The Warden Commander
by MireliAmbar
Summary: Four years after Fem. Cousland sacrifices herself by killing the Archdemon, Alistair the Warden Commander finds his life begins to change when some new recruits arrive at Highever. Serious Fluff Factor. Rating M. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at a fanfic. For those Alistair fans, he doesn't seem to be the same man from the game - not at first. Be patient! I've also used a bit of poetic license in killing of the Archdemon. Thanks to DE for reading the story.

* * *

**The Warden Commander**

'_Mireli! NO!!!' _

_The red haired woman grabbed the large two-handed sword that was sticking out of the ground and ran, dragging the sword towards the Archdemon. Alistair felt his feet stick to the floor and his hands reached out ineffectually towards the woman he loved. Her green eyes met his and a sad smile played upon her lips. Even though she was a rogue, she swung the sword high and jumped on the neck of the Archdemon, sticking the blade through the head of the beast. Then a blinding, flashing light and they were all knocked off their feet; the group, the fighters and darkspawn._

Alistair woke with a start and sat up in bed. After four years of having had and lived this dream, he knew what happened next: Alistair holding Mireli in his arms, his tears of rage and pain not enough to bring her back, then the funeral in Highever, her brother Fergus, who lost his last remaining family member and Alistair, not able to say why she sacrificed herself. _Sacrifice._ They never tell you how deeply that duty would go when you join.

He dried the tears that had been shed during sleep with his hands and got up. Enough self-pity, time for action, he thought. Once he'd completed his morning ritual and got dressed in armour, there was a knock at the door.

'Enter'

'I thought you should know the new recruits have arrived with Fergus, ser' said Alexander. He had only been Joined two years earlier but had gone up the ranks and proved an excellent aide to Alistair.

'They're early aren't they?' asked Alistair, somewhat surprised. Fergus had sent word they would arrive tomorrow at Highever Castle.

'Yes, they managed to get a carriage from Redcliffe earlier than expected, ser.' Alex seemed to hesitate, as if there was something he needed to tell his superior.

'Very well, show the new recruits to their rooms and I'll come down to talk to Fergus. That will be all thank you, Alex.' Alistair watched Alex retreat.

On his way down to meet Fergus, Alistair passed other Grey Wardens and was greeted with nods and 'Warden Commander'. Only in the last year had he got used to the title and felt he was growing into his role effortlessly. There were few at Highever who called him by his name but Fergus was one of the few exceptions.

Fergus was standing in what had been his father's study when he'd lived at Highever originally. He was in front of the desk with his back to the door when Alistair walked into the room. His dark hair was flecked with grey and the lines around the eyes had grown deeper. All the deaths of his family had prematurely aged him, as Mireli's had aged Alistair.

'Fergus, good to see you' said Alistair clapping his friend on the arm. Alistair motioned for him to sit down as he sat in his chair behind the desk. He'd come to Alistair a year after his sister's death, a broken man. Fergus gave Highever to the Grey Wardens and had travelled immediately after her death but couldn't run away from his grief anymore. He had begged to be allowed to join the Grey Wardens and knew something of the Joining, which could be fatal. He felt that he had nothing else to live for and did not care if he died. Once Alistair had seen him fight and made sure that his prowess with a sword wasn't a rumour, Fergus completed the Joining. He was very ill, but survived it, while younger men perished on the same day.

'How was your journey back from Redcliffe? And the Arl?' queried Alistair.

'Tiring, and would have been more comfortable on foot' Fergus replied smiling. 'Eamon sends his greetings.'

'I'm sure. So what's the news on the recruits?'

'We have two. A man by the name of Edmund, who is an excellent fighter with a sword and shield. Originally from Rainsfere but has been living in Redcliffe, training as a blacksmith's apprentice.' Fergus answered.

Alistair nodded. 'And the other recruit?'

Fergus sighed, 'A woman by the name of Talissa, who originally lived in the Elven Alienage in Denerim but fled with her family to Redcliffe during the Blight, when she was just a girl. She fights duelist style and is a very talented rogue. Unfortunately, she's equally good at throwing insults, as Edmund would tell you.'

The two men smiled at each other.

'However, she has excellent leadership potential and would certainly be able to lead a group in the right circumstances' said Fergus. 'You should come down to the training ground and see them this afternoon. We're due to start training them both, once they've had a rest.'

'I certainly will do, if I can get far enough through the paper mountain.' Alistair's eyes strayed to the tray on his left, filled with supposedly urgent memos and letters.

'Well, I'd better get on. I have a lot to catch up with.' Fergus took his leave.

Alistair sat with his elbows on his desk, chin propped up by his hands, thinking. Fergus was the closest person to him at Highever. Once his Joining was complete, they'd had some very uncomfortable conversations about his sister's death. It was still raw for both of them and once he'd even challenged Alistair to a fight while drunk, when he'd found out how close Alistair and Mireli had been. For their relationship had not simply been that of the last two Wardens in Ferelden. During the year they'd travelled and fought together, they had eventually been lovers too. Alistair tried not to think too hard about that but the bittersweet memories came unbidden to mind.

'That damn dream' he muttered and began to move paperwork around the desk.

* * *

Talissa let out a scream of frustration between gritted teeth and kicked the wall outside the back of Highever kitchens. Why did she agree to share a room with the only other female Warden in the place? And how annoying she was! Just because she'd been a Warden for three years longer than Talissa had, didn't mean she had to be bossed around by her. Were all Grey Wardens so damn maddening? Admittedly, she'd liked Fergus from the start. When she'd seen the large man with the twinkling eyes scrutinising her fight on the dummy outside her parents house, she was about to call him a pervert for watching her until he'd introduced himself. Her big mouth, nearly getting herself into trouble again. Her father said she'd always opened her mouth before she'd wound her brain up into working and yet again he was proved right.

Talissa was starting to calm down but she felt sweat trickling down her neck. Maker's breath, she was sweating without even drawing a knife. She thought she should go to the training ground but was finding it hard to muster enthusiasm with Edmund doing his 'Fighters are always better than Rogues' rubbish. It was as if he was going out of his way to aggravate her. She checked her equipment, made sure she had her knives and found her way to the training grounds and waited to meet Zevran for the first time.

It was early afternoon and Alistair was replying to a letter. He'd lost track of time among his correspondence and was about to break for some food, when there was a knock and the door opened.

'Warden Commander,' said a pretty yet angry young woman with long curly black hair 'I need to speak to you'.

'Diandra, please sit down.' A few years ago he would have groaned when faced with a woman so annoyed but he'd learnt to bite his tongue and let them talk before making a judgement call. A skill discovered from his time working with Mireli, he supposed.

'Very well. That...elven woman you've put in my room. I came back to meet her and she had turned the place upside down, changed drawers over and generally messed the room up. I had left enough space for her clothes but she insisted that she needed more.'

Usually, issues like this would be dealt with by their direct superiors but Diandra, like Fergus, was one of the first Grey Wardens at Highever and they helped to rebuild the place. This was the first time she'd come to him with a problem that seemed insignificant. There must be more to this than she's initially said, thought Alistair.

'Is it just a clash of personalities, do you think?'Alistair looked her straight in the eyes and he knew she felt like she was 'running to teacher'.

Diandra dropped her head then looked back at him. 'I didn't explain myself very well but she's the first person I've met here who... I don't think is good Grey Warden material.' She breathed out, a sigh of relief.

'What makes you say that? I know you and I know that you wouldn't say that without a reason.' Alistair leant forward.

'It was her temper. I told her politely that I'd left enough room for her clothes. She looked at me angrily and told me I was a bossy cow and an ignorant shem and then ran out slamming the door.'

For the first time since she'd walked into the room, he got the irrational urge to laugh. The old Alistair would have laughed. Sometimes he really missed the old days.

'She certainly sounds as if she has an attitude alright but that doesn't mean that the attitude can't be tamed. Fergus saw something in her and I trust his judgement. However, we can't have her treating people like that so I'll ask Fergus to have a word with her.'

'Thank you' said Diandra.

'That's not a problem. Now I wonder if there's anything left to eat in the Refectory because I am starving.' said Alistair, escorting her out of the door.

* * *

Alistair always wore basic splintmail armour when training new recruits. This was partly due to him trying to show that at heart, all Wardens were equals but also because he didn't want to show he was the Warden Commander too soon. They would find out quickly enough. New recruits tended to be more honest when they didn't know exactly who he was and he got a good idea of their immediate strengths and weaknesses. None of the other trainers called him by his title when on the field for that reason alone.

Alistair made his way down to the training grounds to watch the recruits. Today, there was only Edmund being trained by Fergus and Talissa being trained by Zevran. He walked across to Fergus and asked if he could have a word. Fergus told Edmund to have a two minute rest and they walked out of hearing distance.

'What's wrong Alistair?' Fergus asked.

'Talissa. Diandra has complained about her attitude. 'Alistair answered.

'Why, what did she say to her?' asked Fergus intrigued. He had hoped that sharing a room with Diandra might calm her down. Some hope, thought Fergus.

'They had an argument and Talissa told her she was a 'bossy cow and an ignorant shem' and stormed out.' He saw Fergus's lips twitching, trying not to smile.

'Bah, it's just a time of the month thing.' Fergus answered.

'Doesn't matter what it is. Would you have a word, let her know her behaviour was not acceptable?'

'Of course I will. Wish me luck, I might need it.' Fergus said in his sometimes flippant manner.

Alistair watched Fergus go across to Talissa and talk to her. Her olive skinned cheeks had flared red. He could tell enough by the hand movements that she was not impressed about Diandra's complaints but she stuck with the telling off. At least she didn't storm off from that too, thought Alistair.

Once Fergus came back to his student, Alistair watched Edmund train, who he agreed had talent with a sword and shield. He needed more confidence but he had no doubt that would be gained in time.

Alistair was trying to ignore the other training duo at the moment although he knew that she would be angry when he did go across. After half an hour he walked to the other side of the field and it was there he heard raised voices.

'You need to be more focused, Talissa.' Zevran said, in his clipped Antivan accent.

'More focused? I am! I'm focused on that bitch who complained about me!' yelled Talissa.

Uh oh, thought Alistair. Zevran was usually able to calm the most stubborn individual but today his charming tones had the opposite effect on this angry young woman.

'Is there a problem?' asked Alistair innocently.

Talissa rounded on him, her amber eyes flashing in annoyance.

'You! You're Diandra's lapdog! You're the one she complained to, aren't you?' Talissa pointed at Alistair. Zevran smiled behind her.

'That's right. She told me what happened.'

'Who are you anyway?' Talissa eyed him up.

'Alistair' he said, keeping up the pretence.

'And I suppose you're yet another Grey Warden who thinks they know it all? I didn't become a Grey Warden to be bossed around.' Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

'No, but you're here to fight and that's what Zevran here is trying to train you to do. All he means is if you can control your anger, you can be a disciplined fighter.' Alistair said calmly.

Some of the anger seemed to go out of her then.

'Let's see what you can do on the training dummy.' Alistair said, walking over to it.

For the next twenty minutes, Alistair saw a young woman who could fight and had skill and speed. She was a talented duelist, that was for sure and when she concentrated on her opponent, she would be able to do some heavy damage. But she was leaving herself wide open to attack.

'You'll do some impressive damage, Talissa but you're making yourself very vulnerable. That attack where you cross your knives is good but you have to be in and out quickly. Don't forget when you're in a group, you won't be fighting alone and it will be your job to spot openings and take advantage of them rapidly.' Alistair told her.

He could see her gritting her teeth as he said this but it didn't matter, someone had to tell her and it may as well be him.

'What type of weapons are you trained in, then?' Talissa asked.

'Sword and shield.' Alistair replied.

'So let me get this straight. I am being advised on how to be a duelist by a man who uses a big sword and a shield and thinks his shield bash is going to save the day. Is that it?' Talissa's eyes flashed angrily and she stared him down while Zevran snorted with laughter.

'That's about right.' Alistair replied, trying not to smile. 'But I have enough experience in fighting to know when you're doing it wrong.'

At that moment, Alexander ran across the training ground to Alistair.

'Warden Commander – there's an urgent message from Queen Anora- 'Alexander said breathily.

Alistair looked at his aide in annoyance. Then he realised that he'd never told Alex about not calling him by his title on the field.

'Very well, I'm afraid I'll have to leave. Zevran, Talissa.' He nodded at an amused Zevran and a shocked Talissa, who now had her mouth open and looked as if she was going to hit the floor any second. He walked back to the Castle.

'Oh no!' Talissa sat down hard on the floor with her head in her hands. Then she looked up and watched Alistair walking across the training ground.

'Zevran, please tell me I didn't just call the Warden Commander a, a-'

'Lapdog? Yes you did I'm afraid. Incidentally, you insulted his combat abilities too' Zevran said, grinning mischievously. 'I hate to think how long you'll be working in the kitchens after this.'

With that he cajoled a dejected Talissa back to her feet to continue training.


	2. Chapter 2

Once she'd finished training, Talissa went straight to the room she shared with Diandra. She felt stupid for her temper, for what she'd said to Alistair, Diandra and even Fergus, although he just took it in his stride.

'A Lapdog...' she muttered to herself. Of all the things she could've called him. She'd heard stories when she was younger about the last two Grey Wardens of Ferelden, how they'd gathered an army and conquered the Archdemon, the other Grey Warden sacrificing herself. She thought that had been incredibly romantic, so when Fergus had introduced himself a week ago and told her she was an excellent fighter, she was taken up with the idea of becoming a Grey Warden. All she could see in front of her was running her parents shop after their deaths. The men weren't exactly beating a path to her door to marry her either.

She should have known when he'd said what his name was. Alistair. Damn, she thought. That man looked too young to be Warden Commander, to do all the things that he was supposed to have done, and more good-looking than she expected.

At that moment, Diandra walked through the bedroom door. She'd heard from Fergus what had happened on the training ground. And because it had happened in front of Zevran, well, it was round the Castle in no time. Although she thought it was amusing, she felt guilty that she'd been the cause of it. Diandra knew if it was her, she wouldn't want to face anyone in the Refectory, so she brought up a sandwich for Talissa's tea. She walked in to find Talissa lying on her bed, a pillow over her head.

'Talissa, I think I should apologise to you. I shouldn't have gone running off to Alistair like that.' Diandra said, standing at the bottom of Talissa's bed.

Talissa moved the pillow. Diandra saw she looked utterly miserable and looked much younger than her twenty years. Poor thing, she thought.

Talissa sat up and said in a small voice 'I think I should apologise to you. You were just being nice to me and because Edmund had been winding me up, I blew up with you instead. The thing about being an ignorant shem, that was for him not you.'

Diandra smiled and sat on the end of Talissa's bed. She liked Talissa in spite of the younger woman's temper. Perhaps Fergus was right about her, thought Diandra, perhaps she will make a good warden.

'I brought you some sandwiches. I didn't think you would be coming into the Refectory after what happened today.' Diandra pushed the plate towards her.

'No! You heard too!' she said, a look of horror on her face.

'Unfortunately, Zevran is possibly the biggest gossip in the castle. Nice man but a huge gossip. He's also not a Grey Warden, either.'

'As if my day can't get any worse' Talissa groaned and was just about to put her head under her pillow again when she'd realised what Diandra had said.

'Hold on, how can he not be a Grey Warden?' Talissa's interest was piqued now.

'Do you know the tale about the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden?' Diandra asked.

Talissa nodded. 'I thought it was a great tale when I was younger, the female Grey Warden sacrificing herself for the sake of her man.'

'Erm... right, well, anyway, Zevran was part of the original group. He was an assassin sent from Antiva to kill Mireli.'

'Mireli? Was that her name? I knew Alistair's name but not hers.' Talissa replied.

Diandra nodded

'She was Mireli Cousland and her family owned this Castle. Fergus is her brother.' Diandra said.

Talissa's mouth fell open.

'I would never have guessed.' Talissa was stunned by Diandra's revelations.

'Anyway, eat your sandwich or the bread will curl' Diandra said.

Talissa began to eat as Diandra continued.

'The reason I'm telling you this, is because it's not the sort of thing they tell new recruits and I think you should at least realise how these people know each other. Zevran promised to dedicate himself to training new warden recruits.' Diandra hesitated and then said 'Also I know you think the story is romantic, but it's about real people and Alistair and Fergus both miss Mireli a lot. And please, don't call Alistair his name to his face, its Warden Commander from now on.'

'I agree' Talissa was starting to feel just a little bit better.

* * *

That evening, Fergus was made his way down to see Alistair. He wanted to speak to him about the new recruits but more specifically, Talissa. He knocked on the study door and walked in. Fergus entered the study to see his friend and Zevran sat by the fire, enjoying a joke. He knew that Alistair and Zevran had a previous history and Mireli had given him a chance to live after botching the assassination attempt but Fergus was never totally sure about Zevran.

'Pour yourself a drink and pull up a chair, my friend. We were just talking about this afternoon's fun on the training ground' said Zev, laughing.

'Yes I've never been called a lapdog before even by your sister.' Alistair started to laugh.

Fergus smiled and sat down, having got himself a drink.

'It sounded like she laid into you a bit. I told you she had a bit of an attitude though, you were warned' Fergus grinned and sipped some whisky. 'I've just seen Diandra and she said that Talissa is hiding in her room, embarrassed by what she said.' Zevran found it funny but Alistair stopped laughing. He felt suddenly like they were being very cruel and that if they were talking about it, the rest of the castle surely was.

'So what did you think of our new recruits?' Fergus asked, changing the subject.

'I thought Edmund is a good fighter but needs more confidence and training. As for Talissa, she's very good but she doesn't take orders well. Mind, it would be interesting to see how she'd handle being a leader of a group though. She might surprise us all' Alistair said.

It suddenly struck Fergus that he'd not seen Alistair this interested in training a new recruit since they'd set up the Grey Wardens at Highever. He'd been happy to leave that to Zevran and himself and a handful of other Wardens.

'Well I'm going to go to my bed anyhow. Night guys. ' said Fergus, finishing his drink and leaving for the night.

Alistair and Zevran sat quietly, each with their own thoughts.

'Does she not remind you of someone?' asked Zevran. He didn't want to upset his friend but he wanted to know if it was just him or if there was something in her personality that seemed familiar.

'Who?'

'Talissa reminds me of Mireli when I first met her, the fire in the eyes.' Zevran wasn't sure how mentioning her name would affect his old friend but he had to try. Four years was a long time to try to ignore the past.

Alistair looked at his empty glass and sighed. He knew what Zevran was trying to say but was not sure he was ready to hear it.

'I think she has her own personality, as I'm sure we will all find out over the coming months.' Alistair said guardedly.

* * *

Next morning, Diandra had finally been able to persuade Talissa to brave the Refectory. She knew Diandra was right, but it still scared her walking in there after what had happened yesterday. They turned a corner and almost walked into Alistair, coming the other way.

'Warden Commander' greeted Diandra.

'Diandra, Talissa' nodded Alistair. 'Talissa, may I have a word a moment? In my study' he said pointing towards a room in the corner. She nodded.

'I'll wait for you outside' Diandra said, smiling. She knew that Alistair wouldn't be too hard on her.

Talissa thought she was going to faint and she was blushing furiously. Don't call him Alistair, Don't call him Alistair, she thought.

Alistair opened the door and motioned for her to walk ahead of him. As she walked into the study, there directly ahead of the door was a portrait above the fire. She knew instantly who this beautiful woman with the Mabari was. She gasped, then remembered why she was there.

Alistair saw her reaction and smiled even though he felt he shouldn't. She's heard the tales and that's why she's here, desperately wanting to be a Grey Warden, he thought. He was only twenty eight, yet it made him feel old that his life and only relationship was reduced to a few bard songs. He wondered if Leliana might have written any of them.

Alistair shut the door and walked over to the desk and perched on the edge. He didn't want this to be too formal.

'About what happened yesterday... ' began Alistair.

'Yes I'm really sorry about that. My dad always said my mouth would get me in trouble. That and my temper and he was right about both of those. I didn't mean to say you were a lapdog or insult your fighting style, Al- erm, Warden Commander' said Talissa coming to an abrupt end. Damn, I nearly called him Alistair. Don't think he noticed though.

Alistair's mouth twitched, trying desperately not to smile. 'I'm not sure if you're aware of this but the reason I pretend to be a trainer the first time new recruits meet me is so they can speak freely. If you'd known I was the Warden Commander, you wouldn't have said a word to me, would you?' said Alistair, looking at the elf in front of him. She looks so scared, he thought.

Talissa shook her head in reply and looked at her feet.

'As it was, your training session was the most... entertaining I've witnessed for a long time.' He laughed.

Talissa looked up. The Warden Commander was laughing at what happened and she giggled too. She looks pretty when she smiles, he thought, no I can't think that, she's a recruit.

'Anyway that's all I wanted to say' Alistair got down from the desk and opened the door to the study 'Oh and one last thing, it's Warden Commander in the Castle. Understood?' he said ushering her out the door, smiling.

'Yes, Warden Commander' Talissa said, trying to make it sound genuine. Damn, he _did_ hear me nearly call him Alistair, she thought.

Once Alistair had closed the door, he sat at his desk and laughed until his sides hurt. It had been a long time since he'd done that.

* * *

Diandra had stood outside waiting for her roommate, when she suddenly heard Alistair laughing and Talissa too. She was surprised. It was very rare she'd heard him laugh.

Once she'd come out of the room, she noticed that Talissa had a grin on her face. Uh oh, I hope she's not developing a crush on him, thought Diandra. She'd be barking up the wrong tree if she has.

Talissa's smile faded when she entered the Refectory and saw the group of men she would be living, working and training with. They didn't all stop to watch her but there was a lot of looking over shoulders when they thought she wasn't watching, especially when they'd heard the news of yesterday's run-in with Alistair. Diandra and Talissa grabbed a tray, helped themselves to breakfast and sat down. The only two seats together were on a table of eight, which included Fergus, Zevran and Edmund, the other new recruit. They all said their greetings to each other.

'Oh hello Talissa,' said Edmund, with a sarcastic grin 'Have you insulted anymore Warden Commanders lately?'

Talissa blushed but ignored him. I wonder if she's finally learning at last, thought Fergus.

'Drop it now Edmund, the joke's getting old' answered Fergus.

Edmund frowned but he didn't say anymore. Diandra smiled her thanks to him but Fergus raised his eyebrows at her. The meal continued and ended in an uncomfortable silence. Once the recruits had gone to prepare for their training sessions and others had finished their breakfast that left Fergus and Diandra alone.

'So what was the smile about then?' said Fergus quietly. He didn't want others to overhear their conversation.

'Trapped wind' she said grinning at him.

'Ha ha, what was it really about Di. I'm not stupid.' Fergus looked at her.

'It was my way of saying thanks for shutting up Edmund. Talissa has been really embarrassed about what happened yesterday. He winds her up.' Diandra said simply.

'He fancies her, that's his problem. He's an inexperienced boy with no idea of how to get her attention. So he insults her.' Fergus explained.

'Ah, the wonders of male logic. I thought boys stopped doing that when they were about eight?' asked Diandra.

'Hey, I never said it made sense but you have to admit that it gets that person's attention if they start insulting you back.' Fergus shrugged.

'Anyway I have a feeling her attentions are further up the ladder' Diandra explained, telling Fergus about Talissa's meeting with Alistair. He looked very surprised when she'd said about them laughing together.

'And you think she _fancies_ him?' said Fergus incredulously.

'I don't know for sure. Don't go saying anything to anyone. I think she's had enough embarrassment for now' said Diandra.

'Yes ser!' said Fergus mockingly.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next eight months at Highever, life continued pretty much as it had before. For Talissa, her fighting improved and she was controlling her temper. Edmund still had his digs at her but she ignored him. She felt she was starting to fit into life at Highever and she and Diandra became good friends. Diandra thought Talissa suited her new found maturity and was glad of her company. Talissa also got to know some of the other Grey Wardens. She'd not seen much of Alistair, except once when she went past his office and he'd come out at the same time. He smiled at her, which made her stomach turn and she'd almost forgotten to say 'Warden Commander'.

Alistair meanwhile, had spent his time travelling backward and forward to Denerim on so-called 'Urgent' commands of the Queen. Queen Anora, or the 'Bitch Queen', as he occasionally called her to Fergus, was wonderfully manipulative and he began to wonder if he was Anora's Lapdog. He wondered if Talissa had been right. However, it could have been worse. He could have been _married_ to the woman. On these trips to Denerim, he took Alex with him, partly for company while travelling but he was useful for finding out from other aides and Anora's staff what was going on behind the scenes.

On the way back from the third trip to Denerim in two months, this time to meet a ambassador of Empress Celene's, Alistair wondered if there was a problem with Alex. He still did an excellent job but he seemed as if his mind were elsewhere. Then Alex broke the silence.

'Warden Commander, may I have a word with you?'Alexander said while they were in the carriage heading back to the castle.

'Please call me Alistair when we're away from the castle or palace. I find few enough people use my name as it is.' Alistair smiled at the younger man.

'Very well, Alistair. I have to talk to you about my future at Highever.' Alex looked down.

'I see.' Alistair wanted Alex to elucidate before continuing.

'Yes. I have enjoyed working as your aide but I feel my future lies doing something else.' Alex breathed out.

'And what other area do you think you would like to work in?' asked Alistair.

'I would like to train recruits in two-handed fighting.' Alex replied.

Alistair raised his eyebrows. This was the one thing he did not expect but he knew on his afternoons off Alex still kept up with his fight training. They did need another fight trainer.

'That sounds like an excellent idea, Alex. The one thing that I ask though is that you train your replacement before leaving yourself. Is that agreed?' Alistair looked at Alex, who was now starting to smile.

'That's agreed.' Alistair said as they shook hands on their deal.

'And, thank you, Alistair.' Alex was not comfortable calling him by his first name.

'That's fine. It's much better that you do a job you'd like to do rather than struggle through with a job you're not happy with.' said Alistair.

* * *

A few hours later, their carriage arrived at Highever. Once Alistair had eaten and cleaned up from travelling, he knew what he needed to do. He found Fergus in the Refectory eating together with Diandra. He noticed that the two of them had grown closer of late and he wondered if there was something in it.

'Warden Commander' both Diandra and Fergus said.

'Evening, both of you. Sorry to disturb your food like this but I need to have a word, Fergus.' Alistair said apologetically.

Alistair moved away from the table and asked Fergus if he and Zevran could meet him in his study as soon as possible. Fergus nodded and went to find Zevran while Alistair went back to his study.

Alistair stood in front of the fire, staring up at the portrait of Mireli. Even though it was the closest likeness of the Hero of Ferelden, it still wasn't close enough. You can't paint a person's personality, especially not hers, he thought. Even after all this time, her green eyes still captivated him. There was a knock on the door and both Fergus and Zevran walked in.

'You wanted to see us, Alistair?' Zevran said.

'Yes, get yourselves a drink and get one for me. I need it after the long day I've had.' Alistair sighed, and sat down by the fire.

Fergus handed him a glass and sat next to his friend.

'I don't want to keep you too long but I've had some news and I need your opinions, both of you' Alistair rubbed his temple as he said this. He could feel a headache developing. 'Firstly,' he continued 'Alex has told me he would like to become a trainer in two-handed sword styles with the recruits. I have no objection because we need a new two-handed trainer, after Gregor left to go to Orzammar.'

To 'go to Orzammar' was the Highever euphemism for dying while killing darkspawn. Once the taint gets too strong in a Grey Warden's blood, they begin to suffer awful dreams and hallucinations. They would rather go to the Deep Roads and die battling darkspawn, than suffer the final humiliation the taint had in store for them.

'That sounds like a good idea, Alistair. We needed someone and soon.' said Fergus. 'Although we can train the basics between us, we needed someone who has experience in fighting two-handed.'

'I am sure he will make an excellent trainer, once he gains experience.' replied Zevran.

'That means I have an opening for an aide. Can either of you suggest anyone who would be able to do the job? There's a lot of diplomacy involved, although Alex will be training whoever replaces him for a few weeks.' asked Alistair.

A few names were bandied around and rejected again for various reasons.

'What about Talissa?' Zevran countered.

Both Alistair and Fergus shot Zevran surprised looks. Where's he going with this, thought Alistair.

'I don't think that's a good idea.' Fergus replied, darkly. He'd remembered his conversation with Diandra about Talissa, just after she'd started at Highever.

'Oh, I think it is an excellent idea. She has come on magnificently since you saw her last, Alistair. She is learning to harness that temper of hers to her fighting and has not had an argument with anyone else since she lost her run-in with you.' Zevran grinned roguishly.

'It might teach her some discipline.' admitted Alistair.

Fergus felt torn, he just had a gut feeling that this wasn't right but couldn't say why because it would mean breaking a confidence made with Diandra. He sighed. 'Very well, I can't think of a good reason why not.'

'I'll need to meet with her to make sure she's happy with this too. Zevran, on your next training session with her, would you tell her to come and see me?' Alistair requested.

'My next session is tomorrow morning.' Zevran asked.

'After lunch then, but don't tell her what it's about. I'd rather tell her myself.'

* * *

The next day, Talissa walked down to the training grounds to meet Zevran. It was a warm, early summer's day and she felt happy and more at home here than she had in all the time she'd been here. Maybe this place was where she was meant to be all along, not working in her parents shop in a town she hated, still being called knife-ears after all this time. If she'd stayed in the Alienage – well, her life would have been different. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while sat on the ground next to the dummy.

'A penny for them?' a familiar voice said.

Talissa opened her eyes to see Zevran stood in front of her.

'I doubt they're worth that, Zevran.' She said smiling. Talissa liked her fellow elf even though he was a terrible flirt.

'Before we start training, you will be pleased to hear that the Warden Commander would like a word with you straight after lunch today.' Zevran said.

'Me! What have I done? I've not lost my temper with anyone or, or said nasty things or called people names. Or anything really.' said Talissa, opening her eyes wide and babbling away.

Zevran laughed.

'Calm down, it's nothing bad. Who knows, you might even like what he has to say.' replied Zevran.

Talissa breathed deeply. She knew she waffled when she was nervous, and boy, did the Warden Commander make her nervous.

'So what's the news about, Zevran?' said Talissa, curiously.

'It's not my news to tell and you would need to work harder on trying to persuade me.' Zevran put his hand on her shoulder.

'I could try to seduce you that would work.' she said, winking at him.

He started to laugh at his student.

'Lesson one of seduction. If you're trying to seduce someone you never tell them what you're trying to do.' Zevran said answered still laughing. He suddenly felt like he'd had this conversation before, with Mireli.

'On with the fighting.' Zevran stated, moving his hand from her shoulder.

* * *

That afternoon, Alistair was sat at his desk with a mountain of paperwork in front of him. The sun was reflected on the floor, making the room stuffy and that didn't help his concentration. Then there was a knock on the door and he opened it.

'Talissa, shall we go for walk?' Alistair said, motioning towards the stairs, leading towards the front door.

She nodded, trying to keep calm. Alistair talked about the weather and said he wanted to get some fresh air. They went outside the main gates and the gardens that lead to the left.

'I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to come and see me' said Alistair, watching her walk besides him.

She nodded, dumbly

'My aide Alex is due to become a trainer and I will need a new aide. I wondered if you would be willing to take the role on. It's a challenge, I can't deny that but I have heard from Zevran and he seems to think you'd be good at the job. There will also be a certain amount of travelling involved.'

Talissa gasped. Me, be his aide, she thought. The man must be mad.

'There must be some mistake.' Talissa began 'You must have me confused with someone else.'

'I'm not sure that's possible.' Alistair laughed. 'I think I would remember someone who insulted my combat abilities, don't you?'

Talissa looked up at him and started to grin coyly.

'Look, if you start tomorrow**, **whydon't you try it for a week? If it's not for you or if you and I fall out again, then we call it quits and I look for someone else. No hard feelings. How does that sound?' Alistair said.

'That sounds good.' Talissa was surprised

'Then shake hands on it.' Alistair said, holding his hand out to her. She put her hand in his and they shook hands, the tips of her fingers brushing his palm as they pulled away.

Alistair breathed in quickly, and soon gained his composure. They separated outside the castle and Alistair went to his study. He leant against his study door, looking at the portrait of the woman he loved and thought, Mireli, what in Maker's name have I started?

* * *

Diandra walked back to her room. She'd heard a rumour from one of her charges she was teaching Warden History to and wanted to know if it was true, that Talissa had been asked to be Alistair's Aide. She walked into her room and there was Talissa, looking out of the window, towards the gardens, so caught up in her own thoughts, she didn't hear Diandra come in.

'I believe you've been given the job as the Warden Commander's Aide. Congratulations.' Diandra said, as she sat on the end of Talissa's bed.

Talissa turned to her, smiling. She looked so happy, Diandra didn't want to burst her bubble, yet she wasn't sure this was such a good idea.

'Can I ask you something, Talissa?' Diandra said.

'Yes of course' Talissa said, smiling.

'I know you and I didn't start off on the right foot, so I'm sorry if I seem like I'm prying but before you became a Grey Warden, did you have much experience of men?' Diandra knew from her own experience that if you concentrated on fighting, you didn't usually go chasing around after men.

Talissa brought her knees up, hugging them, as if she were protecting herself from Diandra's question.

'I've...not had a boyfriend if that's what you're asking.' Talissa said, haltingly.

'But I thought that elves tended to go for arranged marriages?' said Diandra

Talissa nodded, swallowing hard.

'So was nothing ever arranged for you?'

'I had an arranged marriage set up in the Alienage with Neralos, but then we had to leave the Alienage when the Blight hit Denerim. He married someone else after the Blight was over and my family ended up as the only elves in a small town called Redcliffe.' Talissa looked back out onto the garden, trying not to cry.

Diandra sat next to Talissa and put an arm round her shoulders 'I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you but I don't want you to get hurt either. I've seen the way you look at Alistair, you know. I don't want you thinking you and he have a chance together.'

Talissa sat, feeling stupid that she'd been so transparent. 'Do you think he's noticed that I like him?'

Diandra giggled. 'Come on, this is a man we're talking about, some men never notice anything like that. No, I think it's only me who's noticed. But I have to stick up for my fellow female Grey Warden. With two women and thirty plus men, there's too much machismo at Highever.'


	4. Chapter 4

_Alistair knew he was in the Fade and realised he was at the campsite. He felt his stomach churn. There was no-one around. He stood up and walked over to where her bedroll was. All he could hear was the crackle of the fresh wood on the fire and the wind in the trees that surrounded him. Then he felt it, a touch on his hand._

'_Alistair.' The voice came from behind him._

_He turned and there, sat near the fire, was Mireli as beautiful as she'd been in life. Her red hair seeming to glow from within. His heart swelled until it felt like it would break. _

_He walked over and sat down next to her._

'_I miss you so much, my lady.' he said, feeling the tears streaming down his face._

'_I miss you too, my prince.' His throat tightened up on hearing her name for him. He could feel the lightest touch and knew she was stroking his arm but also knew that he could never hold her. Not until they were reunited in the Fade._

'_Alistair, I didn't die so that you could spend the rest of your life mourning me, that's not what I want for you. There are other people to live for. You know that.' Mireli said._

'_I don't understand.' Alistair said._

'_You will do. I must leave you, my darling. I think you should bring that box out from your bottom drawer into the light.' Alistair looked mystified. She gently kissed him on his lips. 'I am always with you'. Then she was gone._

Alistair woke up and sobbed into his pillow, feeling the agony of Mireli's death as freshly as if it had just happened. When he'd calmed down, it dawned on him he didn't have a clue what Mireli was talking about. Time to empty his bottom drawer, he thought. Alistair grabbed the wooden drawer and pulled it out. There was nothing obvious on top so he emptied it on the bed. The last thing to fall out was a small wooden box, landing smack in the middle of his clothes. All of a sudden, he knew what was in there. He must have put it there when he first moved to Highever. He felt sick and sat down hard on the bed among the discarded clothes, as if his legs had given way under him. Clutching the wooden box, he opened it and there it was; his mother's locket. There was no tarnish and it looked the same as the last time he'd seen it. Mireli was wearing it, the night before the Battle, the last time they had been together. He tried to block the images of them together, their naked bodies intertwined but he suddenly realised he couldn't shut his feelings out any longer. He needed to move on.

* * *

Next day, Talissa came into her room and flung herself down on the bed. She never knew Alex could be so irritating. She'd spent most of the day with him, having only seen Alistair once. Diandra walked into their room and looked at the prone Talissa and thought, this does not look good.

'How was the first day then?' Diandra asked.

Talissa gave an exasperated grunt. 'Is it just me or is Alex annoying? Yes, Warden Commander, No, Warden Commander, Three Bags Full, Warden Commander.' she derided in an almost perfect impression of the current aide.

Diandra laughed. 'He can be a bit officious at times but that's just how he is.' She shrugged. 'As long as you're polite and mind your P's and Q's, you should be fine. What about the job though, what did you think of that?'

'From what I saw of it, I liked it. In fact, the three of us are going to Denerim to the Palace in a few days time!' Talissa answered, with obvious excitement in her voice.

'In that case, you _will_ have to be polite then.' Diandra said 'Come on, let's go to the Refectory and you can tell me all about it on the way there.'

* * *

The day after she found out they were going to Denerim, Alistair asked Talissa to meet him in the Armoury, straight after tea. She assumed that Alex would also be there, as he seemed to follow his boss everywhere. I wonder if he stands outside the toilet and waits for him, thought Talissa. She shook her head, not believing she thought that and walked down the passage to the Armoury. She was a bit surprised to find Alistair in his splintmail armour, not the usual breast plate and no Alex. She coloured a bit, her sheltered elven upbringing coming back to her. _In a room alone with a man. _ And such a good looking one too. Her parents would have a fit if they knew.

'I brought you here to find you some armour that you could wear at Denerim. That armour you're wearing now is serviceable-' Alistair said, looking through the stands of armour they had.

'- but not smart.' finished Talissa.

Alistair turned and looked at her and smiled. Smart girl this one, he thought.

'Now there should be some drakescale armour here that was donated by an old friend of mine. She wore it when we killed the Archdemon. She was a bard from Orlais. Ah ha, here it is.' Alistair pulled out grey leather armour that looked a bit big for her but Talissa was keen to see what it looked like on.

'Nice armour.'

He put the armour in her hands and said 'Go and try it on'.

She looked surprised and glanced around. There was nowhere for her to go, as far as she could see. 'Where would you suggest?'Talissa said. Then she saw him redden slightly.

'Oh yes, sorry, I'll put the lock on the door and turn around.' Alistair locked the door and stood facing it.

'No peeking.' she said, before it was out of her mouth. This is bizarre_. _Foot in mouth again... I've just told the Warden Commander of all of Ferelden not to peek at me getting changed, she thought.

Alistair grinned at her telling him not to peek. He was beginning to think she'd make a welcome change from Alex, who was a bit humourless.

She put the armour on and fastened it up as far as she could reach and then told him he could turn around.

'That suits you although – it needs fastening up at the top here. One moment.' Alistair went behind her and fastened the armour up at the back.

She closed her eyes as he closed the armour up and tried to forget that the person behind her, occasionally touching her skin was a man. A fact she was very aware of.

He stood at the front and looked at her. 'It's not a bad fit. It will need altering but we can get that done after the Denerim trip. Put the helmet on.' Alistair said, handing her the remaining piece of armour, the boots and gloves having fit perfectly. She put it on and then laughed. Her head was smaller than the helmet and it rested on the bridge of her nose so she couldn't see properly. Alistair laughed as well.

'All right, don't put the helmet on for now.' he grinned at Talissa, pulling the helmet off her.

'Oww, that bent my ears!'

Alistair found himself about to offer to rub her ears better, as he would have done if she'd have been Mireli. Ridiculous, don't even go there, he thought.

Talissa saw his smile slip, as if she'd overstepped some invisible mark.

'Well, you'll need to get this altered to fit you but for now this will do fine.' Alistair hesitated and then said 'We killed the drakes whose scales make up this armour.' He tapped her shoulder.

'Where was this?' The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

'The Temple of the Urn of Sacred Ashes. We went to get Andraste's Ashes to cure Arl Eamon.' Talissa looked at him surprised.

'Arl Eamon, the Arl of Redcliffe?' Talissa asked

'Yes, do you know him?' asked a bemused Alistair.

'Not personally but my sister works at the Castle as the Arlessa's maid.' Talissa replied.

'Oh. I used to live at the Castle, when I was a child.' Alistair sighed 'But that's a story for another day.'

* * *

The day before they left for Denerim, Talissa had her first afternoon off since she started her job as Alistair's aide, so decided to take a spare dummy and train for a bit in her old armour. She was in the middle of a training session that she found uninspiring without Zevran, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

'How's the training going, Talissa?' Alistair said, walking up to her, dressed in his splintmail. He offered her the skin of water he'd brought with him. She nodded her thanks and took the water from him and drank. She usually brought something to drink but not today.

'It's boring just fighting a dummy, Warden Commander.' She smiled at him and wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand.

'Alistair, please. And that's why I was going to suggest a duel.' He grinned.

'A duel? And if I should accidentally cut you?' Talissa, as much as she liked the sound of duelling, had visions of being held in the Palace dungeons for wounding the Warden Commander.

'Then it serves me right for playing with knives, or playing with women with knives. Besides, that's what the healer is for.' Alistair shrugged and took the sword and shield from his back and readied himself.

'Very well, agreed. Any rules?' She asked, making sure she was prepared for whatever this duel brought.

'No backstab and nothing above the neckline. I don't want you to cut my handsome face.' He said in a mocking tone of voice, grinning.

'Fine, but no shield bash and stop trying to make me laugh!' Talissa said, trying not to smile.

'I agree – about the shield bash anyway.' He said bringing his sword down in front of her. She quickly crossed knives, running them along the length of his blade and pushing it away with a sharp tinging noise. He smiled at her swift response, Zevran had obviously taught her well.

'I think you'll be lost without the shield bash, Alistair.' She taunted, dodging backwards and underneath as he swiped with his shield.

'And you won't be lost without your backstab, Talissa? I think you will.' Talissa watched him grin at her in a way that was so damn distracting. She didn't notice until it was too late, the sword graze across her bare knuckles. She should have worn her gloves but didn't think she'd need them for fighting a dummy. She swore under her breath but carried on.

He knew he'd hit her but admired the way she ignored the pain. He was just thinking about this when her foot connected with his knee, causing him to stagger. 'Oi, that's dirty fighting!'

'You didn't say I couldn't use my feet in the rules at the start.' Talissa said, laughing triumphantly. She swirled the knives in front of her, motioning for him to move.

He swiped the edge of the shield towards her and she dodged his attack. While his shield was up, she crossed the knives and swiped his stomach, one of the knives cutting the narrow band of leather armour between the splints.

Alistair used shield bash and the shield, instead of stunning her, connected with both of her knives, crossed against him. The noise seemed to explode around them. He was trying to push against her and she was pushing against his shield with her arms, both trying to outstare the other.

'I thought you said no shield bash.' Talissa realised she was so close she could smell his sweat, fresh on leather.

'I lied.' Alistair said smiling.

'That wasn't very honourable, now was it?' Talissa said, without thinking.

'We're trying to cut each other up, what's honourable about that?' He was so entranced looking at her amber eyes, that he didn't realise how long they'd spent in this position. It seemed like hours. He watched her and realised that wasn't a look of concentration on her face, she was in _pain._ That was when he moved back and moved his shield away. The graze on her knuckles was bleeding, causing blood to run down the back of her hand, and both her wrists looked bruised.

'Why didn't you say you were injured, Talissa?' Alistair asked, offering her the water again.

'Oh, so if I was fighting darkspawn, I should just say, 'Oh excuse me while I just heal and rest up before hitting you again'?' Talissa said angrily taking a swig of water.

'Except you're not fighting darkspawn, you were duelling me and I wouldn't have carried on with that shield bash if I'd known.' Alistair shook his head at her. 'Stubborn woman, let's get you to the healer, before you bleed everywhere.'

Talissa blushed slightly but said, 'Thanks for the duel.'

'You're welcome, only next time we're wearing more armour and I'll shield bash if I want to.' Alistair smiled at her.

'You did anyway. In that case I'll keep my backstab.'

'Just as long as you know that next time you try to kick me, you better hope I don't grab your foot.' Alistair was grinning at this woman and even sweaty, bleeding and with her hair coming loose from her ponytail, she still looked so pretty.

'Oh yes? And why would that be?' Talissa smiled. It had never happened to her before, but she got the feeling she was being... flirted with. And she was responding.

'Because then I would find out if you had ticklish feet!'

'Oh, you are going to have to be so much quicker to find out if my feet are ticklish!' Alistair and Talissa laughed as they walked back into the castle grounds.

They walked into the healer's room near the top of the castle, and there was Millie the elder healer. Although she'd not had to see Millie much in her professional capacity, as one of the few females in prominent jobs at Highever, Talissa and Diandra got on well with her. She had a severe lined face which wrinkled easily when annoyed but she smiled just as often. Her once-blonde hair was lined with grey, tied back in a bun at the nape of her neck, and although she wasn't a Grey Warden, she loved working at the Castle. To Alistair, meanwhile, she reminded him of Wynne. He got on well with her, although like Wynne, there were times she made him feel like he was straight out of the Chantry.

Once at the healer's room, Millie decided that Talissa's wounds were more serious than his, though nothing was broken. She made her put both hands in a bowl of cold water to help the swelling go down, while she had a look at Alistair's stomach. Talissa was trying not to look while he took his chest armour off but it was proving very difficult, especially as he was on the next bed, not far away. When he was turned away from her she looked at his physique, looking at his muscular shoulders and arms. She shook her head as she wondered what it would be like to be held by those arms, and tried to stare at the light coming through the window on the opposite side of the room. That didn't distract her enough. Millie had gone to get some bandages and Alistair was lying down when she saw the cut on his stomach. It was shallow but it had certainly bled.

'How's the hands?' Alistair asked turning towards her, leaning up on one arm.

'All I can feel is the cold. How's the stomach?' Talissa asked trying to only look at his face but her eyes kept moving. She was glad she had the cold water, it made her less likely to blush.

Alistair put a solemn voice on and said 'It's agony, in fact it could be serious. That knife of yours may have penetrated major organs.'

'I don't believe you.' Talissa giggled.

'And neither do I' said Millie, coming back into the room.'Lay down Warden Commander and we will see which organs, if any, this knife has gone through.' she said, beginning to clean the wound up.

Millie sighed and said. 'What on earth were you two doing fighting each other? As if I don't have enough to deal with without you both injuring yourselves. And as for you, Warden Commander, you should know better.' Alistair heard a giggle from Talissa.

'You can stop giggling. If you hadn't tried to stab me in the stomach, I wouldn't be here.' Alistair said grinning.

'You challenged me to a duel.'

Millie looked at each of her patients and decided they were both as foolish as the other.

'Well, whoever started it doesn't matter. You should have turned him down. Talissa, I thought you had more sense than that. Get your clothes back on.' She said to Alistair.

Alistair winked at Talissa behind Millie's back as he reached for his chest armour. Talissa tried to ignore his wink and as Millie looked at her hands, she could feel nothing in her fingers. The cold water had stopped the bleeding and the swelling went down on the wrists. Millie put a healing potion on the knuckles, strapped the hands up and told her to not fight for a few more days.

When they both left the healer's room, Talissa said 'You didn't need to wait for me.'

'I injured you. I thought it only fair.'

'I injured you too. Anyway, I better go back to my room. Thanks, Warden Commander.' She gave him a small shy smile when she walked away.

Warden Commander. Damn, that title was like having cold water thrown over him, he thought.

* * *

Alistair sat with a whisky in front of the fire in his study. For once Fergus didn't join him but he was spending time with Diandra, he knew. He didn't begrudge him that, he deserved a bit of happiness after the events of the last five years. And then there was Talissa. He smiled as he thought about her, about the duel they'd had. He was still smiling as Zevran sat down on the chair in front of his.

Zevran studied his face intently. 'Why, that's something I have not seen on your face for a very long time, my friend. And about a woman, too. That is a good sign, yes?' About time, thought Zevran.

'I don't know what you mean, Zev.' Alistair said trying to sound innocent.

'I see that look on your face and I know you well enough to know what it means.'

Alistair rolled his eyes. 'You can be sodding annoying at times, Zevran'

'That is the old Alistair that I loved to annoy.' Zevran said grinning. 'So tell me, you like Talissa then?'

'I think she'll make a good aide, a different personality from Alex but she'll bring her own character to the job.' Alistair said, careful to keep his face neutral.

'I saw you two fight today. Very impressive.' Zevran had watched the fight and had been proud of his student.

'By the way, she offered to seduce me the other day, to find out what you wanted.' Zevran smirked.

'You didn't take her up on the offer? ' Alistair said, curiously.

'No, a young woman, with no life experience offering to seduce me? I would have to teach her more than just fighting.'

'She's young, Zev.' Alistair felt he had to stick up for her.

'She's twenty one, that's a year older than Mireli was. It's her sheltered upbringing that makes her seem younger.'

'True. Anyhow, I better get to bed. We've got to be out early tomorrow. Myself, Alex and Talissa are going to Denerim and will be back the day after tomorrow.' Alistair said, finishing up his drink.

'Oh yes, staying at the inn or the Palace?' asked Zevran.

'The inn, you know how I loathe that woman and her Palace.'


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Talissa got a strange feeling riding through the gates of Denerim by carriage. She remembered when she and her family had left five years earlier, on foot as refugees. She took a deep breath and forced her mind back to the present. The journey had been long and uneventful. Alex barely spoke to her. She thought he resented her being there, as if his last trip to Denerim was going to be ruined by Talissa intruding on a private moment with his boss. Alistair didn't seem to notice. He spent the journey reading papers for this afternoon's meeting with the Orlesian ambassador.

Every now and then, Alistair would glance across at Talissa. He knew that Denerim held bad memories for her and she certainly looked sad. He pulled his thoughts back to the meeting with the ambassador, a meeting he didn't want to be in.

They went straight to the Royal Palace. Talissa couldn't believe that she was here. Elves only usually went through the servants' quarters of the Palace. When they came to get out of the carriage, Alex gave her a withering look and said 'Follow my lead and don't say a word unless you're directly spoken to.' Talissa followed the two men out of the carriage and into the Palace courtyard. When they'd walked up all the steps, Alistair turned right into the Reception rooms, where Queen Anora met her guests. Alex and Talissa turned left and went down a long corridor and into an anteroom where the aides met. There were very few people there when they arrived and luckily Talissa had a good memory for faces and names or she would have been completely lost. Alex explained to the other aides that Talissa was to be his replacement. They were mostly men and there were no other elves there. Therefore, she felt like she was on display, a piece of meat at a market. Alex had explained the day before which aides were in whose pay, and who they were accompanying. She'd written it down but still began to feel overwhelmed. Fortunately, the meeting was cut short due to a dinner to be held that night. Although the Warden Commander was invited, he rarely attended any of these dinners at the palace, Alex explained.

Alex quite liked the young woman due to take over his role but he wondered how quickly she would feel swamped by the job. He wasn't sure if he should tell her about the reason for Alistair and Queen Anora's polite antipathy with each other but decided it was up to Alistair to say, not him.

They made their way back in the carriage to the Gnawed Noble Inn where they'd arranged three rooms to stay in. Her room was nice enough and looked directly onto the marketplace. Talissa brushed her hair and tried to freshen up a bit and applied more make-up. They were due to have an early dinner and a bit of time to go for a walk afterwards. She decided to head over to the Alienage after dinner. The dinner itself was fairly quiet, Alistair asked Talissa how the afternoon had gone and he told them what happened at the Palace, although mentioning no names for privacy's sake. At the end of the meal, Alex and Alistair stayed in the bar talking while Talissa went out.

'Don't take any money with you' Alistair said 'The market district is notorious for pickpockets.'

'I know, I lived here. Remember?' Talissa smiled in response.

'Of course you did, in that case, go. If someone robs you, you've my permission to give them a hard time.' Alistair said grinning.

'Will do'

Alistair watched her go out of the door and had to drag his attention back to the conversation with Alex.

* * *

Talissa headed out of the front door and began walking towards the Alienage. This place has not changed much, considering there's been a Blight since I was last here, she thought. As she approached the gate of the Alienage, a guard was stood talking to a young red haired woman. She looked familiar.

'Shianni!' Talissa shouted at her second cousin.

Shianni ran over to her and they hugged as if she'd never been away.

'What are you doing back? And in that armour too! My little cousin all grown up.' Shianni said staring admiringly at Talissa.

'I'm a Grey Warden now and I'm here with the Warden Commander as his aide'. Shianni's eyebrows shot up with surprise.

'I can't believe it. You always were a good fighter though. The Warden Commander? Isn't that King Maric's bastard son who tried to stage a bid for the throne a few years ago?' Shianni asked.

'I... don't know.' Talissa was really surprised. She had no idea that Alistair was of royal blood. Shianni would know things like that. Talissa's father always said Shianni was a political animal, something no female elf should be.

'How is everyone? Talia, Neralos and the rest of them?' Talissa noticed Shianni looked solemn.

'There's something you should know about Neralos.'

* * *

Alistair and Alex were talking about what was happening at Highever with the wardens when Alistair saw Talissa come in through the door. She was obviously very distressed, had gone pale and looked as if she had been crying. Talissa made to walk past them as fast as she could but Alistair stood up and asked her to join them.

'My apologies Warden Commander, but I need an early night, I'm feeling unwell.' Talissa said, avoiding his eyes.

'Very well. I hope you feel better soon.' Alistair knew enough about women to know when they weren't telling the truth but didn't want to embarrass her by making her divulge her secret.

Alex went to bed soon after, leaving Alistair sat with his thoughts and they led back to Talissa again. He didn't want to pry but she seemed genuinely upset. He wondered if she'd had some bad news, possibly related to the Alienage. He finished his drink and decided to go to bed.

When he reached his door, he heard the sound of someone crying into a pillow, hoping to deaden the sound. He turned and looked. The noise was coming directly from the room across the passageway. Talissa's room. He groaned and put his head against the door jamb. He didn't really want to go barging into a young woman's room uninvited but she was very upset and he knew he'd end up feeling bad that he'd at least not tried to find out what was wrong. Maker's Breath, what was wrong with him?

He tapped on Talissa's door and as he didn't get told to go away, he went in.

* * *

'Talissa?'

Talissa looked up from under the covers when she'd heard the door opening. She thought she was being robbed then realised that someone who is about to rob you, doesn't usually call your name out. She glanced out from under the blankets to see a familiar silhouette in the doorway: Alistair. Her eyes went wide in alarm and wondered if there was a problem.

He closed the door and went over to the side of the bed. Talissa moved away from him. Instinct, upbringing, call it what you will but she was anxious.

'Talissa, don't be frightened. I heard you crying and saw your face when you came in. What's wrong?' Alistair sat half-way down the bed.

Talissa sat up in bed, still in her armour and hugged her legs with her arms. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear me.'

'I know you didn't but something is obviously upsetting you. Please tell me' he said looking her straight in the eyes. In the moonlight shining through the window, she saw him put his hand on the blanket covering her feet.

Talissa sighed. 'I met my cousin Shianni just outside the Alienage tonight and then she told me something about a man I used to know called Neralos. She told me he'd died when there was a typhus outbreak in the Alienage a year ago.'

'And this upset you?' Alistair asked quietly.

She nodded.

'He was my, my betrothed before I moved to Redcliffe.' she sobbed 'Once we left, my betrothal was annulled and he married someone else. I haven't thought about this for a while but I suppose it brought it all back to me, the life I could have had.' She began to cry again and that was when Alistair moved up the bed and held her in his arms. He pulled her to him so her head was on his chest. He knew she needed to be comforted and he put his arm round her.

Talissa had been told that this was wrong yet she also knew that him holding her felt right. He stroked her hair and leant her head on his chest and she could hear his heart beating. It was so good to be held by him. And then she felt it, a light kiss on her hair, his breathing into her scalp. She looked up at him and he kissed her gently on the lips. She responded in return and they started to kiss more deeply. Alistair kissed her neck and trailed kisses towards the neckline of the armour she wore and her breathing became ragged as she moved under his touch.

Alistair was so turned on. All this time, he'd tried to deny himself, his feelings, and his needs. As far as he was concerned, they had died on top of Fort Drakon with Mireli. Now he knew that wasn't true, the feelings crashed through his defences like a flood. He knew he wanted to be with this woman and _now._

'Talissa' he whispered,' I want to stay the night with you.'

She froze.

'No I can't! I'm sorry but I can't!' She shoved him away from her.

Well done Alistair, he thought as he walked out of the door back to his room. He slammed his bedroom door on the way through and kicked it for good measure.

* * *

Talissa had had a thoroughly unpleasant night's sleep. Not only did she have to deal with the news about Neralos, she didn't know if Alistair was going to be angry, or even if she had a job as his aide after this.

Meanwhile, Alistair also had an uncomfortable night's rest. He groaned when he thought about what had happened in her room. He couldn't believe he'd said what he did to her. She was obviously upset. He felt as inept as the ex-Chantry boy he'd been five years earlier, when every innuendo or suggestion used to make him blush bright red. Eventually, he dropped off to sleep at about four, only to be woken up a few hours later by Alex, saying they were due to leave in an hour. After an uncomfortable silence at breakfast, they went to the carriage.

On the way home, Talissa stared out of the window and spoke few words to either of the men while Alistair fell into a restless sleep. While he was sleeping, Alex asked if she was alright, as he'd heard a man talking in her room last night. Talissa tried not to blush but said she was probably talking in her sleep. Alex wasn't sure what to make of that but didn't query it. When the carriage reached Highever, Alistair told them they were excused for the rest of the day.

Alistair needed to escape the confines of the castle and to do some training. He didn't get a chance to train as often as he would like so he gladly took the opportunity when it arose. He grabbed a training dummy and started whacking it to vent his frustrations. He was still hitting the dummy with all his strength when Zevran came walking over.

'What's wrong?' asked Zevran.

'Leave it, Zev.' Alistair said between gritted teeth as his shield met the dummy in a shield bash he would have been proud of years earlier. 'I'm not talking about it'

'Oh, I think your fighting style expresses more eloquently what words could not, my friend.' Zevran smiled.

Alistair growled and hit the dummy so hard that the wooden stand it was on cracked.

'Enough before you break anything else.' Zevran held a hand out to stop Alistair.

Alistair threw his sword and shield down on the ground and sat down. He was exhausted and felt more out of condition than he ever had. Mind, I'm not fighting darkspawn every day, he thought.

Zevran crouched next to his friend.

'So are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to guess, hmm?' Zevran said in a low voice.

No reply.

'Very well, it is something to do with Talissa. Something that you're not proud of.' he muttered so only Alistair could hear.

'And that's why I have to put it right.' Alistair stood up, picked up his equipment and headed back to the castle.

On the way to his bedroom, Alistair put a note under Talissa's door, hoping she wouldn't see him. He asked one of the castle servants to run him a bath and tried to work out what to say to her. He certainly didn't feel proud of himself for launching himself on her. He assumed she was a virgin because of her background. Then he remembered when Mireli had first suggested they sleep together. They were both drunk and he'd high-tailed it back to the safety of his tent alone. He had panicked, as Talissa had last night. What a fool he'd been. Alistair ran his hand through his hair, a remnant of the old Alistair which still came out now and then. Once he'd had a bath and put some clothes on instead of his usual armour, he went to get some food before meeting Talissa.

* * *

Talissa was sat on her bed looking out of the window, idly watching the clouds go by. She felt so numb over the events of the last day. She was sad about Neralos dying but knew if she'd stayed in the Alienage, she might have died too or her family. The Alienage wasn't part of her life any more. And as for what had happened with Alistair, she had no idea how to deal with it, no life experience that would help in this situation. She wished Diandra were here to talk to. It was then she noticed the letter on the floor by the door. At some point during the afternoon, a letter had been pushed under the door with her name on it. The note inside said:

Talissa,

We have to talk. Meet me in the study at 6 today.

A

She shook her head but knew she would have to be there. As he was her commanding officer, what choice did she have?


	6. Chapter 6

At six, Talissa knocked on Alistair's study door and walked in.

'Evening Talissa, take a seat.' Alistair said, pointing at the chair in front of him. Once she'd sat down, she noticed that he was wearing clothes rather than armour, something she was trying hard not to stare at.

'I need to apologise to you.' Alistair said, looking directly into her eyes. 'Last night, what I said to you shouldn't have happened. I think you should know I've not been in a relationship with anyone else since or prior to Mireli. I shouldn't have made a move on you. That was very tactless after you heard about your betrothed dying.'

'Oh! I thought you'd come onto other women like this before.'

'If I had, don't you think I'd be better at it by now?' Alistair said smiling. She smiled back at him. 'I think you deserve to know something about my background, Talissa.' Alistair got up to make them both drinks. 'Did you know I originally trained as a Templar before being conscripted as a Grey Warden?' Alistair said, handing her the glass.

'No I didn't know that.' She said surprised. She had a feeling that this would not be the last surprise where this man was concerned.

'I was sent to the Chantry when I was ten. I grew up among other trainee Templars. Because I was very rarely around other women, I was quite socially inept. At least with women I liked. I would joke with them but they didn't seem to realise what lay behind the jokes.' Alistair looked away from her, his eyes down. 'Anyway, last night shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry for it'.

'Alistair? Can I ask you something?' He nodded in reply. 'Which bit are you sorry for, going too far or kissing me in the first place?' she said in a low voice. Maker, why did she say that, she thought.

He smiled straight at her, a sexy smile that made her stomach lurch and said 'Do you want me to be honest? I enjoyed kissing you but I felt bad about asking you to sleep with me.'

'I enjoyed being kissed by you too.' she answered in reply, not believing she was saying these things. 'What you said scared me. And that's due to a reasonsimilar to yours. My upbringing. Alienage elves are pretty strict about sex before marriage too.'

'I thought you hated me being there.' Now it was his turn to look surprised.

'That's the last thing I felt, believe me.' She smiled. 'So what happens now? Are you going to look for someone else to be your aide?'

'No, why should I? Even Alex seems to think you'll make a good aide.' Alistair said, watching her reaction.

'High praise indeed.' Talissa started to giggle. The alcohol was making her feel lightheaded.

He smiled at her giggling.

'But losing your position wasn't what you meant when you said 'what happens now', was it?'

'I suppose not.' she said seriously.

'Well as we seem to like each other, I suggest we take it slow. I don't want you running off like a frightened rabbit.'

'Or you smashing things up.' Talissa's eyes shone with glee.

'You heard about that, did you? That was your fault, you know.' Alistair grinned at her.

'It's my fault? Hey, I'm not the man with the sword and shield who thinks he can save the day.' The atmosphere seemed to lighten between them, the same as it had on the day they duelled together.

Alistair stood up and held his hand out to Talissa for her to stand.

'You see, that's what I've liked about you from the start, Talissa.' He held her in his arms and looked straight into her shining amber eyes.

'Oh, and what would that be?' she whispered.

'You're one of the only people in this entire castle who isn't afraid to tell me what she thinks.' He answered pulling her closer to him and kissing her.

* * *

Diandra was in the room she shared with Talissa, thinking. It was past twelve and there was no sign of her roommate. Although she knew Talissa was a grown woman, she was still concerned for her. She wanted to find out how Denerim had gone and was just about to go and find Talissa, when in she walked, looking red-cheeked.

'Oh hello, where have you been until this hour?' Diandra said in a mocking tone.

'Hello to you too and I've been with Alistair, talking.' said Talissa walking to her bed and hoping her face wasn't giving too much away.

'Oh I see' said Diandra, trying not to smile.

Talissa got ready for bed and blew the light out.

'So this is going to drive me mad but what did you mean by 'Oh, I see'?' asked Talissa.

Diandra laughed dirtily, 'I mean you are spending a lot of time together, aren't you? You were there from six until now. That's a long time' Diandra replied.

'He's my commanding officer and – HEY! How did you know what time I was there from?' Talissa turned to face her friend in the dark.

'You'd make an awful bard, you know. You left the letter open on your bed.' Diandra giggled. 'And was Alex with you?'

'Erm, yes he was' Talissa lied.

'WRONG! Last time I saw him he was being chatted up by Zevran.' They laughed.

'So let's look at the facts. Six hours in the evening, in the same room as a man who is supposed to be your superior, just talking you say. I don't believe you.' Diandra ended in a sing-song voice. 'I saw that flushed look as you came through the door. You don't get that by just talking.'

Talissa sighed realising her lies weren't working against Diandra's barrage of questions. 'We kissed too.'

She heard a match strike and Diandra lit a candle. 'Was that your first kiss?' Diandra said excitedly, moving to sit on Talissa's bed.

'Yes it was.'

'Arrggh! You can be so annoying. You don't give much away!'

'Well what can I say, I have nothing else to compare it to.' Talissa smiled shaking her head.

'Let me put it this way, did you enjoy it?' Diandra asked. She only needed to look at the smile on her friends face to know the answer.

'I... loved it.' Talissa felt shy admitting it.

'I am really happy for you.'

* * *

A week later, on the first morning that Talissa took over from Alex, there was a banging on the door at six in the morning.

'Urgent message from Queen Anora. The Warden Commander must send a reply back immediately.' the guard said, who delivered it.

Talissa got dressed as quickly as she could and went to Alistair's bedroom.

'Warden Commander?'

'Come in' a tired voice on the other side of the door said.

She walked in to the semi-darkened room.

'Urgent message from Denerim.' Talissa said, then recognized that Alistair was bare-chested and still in bed. She blushed slightly as she stared at his muscular body.

'Can I get dressed now?' Alistair grinned, sitting up and revealing even more of his stomach. The scratch had healed well. He knew she'd be embarrassed, and the bad man in him wanted to see what effect it had on her.

'Oh, of course' Talissa stammered. She felt like she was burning up as she faced the wall. It was then she noticed the only light source in the room and she went across to look it. A longsword attached to the wall, inscribed with lines that followed and crossed over the edge of the blade. The luminous metal seemed to glow from within. She ran a finger slowly down the flat of the cold blade and the blue metal shimmered, responded to her touch.

'Do you like Starfang then?' Alistair said behind her, putting his arms round her waist.

'Starfang? You have a sword that has its own name?' She was surprised.

'That's what the Blacksmith at Soldier's Peak called it. The metal is unusual, it fell from the sky in a meteor and our group was given it as a thank you.'

Talissa turned to face him and then noticed he was still bare-chested, with only the leather trousers from his armour on. She ran a fingernail slowly down his chest to the button of his trousers and she heard him take a deep breath and he kissed her intensely as she reacted in kind.

Then Alistair pulled away from her and in a regretful tone said, 'Let's go and see what the Bitch Queen wants, shall we?'

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Alistair and Talissa were very careful to be professional at all times during normal working hours. One night he met her in the study. They didn't meet every night but it was certainly becoming a regular thing. During a gap in the conversation, he told her they were going to Denerim a day earlier this week.

'Is this by order of Queen Anora? Two days instead of one?' she asked, sat on the floor with her head resting next to his knee.

'No. Don't take this the wrong way but I think you should have some new clothes.' Alistair said, stroking her hair.

She turned to face him, her eyes narrowing in distrust. 'What? I'm not a charity case you know!' she said, a little of the fieriness that he liked in her returning.

'Hey, I never said you were, it would be nice to see you in something other than armour.' Alistair moved both his hands away from her like he'd been scalded.

She stayed silent, not sure how to reply. She had no experience when it came to men and the muddied waters of relationships seemed to her to become darker and more hazardous every time she looked.

'I'm sorry, I know that sounded rude.' she said quietly.

'It's okay, I understand what you mean.' Alistair started to rub her shoulders. She liked feeling his rough hands rubbing her skin.

'I was going to get you something new to wear. I know it's your birthday very soon and I wanted you to have a dress for an early birthday present.' He said. He noticed that her mahogany coloured hair was growing longer. He preferred her hair long. Too short and she looked very young.

'Oh I see – Hold on, how do you know it's my birthday? I've never told anyone when it is.'

He bent forward and whispered in a husky voice 'I make it my business to know things like that. Especially about you.'

She shivered. 'That makes you sound like you're following me' she said, starting to giggle.

'Aren't I? We seem to end up in the same room an awful lot.'

'That's because we work together, you fool!' she said.

'You're being finicky now.' Alistair grinned.

At that moment, the door opened and in walked Fergus.

'Bloody women!' he said, then stopped when he saw both of them talking together and Alistair massaging her shoulders.

'Oh yes? And how long has this been going on for, then?' Fergus asked with a big smile on his face.

Talissa blushed slightly as she stood up. 'Well I assume that you and Diandra have had a fight so I'll go see how she is.' She walked out of the door.

As soon as the door closed, Fergus said 'What did I just see?'

Alistair shrugged nonchalantly. 'What did you think you saw?'

'You, getting all cosy with your aide, that's what. That didn't take you long, you sly dog.' Fergus grinned.

Alistair smiled at him. 'Well, you're not as dim as you look, are you? What happened with Diandra then?'

'Zev has ruined that woman, she thinks every man is going to do the dirty on her, like him...'

* * *

Talissa closed the study door and took a deep breath. Then she heard a quiet footfall behind her. She turned and saw Edmund dressed in dark clothes steppingout of the shadow of a doorway, his eyes angry.

'That's how you've managed to move up the ranks so quickly. You bedded the Warden Commander.' Edmund clenched his fists, looking as if his anger were controlling him.

'Edmund! We work together.' Talissa was shocked by his response and he was scaring her. She'd never seen him so angry in all the time she'd known him, even before they were Grey Wardens.

'Working until this time of night? That's unlikely!' He scoffed. 'Is this why he's offered to buy you some new clothes? You're no better than his mistress or a whore.'

'It's a present, Edmund. You should know this if you were listening long enough.' Talissa said, biting back the words of anger that stuck in her throat.

'Your parents would be interested to hear this, wouldn't they? I think I should tell them. Unless...' Edmund loomed over her. He grabbed her by the top of the arms, shoving her against the wall and kissed her.

She pushed him away, slapped him and yelled 'Get off me!'

* * *

The two men in the study heard Talissa shout and ran out of the room. Edmund was stood there looking surprised with a red mark on his cheek. Fergus knew he was involved somehow but no sign of Talissa.

'Where did she go?'Alistair said angrily to Edmund.

'She ran off up that passageway.' Edmund said pointing towards the front door. Alistair chased after her.

'You better come with me. We need to talk and you can bet when the Warden Commander finds Talissa, she'll tell him what happened. I would tell the truth now, if I were you.' Fergus said to Edmund, pointing back into the study.

Talissa ran through the front door and out into the garden. She just needed to be away from the castle. She ran until she was under the boughs of a weeping willow and sat down. She couldn't believe that Edmund acted like that. He used to be her only friend when she was at Redcliffe. She put her head in her hands and wept. She felt sick, as if she'd caused this, it was all her fault. Then she heard someone running up the path near the tree. He stopped but she was scared to move in case it was Edmund following her.

'Talissa!' He yelled.

'Alistair, I'm here.' she said stepping out from under the tree.

He breathed a sigh of relief. 'I was worried about you, Tal.' he said calling her by her nickname she'd had as a child.

She walked over to him and put her arms round his chest and started to cry.

'What happened?' Alistair wrapped his arms round her.

'Edmund had been listening in on our conversation and saying I'd bedded you to get where I was. He implied he'd tell my parents unless I slept with him. That was when he kissed me and I slapped him.'

Alistair swore and stroked her head.

'As your commanding officer, I'm probably supposed to tell you off about slapping him but given the circumstances...Come on, let's go back to the castle before we get locked out. I'll deal with Edmund in the morning.'

* * *

Diandra was surprised to see Talissa come through the door, having obviously been crying. She'd thought it was Alistair who'd made her cry at first and then, when she found out what Edmund had done, Diandra had to be stopped from finding Edmund and telling him exactly what she thought.

'It really creeps me out, the fact he was eavesdropping. What else has he heard or seen even?' Diandra said later, when they'd blown the lights out.

'I know. That scared me too.' answered Talissa. The two women were silent for a time then Diandra said 'Why exactly are you going to Denerim a day early?'

'Alistair wants to buy me some clothes. He said he never sees me in anything but armour.'

Diandra started laughing.

'What's so funny?' Talissa asked.

'It's getting serious between the two of you, isn't it?' Diandra asked 'A dirty weekend.'

'It's not much of a dirty weekend, Diandra. We'll have a lot of work to get through.' Talissa wrinkled her nose up at the thought of going to the Palace and having to be polite to a group of people she knew saw her as nothing more than 'the elf'.

'What happened with you and Fergus then?' Talissa asked.

'Nothing more than a slight disagreement about sleeping with him just yet and I think it's driving him mad.' Diandra said.

'I'm sure you'll work things out.' Talissa said.

'When I sleep with him, you mean.' Diandra answered ruefully.


	7. Chapter 7

OK so this has been alot longer coming than the others and its been tweaked too. RL getting in the way. Thanks to everyone reading the story:).

**Chapter Seven**

Next morning, Edmund walked into Alistair's study as soon as he'd knocked on the door.

Alistair stood in front of the fire and appraised the young man with cold blue eyes in front of him. He didn't invite him to sit.

'Edmund.'

'Yes. _Warden Commander_.'

Alistair narrowed his eyes, knowing that the manner in which Edmund had said his title was an attempt to rile him. You pick your fights and this would be classed as a minor skirmish compared to the cause of Edmund's visit.

'I have heard from Talissa what happened last night. I would like to hear from _you_ what took place.'

'I kissed her and she slapped me.' He looked past Alistair at Mireli's portrait, as if silently imploring her intervention in this matter.

'Nothing else?' Alistair's voice was quiet yet full of steel. He leant forward, resting his hands flat on the desk. 'So you didn't call her a whore? Or eavesdrop so much you were able to quote entire lines of the conversation that Talissa and I shared?' His voice was fierce but he had to keep his fury in check.

Edmund's seemingly arrogant facade appeared to melt and he looked down shaking his head.

'I – yes, I did listen at the door last night, but she is a friend of mine and I was trying to protect her.' Edmund's usually pale face was flushed red.

Alistair walked round the desk, moving not three feet from Edmund. 'Name calling and listening into private conversations is NOT behaviour I expect from a Grey Warden and you should be ashamed. Frankly, the nature of my relationship with Talissa is not open for debate and none of your damn business. This time we will leave this matter as it stands. If you so much as put a toe out of line the Warden compounds in Orlais or the Anderfels would be thankful of an extra Warden. Understood?'

'Yes Warden Commander.' Edmund mumbled.

'No spying on_ anyone. _You're dismissed.'

* * *

Talissa was sitting in the almost empty Refectory, drinking tea and looking out of the window. Alistair promised to meet her there once his meeting was over. She didn't want the smallest possibility of bumping into Edmund. In fact, if she never ran into him again it would be too soon. She sighed and stirred more sugar into her tea.

'You don't need any more sugar, you're sweet enough.' Alistair said in a low voice as he sat down next to her.

'I don't feel very sweet at the moment.' Talissa looked at him 'You've spoken to him?'

Alistair nodded. 'I don't think you'll hear much from him somehow. Does that bother you? He said that you and he were friends.'

'He's barely had two sentences to speak to me all year. We were close when we both lived at Redcliffe.' Talissa sipped her tea.

'Ah._' _Alistair raised an eyebrow.

Talissa smiled. 'No 'Ah' about it. We were friends then, that's all. You're not _jealous_ are you?'

'Of course not.' Alistair smirked.

The rest of the day passed in a blur for them. There was a lot of work to complete before leaving for their two days in Denerim. Mid-afternoon Alistair looked up from his study chair to find Talissa staring off into the distance, looking wan. He'd not noticed how tired she was.

'Enough.' Alistair dropped the remaining loose paper on his desk back into the tray. Talissa looked uncertain. 'Anything else on my desk can wait until we get back from Denerim.'

Alistair got up from his side of the desk and held a hand out to Talissa as she got up. 'But we have to –'

'No we don't. As your commanding officer, _this' _he said, pointing at the desk, 'can wait. And before you say it, I know it's an abuse of power. Shall we go into hiding?' Alistair kissed her on the forehead.

She gave him a slow, lazy smile, replying 'What did you have in mind?'

'A walk in the fresh air, see if we can bring some colour back to your cheeks. And if that doesn't work, we'll have to come up with another idea, won't we?' Alistair grinned.

* * *

Edmund was striding back through the grounds of the castle after a training session when he saw Alistair and Talissa walking side by side through the gardens. He wasn't that close but he heard her laugh, her low, sweet laugh that made him feel his heart were fit to burst. Watching, he could see they were trying hard to avoid touching each other, although when they stopped outside the gazebo, Alistair took her hand in his, leading her inside. Edmund snorted and balled his hands into fists. He closed his eyes, resisting the urge telling him to go listen to them. He knew he'd be spotted or they would know someone tainted was nearby. He had to leave the garden. Even the sunshine mocked his mood.

* * *

The gazebo was in a quiet and secluded area of the garden. Alistair sat down and gestured for her to sit with him.

'Let's talk.' Alistair took her narrow hand in his, running a finger across the scars on her knuckles from his sword.

'Talk? Anything specific?' Talissa asked.

'Oh I don't know, politics, world affairs. Or perhaps we could get to know each other better. Ask me something, anything you want.'

'Anything? And you won't be annoyed or think I'm being nosy?'

'Anything at all.'

'What was Mireli like as a person?' Talissa wasn't sure how he'd take this question.

'Aha! The million sovereign question. She saw the good in people, where I saw what they'd done. I was too keen to judge people. She listened and was kind and wise. You've seen that picture in the study. She looked beautiful but you can't catch a personality in a picture. Mind, in case you think I've put her on a pedestal she also had a fearsome temper, especially if she thought she was in the right.' Talissa began to laugh.

'What?' Alistair asked.

'You seem to have a thing for women with bad tempers, I just found it amusing.'

'Call it a quirk of mine.' He smiled, putting his hand at the back of her neck, moving her forward to kiss her lips.

'My turn. Why did you become a Grey Warden?' Alistair queried.

Talissa bit her lip. 'I suppose I saw it as a way out. My parents are lovely people but... I was pretty lonely. I had no life outside of the shop they owned. Only one person I considered to be a friend who later backstabbed me. I couldn't see my life changing at all. If we stayed in the Alienage, as awful as that place could be at times, I fitted in there and might have had a chance at another existence.' She didn't need to say, he could read it in her eyes: marriage, a family of her own.

She tried to make her voice sound light-hearted, as she said, 'Of course, I wasn't exactly beating men off with a broom at Redcliffe, as you can imagine. As the only 'knife-ears' family in a town, you don't endear yourself easily to the shems. When Fergus came looking for recruits and saw me fight, I jumped at the chance to try as a Grey Warden. I'd heard about you and Mireli and her killing the Archdemon, sacrificing herself in the process. I was so stupidly naive with these idealistic notions in my head. I never knew that when I came here, there would be two men still grieving for her.' Talissa looked at Alistair, who was looking down.

Talissa's voice lowered and she put a hand on his arm. 'I am sorry you lost Mireli, you know. No-one should spend so long mourning for another. I don't think she would want you to continue grieving for her.'

Alistair looked at her. 'Of all the things you could have said, I didn't expect you to say that.' She heard his voice sound husky. He sighed. 'Do you know I've been happier in the last few weeks than at any other time in the last five years of my life?'

'I have something to ask you.' Talissa recognised he was being more serious by his tone of voice, so turned to look at him.

'Stay with me tonight. No pressure, I promise.' Alistair looked at her and could tell although she wanted to, she was also very scared.

'And how do I know you won't suddenly change your mind and ravish me in the night?' She grinned as she said it but Talissa was only half joking.

'You have my word, as an ex-Templar and a Grey Warden. Besides, if I can manage being in the Chantry for that long, I can certainly manage one night with you.'

'Promise?' She kissed his hand

'I promise. Just don't make me pinkie-promise. Last time I did that, Mireli nearly broke my little finger.' Talissa giggled at him.

* * *

Alistair woke in the early hours to hear crying. He could feel the bed shake. He quickly turned over and saw Talissa face down, still weeping as if she was in mourning.

'Talissa.' He stroked her back and the shirt she was wearing was cold and clammy with sweat.

He moved her onto her side, she seemed to weigh more asleep he noticed, and shook her by the shoulder, trying to drag her from her sleep. 'Wake up!'

She started to come round and sat up.

'You were dreaming-'

'I need to go.' Talissa staggered up, grabbing the chamber pot from under the bed running into the bathroom. By the sound of it, she'd just made it in time.

Alistair decided to go and lend some moral support. He lit a candle and walked into the bathroom to see Talissa wearing his shirt scrunched down next to the bath, chamber pot in hand.

'No, I don't want you to see me like this.' Talissa said breathlessly. She'd not been sick in a very long time and forgot how horrible it was.

Alistair walked up next to her and sat on the edge of the bath and gathered her hair and held onto it.

'I said -'

'I know what you said but I'm ignoring you.' Alistair smiled.

'Fine, ignore what I say and see me in the most humiliating situation ever -' She broke off as she was sick again.

He rubbed her shoulder with his free hand as she put her head against the cold of the bath.

'It's not the most humiliating situation ever, I can think of a few worse ones. And I've usually been the one who was in them. Besides, if it makes you feel any better I can hardly see anything.'

Talissa looked up at him, feeling his icy legs next to her arms. 'I think I should try to clean up and get some more sleep. Go to bed, you feel colder than I am.'

'I won't say no.'

'Were they Darkspawn dreams?' Alistair lay with his arms round her, after they'd gone back to bed.

'No...sort of.' Talissa hesitated.

'How do you mean?' He looked at her, staring off into the distance. Dawn was starting to break and there was more light in the room than before.

'I dreamt my family were killed by darkspawn. As to whether that's related to the taint, I really don't know. It seemed so real.'

'I wish I could tell you.'

'Do you still have the nightmares?'

Alistair shook his head. 'No, I've not had many since Mireli died, but I still dream about her killing the Archdemon as if I could change it.'

Talissa kissed him on the lips. 'I'm sorry, I didn't realise.'

'I didn't tell you. Or anyone.'

'We should get some sleep.' Talissa yawned.

'Do you want to hear a bedtime story?'

'A bedtime story? Just how old do you think I am?' She laughed.

'You had a nightmare and I thought you might appreciate it. Besides you're never too old to hear stories.'

Alistair kissed her cheek. 'Once upon a time, there was a young boy who lived above a stable...'

They were both asleep before he reached the end of his tale.

* * *

Talissa woke up with Alistair's arms enfolding her into his chest. She looked up and he kissed her lightly on the lips.

'Morning sleepy.' Alistair muttered.

'Morning. What time is it?'

'After dawn and before breakfast. Just.' He bent down and began to gently use his teeth against her ear.

'Alistair, I'd better go.'

'Hmm, can we not just be carried bodily into the carriage as we are?' Alistair carried on kissing her ear.

'That's not exactly subtle is it? And neither is that thing you're doing with my ear.'

'And what if I want to announce to the world 'This is what I was doing last night'?'

'Don't you mean 'who' you were doing?' His daft mood was proving infectious as she laughed.

'That too.' Alistair moved his mouth onto her neck and she moved her head to one side so he had more skin to work with as he kissed her bare neck.

She finally decided to make a move 'Enough. I have to pack and have breakfast.' Talissa reached behind him and smacked him on the backside, using his surprise to quickly get out of bed.

'Hey! That wasn't very nice.' Alistair said, following her. She had taken his shirt off and was picking up her armour when he stood behind her kissing her neck. It dawned on Talissa she had completely lost her inhibitions around Alistair, as they were both stood there in just their small clothes. She turned and said. 'One more kiss and I have to go.'

Alistair brushed the hair out of her face, 'In that case I better make it good, hadn't I?'

He kissed her with such passion that she was left in no doubt as to where his thoughts were. Alistair ran his fingers slowly down her spine, feeling her writhe and jump to his touch. Talissa's toes curled and she had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. They eventually stopped kissing, breathless but wanting to continue.

'Did that pass the test?' Alistair's eyes seemed to be shining in the early morning light.

'Go to the top of the class. Now, please help me put my armour on?'


	8. Chapter 8

Ok so I've **finally** finished Chapter 8 and this is where the rating ups to M due to sex. We have a visit from (nearly) everyone's fav bard :) and my first sex scene so be gentle with me (ohh err missus..). Its been nice seeing the story alerts so thanks to people who've added this story. Reviews are always welcome! ;)

* * *

Both Alistair and Talissa were looking forward to being together away from the castle and having no time demands on them. They travelled in the carriage to Denerim, talking most of the way. She knew she'd have to ask the question that had been playing on her mind for some time.

'When we were last in Denerim, and I saw my cousin Shianni, she told me something interesting about you.' Talissa stated.

Alistair smiled at her. 'And how is Shianni, the red head with the temper to match. I can see where you get it from.'

'You know her?' Talissa sounded shocked. 'You certainly know a lot of people I wouldn't have expected.'

'I met her once during the plague, just before the Blight struck Denerim but the plague was a front for the slavers. Shianni was the one making the noise about how it seemed suspicious. And she was right too.'

'Anyway before you distracted me, she told me you made a bid for the throne a few years ago.' Talissa said quickly, before she lost her nerve.

Alistair looked out of the window. 'Yet again this rears its very ugly head although I would have told you. My father was King Maric and my mother was a maid who died giving birth to me.' Talissa had guessed his past would not be straight forward from the talk she had with her cousin.

'You know I was raised by Arl Eamon until I was ten, when I was sent to the Chantry to train as a Templar. What I didn't tell you was when we cured the Arl, who had been poisoned by a mage in the pay of Logain Mac Tir, he suggested holding a Landsmeet. I was to be his trump card, the bastard son that no-one knew about. We would get rid of Queen Anora and her father, who was her regent at that time. Mireli could see the sense in doing this, even suggesting I marry Queen Anora. She only mentioned it once. The only person who wasn't happy with any of it, was me.' Alistair said pensively. He watched her, trying to gauge a reaction.

'I am surprised about you having royal blood but you can't change who you are. Sometimes you have to accept it and get on with the lot you've been given in life.' Talissa said, holding his hand.

Talissa saw him raise his eyebrows and look surprised. 'What's wrong?' she said, confused.

'That's what Mireli said to me too. You sounded very much like her, in fact.' Alistair said, putting a hand on her thigh.

'Mireli sounded like a very sensible woman.' Talissa replied.

'She was a very wise and beautiful woman, a description which fits you perfectly.'

* * *

'Alistair!'

The carriage had just arrived at the Gnawed Noble Tavern when Talissa heard a woman shouting. She turned in time to see a pretty red head running upto Alistair and put her arms round him in a bear hug. Talissa looked on with raised eyebrows at the scene before her.

'Leliana, it's good to see you again.' Alistair began breathlessly letting go of her.

'It's good to see you too, it's been such a long time.' Leliana's Orlesian accent was still strong. It was then Leliana noticed the young woman stood next to him.

'And who is this lovely lady you have with you? You dark horse, Alistair.'

'This is my, erm, aide.' Alistair started to go red.

Leliana giggled at his discomfort. 'Oh your _aide_, is that what they're calling it now is it? It's lovely to meet you. I'm Leliana and I used to travel with the Grey Wardens when the Blight was on.'

'I'm Talissa and I think I'm wearing your old armour.' Talissa said, for want of something better to say. She's going to think I'm a right nutter, Talissa thought. Yet she liked the bard and thought she was utterly charming.

'I think you are and it fits you much better than it did me. Come, let's go eat and you can tell me exactly how well you know this man and I'll tell you some embarrassing stories about him.' Leliana put her arm through Talissa's and led her through the door.

Alistair followed, shaking his head.

* * *

They had a boozy lunch, talking about the past and what they were doing now. When Leliana offered to take Talissa out shopping, they accepted as neither Alistair nor Talissa knew where to go for clothes. Alistair went out for a walk while the girls went shopping. Talissa was under strict orders to get a dress that looked smart and something for everyday wear plus a pair of shoes that would go with both if possible.

After seeing what the dressmaker had in the part-made items, Talissa found the perfect long dress in purple silk, with open shoulders in the elven style. It should have been picked up weeks earlier but the owner had left Denerim, not to return for a long time. It fitted Talissa exactly with no alterations necessary, as if it had been made for her. While they were trying to find a dress for everyday, Leliana started questioning her in earnest.

'So Talissa, how long have you and Alistair been seeing each other?' Leliana asked her.

Talissa blushed red. 'Is it that obvious? About a month but we're just taking it slowly at the moment.'

'Oh yes, I know Alistair and he's very keen on you but I don't think you'll be taking it slowly when he sees you in that dress.' Leliana giggled. 'Has he told you much about Mireli?'

'He's told me something about her personality but I can tell it's still a sensitive subject for him.'

'She was a lovely person though she had a bit of a temper. I think you and she would have been friends. In fact, Mireli visited me in my dreams last night.' Talissa looked in surprise at Leliana.

'She told me I would see Alistair today and she mentioned your name. Mireli had a message for you. She asked me to tell you not to be afraid, that things will be the way they are supposed to be.'

'What does that mean?' Talissa was baffled by her statement.

'I have no idea. I was hoping you'd know.' Leliana unhooked a green velvet dress from the rail. 'Ah ha, what about this dress?'

* * *

That night, Talissa dressed in her room for dinner. She wore the purple dress and shoes. Looking at herself in the mirror not only did she look more mature, she felt like a totally different person than she had, even earlier that day.

At that moment, there was a knock on her door.

'Come in.'

'I'm here to see if, if...' Alistair's gaze fell to her shoulders and then descended.

'Alistair, is there a problem?'

He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked in that dress. Within two steps, he was across the floor and had kissed her full on the lips.

'There's no problem, I was just thinking how much I love that dress but I think it would look better on my bedroom floor.' Alistair whispered. Talissa looked at him and at first he thought she would bolt.

'In that case, tonight is your lucky night.' She replied, winking at him.

Alistair gave a low throaty laugh and he looked at her as if she were the main course for the night. He grabbed her wrist and pulled Talissa across the corridor to his room, where he had a double bed. He kissed her hard, exploring her mouth with his tongue. Then he forced himself to stop kissing her, concern in his eyes.

'I want you to be absolutely sure you want this. You can't get it back –'

She put a finger to his lips to quiet him. 'I can't but believe me when I say that every time you've kissed me lately, all I've wanted is for you to bed me. After last night, I know this is right. I want you to be the person I lose my virginity to.'

'In that case, turn around.' He began to try to unlace the dress that she had spent time fastening up and after fumbling with it a few times, it eventually became loose enough for her to take off. She took it down over her body and hips and it lapped at her feet like a pool of purple silk.

'Makers breath, you are beautiful.' He said, as he walked in front of her. His eyes appreciatively took in her body in her underwear, usually kept so well armoured from view.

Talissa walked over to him. 'Your turn.'

She yanked his shirt out from the top of his trousers. Talissa had seen his muscular torso before but this seemed different. She was taking notice of everything, every mole and the hardness of his muscles on his arms and chest. She ran her fingernails down his chest, not scratching but it had an effect as she saw him close his eyes, a half-smile playing on his lips. Once his shirt was off, Talissa went down on her knees and began to unlace him. Even though he was still partially clothed, the hardness of his length through his trousers was obvious. When she had taken them down, Talissa rubbed him through his small clothes, feeling his response to her fingers. She then stood up and grinned at Alistair.

'Tease.' He muttered hoarsely. He kissed her and she could feel that he was burning hot all over and she pushed herself against his body. His breathing became shallow as she ran her fingers over his torso, using the pads of her fingers on one of his nipples.

Alistair led her to the bed and they lay kissing each other. She could feel his hands settling on her breasts, still under material. He used a thumb and each of her nipples hardened. She turned her back to him and asked him to undo her bra. He quickly had it unfastened, taking it off. He needed no hints. Alistair began to use his tongue and teeth on her rigid nipples. She lost herself in the feeling of his mouth on her and moaned. He lay between her legs and she could feel his length pressing against her leg.

Alistair knelt between her legs and pulled her knickers off. Talissa gave him a curious look and he smiled and said 'I want to make sure you get pleasure from your first time.' He began kissing between her thighs, his kisses trailing to her core. She felt his touch between her legs and gasped. He put one finger inside of her and began to kiss and suck between her legs and within a very short time her back arched, nipples became hard and it was all she could do from yelling.

Alistair laughed and dragged her to the edge of the bed. He took his remaining clothes off and she could feel him rubbing his length just inside of her.

'Are you sure?' Alistair asked.

Talissa became so frustrated with him, she nearly screamed. 'Yes!' was all she managed to say. He needed no further confirmation, thrusting inside her. Her breath seemed to be knocked out of her, the pain was so startling but he pushed past that and it soon ebbed away. She understood that although the pain was still there, it was adding an extra element to their desire. When Talissa pushed towards he let out a feral growl. She didn't think that what she did could affect him like this so she moved herself towards him, caught in the rhythm of his movements. Within a short time she saw him roll his eyes and groan, thrusting himself into her as hard as he could and he leant forward and she felt him throb as he came inside her.

'Well, that was unexpected. Are you sure that was your first time?' Alistair leaned over her and dragging himself back on the bed next to her, a slight smirk on his lips.

'It was. Don't you believe me?' Talissa wanted to laugh at his questioning.

'Perhaps it was quicker than I expected. It's been a while since I slept with anyone.' Alistair looked at her, her eyes large.

'Well, perhaps we should practice more?' She smiled at him, surprised at his honesty.

'Oh my, what _have_ I started? Does this mean you'll be jumping on my bones at every available opportunity from now on?'He laughed a low laugh and kissed her lips.

'I might, though I think I won't be the only one.'

'Did it hurt?' Alistair's voice took on a more serious tone as he stroked her hair away from her face.

'At first, but it became less painful.' She said kissing him on the lips.

'Good. As long as I didn't hurt you.'

'By the way that was one cheesy chat up line. Where did you get that one?' Talissa grinned.

'Oh did you like it? That's an ex-chantry boy special, that is.' Alistair put his arm round her bringing her closer to him.

'Alistair, are you happy with this?'

'With us sleeping together you mean? More than happy. And I don't want this to be a one-off either.' He said kissing her neck. 'So how about a repeat performance? If you're not too sore that is.'

'I think I can just about manage that. Besides I think the soreness adds a bit of spice to it.'

* * *

The following day was pretty eventful as her first day as his aide. She found the day quite stressful but was starting to get an idea of what the job entailed. Almost as soon as they finished at the Palace, Alistair pulled the blinds down on the carriage windows and they started kissing on the way back to the Inn as she sat straddling his legs. Yet again, the night went the same way as the previous night had. They ordered room service, which was delivered by Edna, leaving hurriedly when she saw a bare-chested Alistair. When they'd exhausted each other, they lay covered in sweat, Talissa, with her head on his chest.

'I'm not the same person you met nearly a year ago.' Talissa suddenly said.

'Neither am I. I feel like I'm closer to where I was before Mireli died. I'm more mature than I was then but I've loosened up a bit.' Alistair said. 'I have you to thank for that. I needed to stop letting grief and duties take over my life.'

'What happens when we get back to Highever?' Talissa looked at Alistair.

'Whatever you want. I'm not going to force you to sleep with me.' Alistair said, looking at the elf. 'I know this was a big step for you, for us as well.'

'Who said I didn't want to sleep with you?' she smiled.

'Well in that case, you're invited into my bedroom whenever you feel like it.' Alistair nibbled an ear.

'Just to play with your longsword though.' She grinned.

'Oh, of course,'

* * *

When Talissa got back to the castle next day, she felt like she'd been away for months and everything had changed. In reality, she was the one who'd changed.

'Did you two have fun?'Diandra said as Talissa walked in the bedroom with her bag and put it on the bed.

'It was good.' Talissa said smiling.

'Oh yes, I know that look. Are you sure there's nothing else to report?' Diandra said suspiciously.

'There might be. Put it this way, I didn't see my own bed.' Talissa said with a huge grin.

'Ha! I knew it, congratulations,' she said hugging her. 'Ok so I will admit I was wrong about you and Alistair.'

'Thanks Di'

'Let's have a look at the new dress then.' She said.

Diandra raised her eyebrows when she saw the dress. 'Wow, that's gorgeous. Did he pick that?'

'No Leliana helped me choose it.'

'Oh, the Bard. I've heard Zev talk about her. What's she like?' asked an interested Diandra. Talissa began to talk about Leliana and some of the things she'd been told by her.

'Well,' said Diandra, looking at the dress 'At least you have an event to wear it to. There's a formal evening on Thursday. They're inviting some of the women of Highever town to balance the numbers so at least we won't be the only women there. I'll have to dig my best dress out. I can't have you upstaging me on Thursday.'

* * *

Later that night Talissa and Alistair were in his room, lit by the blue of the sword.

'Thursday' Talissa stated.

'As I understand it, it's the day before Friday'.

'Oh very droll, Ser Warden Commander.' she said, sticking her tongue out at him.

'What about Thursday? Or is it this Thursday you're being more specific about?' he said knowingly.

'This formal event. Do we pretend that we barely know each other and try to avoid one another all evening? Or-'

'Do I go in with you on my arm and have everyone talk about what a lucky man I am to have such a gorgeous woman with me?' Alistair said, finishing her sentence.

'Is that what you want to do? Let the rest of the castle know you're no longer single?' she said, searching his face for some hesitation or rejection. Alistair stroked her cheek as they watched each other.

'Of course it is. I'm happy with you, do you know that? I was turning into an old man before you came along.' He said.

She smiled at him and put her head on his chest.

'So here's the big relationship question. We're going to a formal dance. Can the Warden Commander dance or will I have to seek out other dance partners for the evening?' she asked.

'I can't dance, unfortunately so you may have to. As long as you come back and see me sometime during the evening, I don't mind.'

'Oh don't worry, I'll wave as I go by.'


	9. Chapter 9

I better warn you - this chapter is possibly the last schmaltzy, fluffy, chapter for awhile. Not saying _why_ of course :).

* * *

On Thursday evening, Fergus and Alistair stood outside the doors leading to the Great Hall. Alistair appreciated he was very nervous, something he'd not been since the first Formal, held at Highever four years earlier.

Fergus hit him on the arm and said 'No worries mate, the evening will be a success.' Both the men were dressed in best suits and leather boots. They felt ill at ease in suits due to the amount of time they spent in armour.

'I'm sure they'll be down soon. Andraste's holy knickers! Look!' Fergus said in surprise. Walking towards them both was Diandra and Talissa. Diandra wore a black and silver silk dress and her curly black hair was worn loose, curling down her back. Talissa wore the purple dress and shoes with a silver necklace borrowed from Diandra, and her hair up in a pleat with a few hairs curling down both sides of the face.

Alistair was agape. He knew she'd look beautiful but he was surprised at how elegant she looked

'I take it I pass the inspection then, Warden Commander?' Talissa said quietly.

'You look absolutely incredible, do you know that?' he whispered, stroking her along the jawline with one finger.

'You look pretty amazing yourself, sweetheart.'

'Shall we go in?' Fergus asked all of them.

Talissa put her hand in Alistair's and they walked into the large Hall. This had been decorated in wreaths of red cloth that day. It contrasted well with the grey of the stone floor.

The group found a table and a castle servant came over to them with drinks as they watched the hall begin to fill up. There were a lot of women there that Talissa assumed were from Highever town. Although no-one said anything directly, Talissa knew she and Alistair were getting curious looks and she caught the occasional 'knife-ears' comment. That awful stereotype and she was back in Redcliffe as a teenager being teased by the locals for being an elf. At least in the Alienage everyone was the same.

She closed her eyes, feeling very vulnerable. 'Talissa, what's the matter?' Alistair said, concern colouring his voice.

'I'm...fine.' She tried to smile at him but they both knew it was a sham.

Diandra touched her arm and asked if she wanted to go for a walk round the hall. Talissa agreed too eagerly, Alistair noticed.

* * *

'What happened at the table? You went pale.' Diandra put her arm through Talissa's once they had moved out of earshot from the men.

'I heard some bitching about me and Alistair. The phrase 'knife-ears' is never used as a term of endearment.' Talissa replied, looking around at some of the women who were muttering to their friends and throwing angry looks her way. If looks could kill she'd have poisoned daggers in her back by now, she thought.

'Talissa, don't let this spoil your night. It's jealousy on their part.' Diandra saw the apprehension in her friend's face. 'Every year, Alistair gets chatted up by at least one woman from the town desperate to go to bed with the Warden Commander. Every year, he turns them down - flat.'

'Oh, I didn't know.' Talissa said, surprised.

Andrew, one of the younger Wardens, who had been Joined a few months earlier, walked upto them.

He blanked Diandra and said to Talissa, 'Well hello. So tell me something about yourself. Where do you live?'

'Highever Castle.' Talissa answered, thinking Andrew was acting very strangely towards her.

'Is that so? Why have I never noticed someone as pretty as you here before. Do you work here?' He asked in a voice he hoped was seductive and in reality was greasy.

'Yes. For the Warden Commander.' Talissa replied, realising he didn't have a clue who she was.

'The Warden Commander? That job is already being done by –' He was utterly confused.

'Did someone mention my name?' A familiar voice appeared behind Talissa.

'They certainly did.' Diandra smirked at Alistair's good timing.

As if on cue, the music started up.

'Would you care to dance, Talissa?' Alistair said, holding his hand out to her.

'I would love to, Alistair.' Talissa took the proffered hand.

Andrew watched open mouthed as Alistair led Talissa onto the dance floor.

'Hey! She called him Alistair to his face!' Andrew said to Diandra finally.

'Don't be dense, Andrew.' Diandra said, trying not to roll her eyes.

'Oh! I get it now.' said Andrew as it dawned on him what was going on.

* * *

'I thought you said you couldn't dance?' Talissa said to Alistair putting her arms round his neck as they began to move slowly round the floor.

'I couldn't when we talked about it,' Alistair said playfully. 'I had lessons'.

'Oh yes? From who?' Talissa's eyes narrowed as she tried to work out who would have given him dance lessons.

'I'm not telling.' Alistair smiled at her confusion.

'I have ways of finding out, you know...' she said whispering.

'Ha! If you're sober enough that is.' Alistair kissed her.

'You do know we're being watched.' She said, glancing at the faces watching at the side of the floor.

'Let them, I don't care about that.' He said kissing her again.

* * *

Across the other side of the room, a young man watched the woman he'd loved for years, kissing another man. He knew he'd ruined his friendship with her, totally and irretrievably. When they'd lived in the same town he'd had a go at all the locals who had insulted her and her family. This had earned him a reputation as an 'elf-lover'. Yet he still loved her and when he found out that she was due to become a Grey Warden, decided to go out of his way to show his sword skills to Fergus as well. He was accepted easily enough and both of them survived the Joining where others died. Now she _has_ to like me, he thought at the time. Unfortunately, they had a major fight on the way to Highever after the Joining, and their friendship deteriorated. He didn't have the life skills to deal with a woman's temper, especially as one as changeable as she was. Everything he tried, the teasing, the little jibes, none of them were meant seriously but she always took them the wrong way or she ignored them.

Then he heard about her new job, how she was spending a lot of time with the Warden Commander. When he heard a few rumours about her coming out of his office very late at night he became sick with jealousy, obsessed. He followed her, listening in at doors and watching them together. It was obviously more than just a working relationship. He had confronted her, all he wanted was for her to listen to what he had to say but it went wrong. He would never have told her parents but as he was holding her he _had_ to kiss her. After she'd ran off and in the talks he'd had with Alistair and Fergus, it was made clear to him that he wouldn't be able to even breathe in her direction again. He began to burn with rage against the man who had stolen his woman from him. There had to be something to get her back, he thought.

* * *

When they came off the dance floor, Alistair and Talissa sat at the table, his arm around the back of her chair.

'Thank you.' Talissa said so quietly, he wasn't sure he had heard correctly.

'For what?' Alistair replied.

'For learning to dance. You didn't do that because you wanted to.' Talissa said looking into his blue eyes.

'How very perceptive of you, I'm going to have to watch this mind reading ability of yours, aren't I?' He smiled at the woman in front of him.

'Where did you learn to dance anyway?' Alistair asked curiously.

'Oh, my sister taught me. The servants used to watch the dancing and she learnt to dance and showed me next time she came home.'

'So the dance lessons worked, hmm?' Zevran said as he sat down at the table.

'How do you know about the dance lessons, Zev?' Talissa asked looking bewildered. Alistair was giving Zevran the evil eye over her shoulder.

'Because, my dear lady I was the one who gave him lessons. The whores taught me when I was young.' Zevran smiled as Talissa started to laugh. Meanwhile, Alistair was not impressed.

'Let me get this right. _Zevran_ taught you how to dance? 'Talissa looked at Alistair and shook her head in disbelief.

'Some bloody secret, Zev!' Alistair was annoyed with him. He should have known that at the first chance he'd get Zevran would tell people.

'And may I say how beautiful you look tonight, Talissa?' Zevran leant forward and kissed her hand.

'And may I say how you know how to lay the charm on, Zevran.' Talissa said, while Alistair chuckled, 'However the original compliment is appreciated.' She grinned.

'What I want to know is, which one of you led?' Talissa began giggling again at the thought of the two men dancing with each other.

* * *

At six the following morning, Alistair and Talissa were awakened by banging on his bedroom door.

'I know what this will be' Alistair groaned sleepily and pulled his trousers on.

'Sorry ser, but your aide wasn't in her room and I have an urgent message from the Queen that needs to be signed and returned with the messenger immediately.' The guard seemed flustered.

Talissa giggled under the covers about not being able to find his aide. The bed was behind the door and out of view.

'Very well, let me get a shirt on and I'll come with you.'

Alistair went with the guards and was back about ten minutes later.

Talissa had started to drift back to sleep when she was woken up by a freezing cold hand on her back. She screamed as he laughed at her response.

'Alistair, what on earth did you do that for?' she reprimanded, hitting him on the arm.

'Oww! I bruise easily, you know.' He said smirking as he got into bed next to her. 'Anyway, I thought you might, you know, warm me up?' He raised an eyebrow suggestively at her and wrapped his arms around her lithe form.

'You're incorrigible, you know. I take it bedwarmer is another thing to add to my list of duties as aide then?' She queried, as she lay in his arms.

'Of course. Mind I would do the same for you. I'd like to think I'd do it because I love you, not because I had to.' Oh no, he thought. That wasn't the way I wanted to tell her.

Talissa felt like she'd been slapped. She moved out of his arms and sat on the edge of the bed then went to the bathroom and locked the door. Smoothly done, Alistair thought as he hit his forehead with the heel of his palm. He sighed and got out of bed.

'Talissa, tell me what's wrong? I don't want to talk through a door.' Alistair said, banging on the bathroom door. He knocked again and then the door opened. She stood there, her arms flattening her breasts, her eyes luminous.

'I didn't know that was how you felt, Alistair. Perhaps what Edmund said has warped the way I thought you viewed me.' She said hesitantly.

'You thought I saw you as my mistress?' Alistair stroked the top of her arm. She was sure it wasn't just the cold giving her goose bumps. 'That's the last thing I see you as.'

'I love you too Alistair. I just didn't want to say anything in case you didn't feel that way about me.' Talissa moved forward into his arms and he held her tightly to his chest.

'Glad to hear it.' Alistair said, as he kissed the top of her head. 'Now we know where we are, can we go back to bed? I'm freezing stood here in the buff!'

* * *

A while later Talissa was sat having a bath in Alistair's bathroom.

'Would madam care for me to wash her back?' Alistair leant on the door frame watching her and was talking in a creepy butler voice.

'Madam would indeed. In fact she is finding this bath rather large by herself. Perhaps Ser would care to join her?' Talissa smirked and winked at him.

'Wouldn't say no.' Alistair climbed in behind Talissa, legs either side of her body. He started to wash her back and shoulders, moving upto her neck with the tips of his fingers and began stroking the nape of her neck. She wriggled her body next to his and leant her head forward. He began to kiss her neck and could tell from her breathing that she liked his exploration of her. She pushed into him with the small of her back and he hitched his breath.

'So tell me, have you ever had sex in a bath before?' Talissa turned to face him and to lick his nipples.

'No, never.' He whispered, feeling her tongue moving lower.

'So how about a first time for both of us?'

Later on, when they'd had a proper bath, Talissa was brushing her damp hair in front of the mirror, wearing Alistair's shirt.

'I've just realised, I don't have my clothes with me, except that dress. I'll have to do the walk of shame through Highever.' Talissa smiled at his reflection through the mirror, as he sat behind watching her. He was sat with just a sheet wrapped round his midriff.

'The walk of shame?' Alistair looked puzzled. 'What's that?'

'My sister told me. After any big events at Redcliffe Castle, there would be a lot of people sneaking around next morning in the clothes they'd worn the previous night.' She smiled. 'That's what the servants called it because it was obvious what they'd been upto.'

Alistair smiled and said 'In that case there will be a few people doing that this morning. Diandra being one of them I bet. Fergus and her left early, didn't they?'

'About time too.' Talissa said as she grinned and got up from the mirror.

'I better get dressed anyway, if I'm to get to work on time. My boss is a real tyrant and who knows _what_ he'd do if I was late!' Talissa said laughing as Alistair moved to grab her.

'I would be surprised if he kept his hands off you, especially if he knew what you'd been upto in the bath...' Alistair kissed her.

'Well I better get that dress on and start walking. See you in work boss!'

* * *

Talissa opened the door to Alistair's room and started walking down the passage of bedrooms. Suddenly, a door opened further down. Talissa resisted the urge to hide in a doorway, especially when she saw who it was.

'Oh yes, what were _you_ upto last night?' Talissa said walking stealthily behind Diandra. She still wearing her black dress. Diandra jumped, turned round and breathed a sigh of relief.

'Talissa! The same as you, judging by how crumpled that dress is.' Diandra began to laugh, her hair looking more like a shaggy mane than the crowning glory of curls it had been the previous night.

'Come on, it's time for us to walk the walk.' Talissa put her arm through her friend's and walked back to their room.


	10. Chapter 10

Well I better put an Angst warning on this chapter. As usual reviews are welcome :)

* * *

Over the next few months, Talissa and Alistair tried their best to keep their professional and private lives separate, although they didn't always succeed. The rest of the castle seemed to have accepted their relationship and within a short time no-one responded to see them together. One morning, when she'd arrived at his study, Alistair was looking out of the window and didn't seem to hear her come in.

'Morning.' Talissa said, before realising he was not his usual self. He'd been fine when she'd left him in bed that morning. Then she noticed a cream envelope on his desk, with her name written in sharp calligraphy. She turned the envelope over to open it and noticed the seal. The Royal seal. She gulped.

'What's this about Alistair? I don't understand...' her voice trailed off.

'Read it.' Alistair said dispassionately, barely turning to see her.

Sitting down, she picked up the letter opener and slit the envelope. Inside was an invitation for her to have an audience with the Queen about a 'personal matter' on the day they were going to Denerim for a meeting with Empress Celene's envoy. On Alistair's side of the desk, a similar envelope with his name on it had already been opened.

'I take it this never happened to Alex.' She said flatly.

He leant his hands against the wall and put his head forward between his arms.

'Aides never have meetings with the queen directly.' Alistair said between clenched teeth 'Someone has said something about us being together.'

'Who would do such a thing?' Talissa put her head in her hands. 'We should never have let our emotions get in the way of our duty as Grey Wardens, Alistair.' She whispered.

'NO!' his voice cracked. 'Never say that. This was meant to happen.'

She began to cry, racking sobs and he came and put his arms round her, held her until the crying subsided. Talissa couldn't believe her happiness seemed to have shattered like glass.

'We'll get through this, I promise.' Alistair kissed her on the forehead. 'Come on, let's get out of here. I don't think either of us can concentrate much at the moment.' Alistair led Talissa out of her chair and to the door.

They walked round the gardens, feeling the sun's warmth radiating from Highever windows. Alistair led Talissa to a secluded gazebo and once they'd sat down, he said, 'I haven't been totally truthful with you about why Anora and I hate each other.' Alistair put his hands together and stared at them, avoiding her gaze.

'Oh, I knew about Mireli suggesting you marry her. So what is it that you've not told me? You were Anora's lover in another life?' Talissa smiled warily, hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way.

'Oh Makers breath, I hope not.' He chuckled.

'Everything changed at the Landsmeet, the one that Arl Eamon called to announce they'd found a hidden bastard son of Maric's. I'm surprised there weren't other bastards they found.' He tried to smile but it felt false. 'I told you that her father Loghain Mac Tir was Anora's regent at the time of the Landsmeet. She told Mireli that she thought her father was starting to lose the plot. Mireli always did see the good in others, which is why we ended up with such an eclectic band of individuals. She was usually right about people. Anyway, Anora got Mireli on her side to support her as queen. Mireli knew I didn't want to rule, even if it meant having her as my queen. So I was pleased when she told me about the plan.'

'Then came the Landsmeet, and Loghain was there. I hated that man with a passion. He killed many who were at the Battle of Ostagar, including a Grey Warden called Duncan who I almost considered to be my father. Mireli and I were supposed to be lighting a beacon for Loghain's troops to attack and we nearly died at that forsaken tower. Loghain pulled his troops out, which left everyone on the field with no back up. He killed King Cailan my half-brother and Duncan as surely as if he'd stabbed them himself, among hundreds of others. I could not forgive him and when he challenged Mireli to a fight at the Landsmeet, I told her I would take her place. She knew how much I wanted him dead but knew I had to finish this to close the chapter. Loghain and I fought and as a younger man, I beat him. When it came time for his surrender, Anora suggested a compromise. She suggested he become a Grey Warden, possibly dying at the Joining but it would give him a chance at life. Mireli thought it was a good plan but I was furious. I took her to another room and we argued, the first time we'd really argued about anything serious. She knew she might lose me so she eventually backed down. I went back into that Landsmeet and gave him one chance to say his goodbyes to Anora and-' Alistair stopped, he felt sick at the thought of what he had to say.

'I slit his throat. That's mainly why Anora hates me and I can't say I blame her.' He pictured Loghain's blood running across the floor, dark red and Mireli bending down next to him, closing his eyes as a mark of respect for a fellow warrior. He at least deserved that, she'd said later.

Talissa held his hand in hers and leant against him. She'd never seem him so disconcerted.

'If this had been the Alistair of now, I would have given the man a chance, let him take the Joining. But I was a young man, sickened by war and Blight and bitter that Duncan never had a chance to go to Orzammar as he wanted to.'

'When you meet Queen Anora she is a skilled politician, a beautiful yet bitter and lonely woman. She will never marry again unless it is a politically viable marriage. On our first meeting alone after making me Warden Commander at Arl Eamon's behest, she bluntly told me she wished that Mireli had lived and it had been me who had died killing the Archdemon. I told her I also wished for the same thing. I was heartsick at the time. Anora never mentioned it again.' Alistair looked at Talissa, looking concerned for him.

'So now you know, Tal.' Alistair sighed.

'I know you're not proud of what happened with Loghain but you have to stop being ashamed about this. You're not the same person you were then.' Talissa said.

'Of all the people we killed, his was the only death I wish I could have undone. The others were for a reason.' Alistair put his arm round Talissa.

'I wish I could take this from you, sweetheart.' She whispered reaching up to kiss him. He responded and they began to kiss long and hard, each desperate for the other. No words were spoken as Alistair took her hand and led her back to his room.

* * *

On the ride down to Denerim, both of them were quiet, lost in their own thoughts. They had agreed to tell the truth about their relationship because Queen Anora would likely know the truth or a variation of it. As they went through the gates of the Royal Palace, Alistair squeezed Talissa's hand and told her not to worry. He felt guilty for her involvement but he knew he wanted to be with Talissa as much as she wanted to be with him.

When they arrived at the steps of the Royal Palace, she smoothed down the velvet of her long green dress as she got out of the carriage. Talissa was due to see the Queen before Alistair.

'Remember its 'Your Majesty' and she likes the women to curtsey on the way in and out of the Reception rooms. You'll be fine, I know.' Alistair whispered to her as they walked up the marble stairs to the double doors.

'Yes, Warden Commander.' Protocol at all times. It felt like a farce, like they were acting in a play. Now was the time to face her audience.

Alistair turned to his left and walked to the anterooms Talissa usually shared with her fellow aides, while she took the long walk to the queen's reception rooms.

'This way, miss.' The butler said after looking at the card, as he motioned towards the white and gold doors. He opened the doors and told her to wait as he walked in.

'Your Majesty, we have Talissa the Grey Warden to see you.' she heard him say.

'Send her in, Edwards.' Anora's voice sounded prickly.

'You may go in now, Miss.'

Talissa took a deep breath and began the walk down the white carpet leading across the room. She saw a beautiful golden-haired woman, whose hair shone in the afternoon light. Although young, Queen Anora began to look as if her life experiences had started to age her.

'Talissa.' Queen Anora said, pronouncing it as if it were a hiss.

Talissa curtseyed, and said 'Your Majesty.'

The queen turned to her aides and ladies in waiting and dismissed them, asking for tea from the closest lady.

'Talissa, come and talk to me. It has been an age since I spoke to a Grey Warden who was not Alistair.' Anora pointed at a seat close to her as she smiled and Talissa sat down. She felt very vulnerable in her company, like a mouse being watched by a semi-alert cat.

'So tell me Talissa, how does an elf from the Alienage come to be Joined as a Grey Warden?' Queen Anora looked her directly in the eyes as if trying to weigh her up. Talissa was taken aback by her candour.

'My family moved to Redcliffe some years ago and it was there I was found by Teryn Cousland about eighteen months ago.' Talissa replied, as the tea was brought in. Anora poured a cup for each of them and handed one to Talissa. For politeness' sake she pretended to sip the tea.

'Ah Fergus, yes. And this was only eighteen months ago you say? Truly, you must have some skill in your chosen area to have moved up the ranks the way you have.' Anora looked at Talissa in an unblinking stare, as if challenging her to a duel.

'I am not sure what Your Majesty is trying to imply.' Talissa stammered. She felt her heart hammering in her chest.

'Come now. As women let us be honest with each other, shall we? We both know that King Maric's sons are at their best when they have a woman to dote upon. I have heard about your _relationship _with Alistair. Neither of you have exactly been discreet, have you?' Anora put her tea cup down on the table. 'We also know that this sort of dalliance is not good for the Warden Commander's career or for the country. I would think on this before you bed him next.' Anora muttered the last sentence so the guards couldn't hear, although muttering the steel in her voice noticeable by Talissa.

'I think we have talked enough. Thank you for this pleasant talk. It has been most _enlightening_.'

'Yes, Your Majesty.' Talissa said, as she stood to take her leave.

'Oh and send Alistair in if you should see him. Which I'm sure you will.' Anora said, as Talissa reached the door.

Talissa had to ignore the urge to turn tail and run.

* * *

Alistair saw Talissa walking towards him down the corridor. He grasped that the meeting had not gone well. Talissa's eyes were luminous with unshed tears. He looked at her and touched her arm with the back of his hand as she walked past. He really wanted to stop and comfort her but that would be frowned upon in the hierarchy of court life. He hated all this fakery.

As he reached the door, Edwards the butler asked him to wait there.

'The Warden Commander to see you, Your Majesty.'

'Very well Edwards.'

'You may go in Warden Commander, ser.'

'Thank you Edwards.' replied Alistair as he strode through the door.

'Ah Alistair, how lovely of you to come and see me.' Queen Anora said, her voice dripping sarcasm.

'Queen Anora. I was surprised to receive a personal summons to court for both myself and my aide, when I was already coming to discuss strategy plans with Empress Celene's ambassador.' Alistair could feel himself getting angry with her.

'Really Alistair, how _crass_ of you. No 'And how are you on this glorious afternoon, Your Majesty?' I was just coming to my reasons for bringing you here.' Anora seemed to get pleasure from baiting him. 'Very well, seeing as you are determined to bring this up immediately, I understand your relationship with Talissa is more than that of just an aide.' Alistair refused the seat that was offered to him, and stood close by instead.

'Seeing as you obviously know so much, I'm not going to deny the truth.' Alistair replied in a flat tone.

'I was sent a letter by someone at Highever, informing me of your relationship. I believe that your superiors at Weisshaupt would also be most interested in this little arrangement of yours.' Anora put her hands in her lap and watched the man in front of her begin pacing the floor like a caged animal.

'Someone from Highever told you?' Alistair asked in a surprised tone, trying to ignore her supposedly empty jibe about the Warden headquarters. 'And may I ask who sent the letter?'

'You may ask but I am not willing to tell you. That is for you to find out , to have control over your Wardens.' Anora sighed. 'Let us get to business. Your relationship with Talissa, both of us know it is not good for you to have this elf as your mistress.'

Alistair clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. 'She is _not_ my mistress. And if someone has an issue with her being an elf that is their problem, not ours.'

'Alistair, you just do not seem to understand. I personally do not _care_ who you take to your bed but the Orlesians do have concerns with the elves. They treat them much more like slaves than we Fereldens do.' Anora shook her head. 'If they were to find out that the Commander of the Grey Wardens of all Ferelden was bedding an elf...' Anora left the line trailing.

'You are saying that by sleeping with Talissa, I could be putting our negotiations with Orlais at risk?' Alistair was incredulous.

'Finally you understand, yes.' Anora looked at him sadly. 'I am sorry to have to ask you this but you have a week to decide what is more important: Your job as Warden Commander or this relationship with Talissa. Choose wisely and don't let your heart rule your head, I would be sorry to lose you as Warden Commander.'

'Very well Your Majesty. You'll excuse me from this afternoons meeting with the ambassador, I am sure.' Alistair felt sick to his stomach. Of all the outcomes he was expecting, this was not it.

'You're excused.'

* * *

Later on in the inn, Alistair and Talissa were talking about the day's events. Both of them had been shocked by the Queen's words.

'Alistair.' Talissa said quietly as she sat next to him on the sofa in their room.

'Yes?' Alistair said, his arms wrapped around Talissa.

'You know what you have to do.' Talissa said trying not to cry. 'I can't have you giving up everything for me. It wouldn't be right.'

'No! I told you, I'm not giving you up. 'Alistair said fiercely. 'At the end of the day, it's a job and a fancy title. You are worth so much more to me than that.'

Talissa began to cry. Alistair lifted her chin and began to kiss the tears on her face.

The carriage pulled up at Highever Castle and Alistair and Talissa alighted. They went their separate ways, Talissa to her bedroom and Alistair to his study. They both needed to think about their situation. Alistair thought he was going mad. He wanted to be with Talissa but he felt he was letting everyone else down if he gave up his job.

* * *

In the evening, Talissa came to see Alistair. He was sat on his chair staring into the fire and didn't even notice Talissa come in.

'Hey.' Talissa said, standing by his chair.

'Oh I didn't see you standing there.' Alistair said, looking up at her. 'Fancy sitting on my knee?'

She sat across his lap and put her arm round his shoulders.

'Remember whatever happens this week, I love you.' She whispered, kissing his forehead.

'I love you too.' Alistair looked perplexed. 'What's brought this on, Talissa?'

She smiled 'Oh I don't know, I've spent too long thinking today, that's all.'

'Enough thinking. We need to do something else with our evening.'

* * *

Next morning, Alistair woke up and stretched his arm across the bed. Instead of finding a warm woman next to him, the bed was cold. He sat up and looked around. None of her clothes were there. Then he saw it. The piece of parchment on her pillow. He read the note and felt sick. He jumped out of bed, dressed and he ran as fast as he could do to her bedroom and banged on the door. There was no-one there so he walked in. Everything that belonged to her was gone. He put his head in his hands and knelt on the ground next to her bed. Maker, what had he brought on them both?

* * *

_NB: I am not sure how much control the Queen would honestly have over the Warden Commander of Ferelden but I think she is a bit of a control freak. She may even be jealous, strange lady that she is. :)_


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks to all the readers, reviewers and lurkers. You know who you all are :)_

_

* * *

_

'Shianni!' A male voice, vaguely familiar caused her to turn round.

'Grey Warden.' Shianni watched the ex-royal bastard of Ferelden walk towards her, a second man by his side. She never expected to see Alistair in the Alienage again. He looked exhausted, she noticed.

'Shianni, sorry to bother you but I really need to know if you've seen your cousin Talissa lately? She's gone missing from Highever and we're trying to find her.' Alistair indicated a dark haired man stood next to him.

Shianni's eyes widened in surprise. 'No I've not seen her for nearly six months. Missing? What happened?' Shianni found herself wondering about her cousin's relationship with Alistair. The Warden Commander didn't go round the country looking for a stray elf, even if she was his aide.

'She can look after herself in a fight but we need to find her.' The dark haired man said. Alistair's shoulders drooped. He'd been hoping she'd be there.

'I'll certainly let you know if she turns up.' Shianni said.

'Thanks Shianni.' Alistair smiled at her, a smile she could see didn't meet his eyes.

* * *

Talissa stood on the roadside, the midday sun hot on her back. She had been walking for hours, the persistent ache of unshed tears numbed by the pain in her feet. She had stopped for a short rest and a drink of water from the skin she brought. She thought about why she was here, what reason she had for leaving Highever and she wanted to cry. Talissa felt so sneaky about leaving, not telling Alistair but it was for the best. The plan had crystallized in her mind while she'd been alone in her room, thinking. The hard part had being trying to get out of the room without him noticing. He put his arms round her as she tried to get up and it was all she could do from staying there in the warmth of his embrace. Her thoughts were dragged back to the present by the sound of a horse-driven carriage. She stood, quickly pulled the cloak hood over her head to hide her ears and stood waving on the roadside to get the drivers attention.

* * *

Later that day, Diandra saw Fergus in the hallway outside Alistair's study.

'How is he?' Diandra whispered.

'In shock I think. He's talking about mounting a search for her with Zevran. I've not seen him this bad since Mireli's funeral. He's trying to stay positive but I know he's not right. The trip to the Alienage turned up nothing.' Fergus was worried about his friend, she knew. And he had told Fergus about the Queen's threat which caused Talissa to run away in the first place. Fergus knew that if Alistair had his way, he would give up almost everything for her.

He decided to tell Diandra about what had transpired with the Queen.

'Maker's Breath, no wonder she ran away!' It had been just over a day since Talissa's departure and already Diandra missed her friend.

'Why did she disappear?' Fergus asked. He'd been married a long time ago and he was now with this woman, yet there were times that women were a complete mystery to him.

'Because she thinks she's helping him. She loves him but she doesn't want him to lose his position over her. So she takes herself out of the equation, and therefore she thinks he'll be alright.' Diandra finished.

'What? No-one can feel all that, they'd explode! And Alistair is talking about giving up being the Commander no matter _what_ happens.' Fergus looked astounded.

'Female logic. Sometimes the answers you come up with when you back yourself into a corner aren't the answers you come up with when you're able to talk to someone else.' Diandra said. She was saddened that Talissa hadn't been able to speak to her before she'd left. Perhaps she could have stopped her from leaving?

'Well, we better hope he finds her before Friday.' Fergus said, shaking his head.

* * *

_Talissa heard the hiss of the fire and the roar of damp wood. She looked up and realised she was in a campsite sitting on a log, somewhere she didn't recognise. Then she heard a voice, a siren's call._

'_Talissa'_

_She got up and made to follow the voice but it seemed to come from all round her. It bewildered her. When she turned round where she'd been sat there was a beautiful red haired woman in leather armour, stroking a tan mabari hound. _

'_Mireli?' Talissa said, stood in front of her. The woman nodded and smiled, her face kindly._

'_Talissa, I know you also love him as I do. Remember my message from Leliana. It is as it should be.' Mireli said._

'_I don't want to be the reason he would lose his position.' Talissa looked down and felt a light touch on her shoulder._

'_I must go but don't be afraid.' Mireli smiled at her as she walked away._

_

* * *

_The next day, Natalia wiped her brow with the back of her hand. She hated it when her husband left her to deal with the shop by herself. She had been putting goods on low shelves, kneeling down and bending over and it was making her back ache. Never mind, soon I can go get a drink before we open the shop again, she thought. Once she'd unfolded herself from the uncomfortable position she was in, she boiled a kettle in the back room. Natalia heard the bell over the door ring.

'Sorry we're closed.' She yelled but she didn't hear the bell ring again so she went out into the shop. She saw a woman with long dark hair facing the wall. She had two knives sticking up from underneath the grey cloak she was wearing.

'Did you not hear me? I said we're closed.' The woman turned round. Natalia gasped.

'Mama, it's me.' Talissa's voice cracked.

'Talissa, my dear girl. You look so grown up! I thought I would never see you again.' In a few steps Natalia was round the counter and holding her daughter in her arms. Talissa seemed to crumple and Natalia led her into the back room.

Once Natalia made her daughter a tea she asked 'So why are you back here, my daughter?' She held her hand and patted it gently.

'I wanted to come home, to come back to Redcliffe.' Talissa said quietly.

'You can't solve problems by running away from them.' Natalia shook her head.

'In this case, I _am_ the problem, mama.' She looked down at the mug of tea in her hand.

'It's a man isn't it?' Natalia answered looking at her daughter. She couldn't say too much as her and Maren's relationship had hardly been correct within the confines of either of their communities.

Talissa nodded but stayed quiet.

'I wish that the arranged marriage with Neralos could have happened, so that you wouldn't have had this pain but I know that married life in any Alienage, was not for you.' Natalia sighed.

'Alistair is a good man. He was given an ultimatum, give our relationship up or lose his position. I have made the decision for him.' Talissa began to cry again.

'Child, that decision wasn't yours to make, it was his. If he loves you enough to give his position up for you, he is a brave man indeed.' Natalia looked at her sobbing daughter and realised that she truly did love this man.

'Well, your room is still as you left it. You can stay for as long as you want but I would give some thought to going back and soon. I'm sure you will be missed there.' Natalia didn't want her daughter to leave again but she knew her duty lay elsewhere than this backwater town.

* * *

At Highever, that morning, there was a knock on the study door.

'Enter.' Alistair sounded weary. He had barely slept all night.

A nervous Edmund walked into the room and stood in front of the desk. 'Warden Commander', he nodded.

'Yes Edmund, what is it?'

'I wish to say something. I know about this letter that was sent to Queen Anora.'

Alistair stood up, intrigued. He noticed Edmund could not look him in the face. In fact he was finding the floor incredibly interesting.

'How do you know about this letter, Edmund?' Alistair asked leaning forward on the deskand wondering who had been spreading rumours.

'I, well, it was me who wrote it.' Edmund swallowed.

Alistair had never experienced such a height of rage for years. He was across the room in a second, shoving the younger man against the wall, arm tight against his throat.

'You BASTARD! You caused her to leave! Why would you do something like that?' Alistair yelled in his face, his nose almost touching Edmund's.

'Because I love her.' Edmund said in a gravelly voice as he was barely able to speak with Alistair's arm against his neck.

Alistair pushed his arm harder against his throat, hearing him choke. 'If you love her so damn much, why in all the fiery pits of Orzammar would you want to hurt her?' He saw Edmund go red in the face and heard his rasping breaths but he didn't care what happened to the younger man.

Then Alistair heard the door open.

'Alistair. NO!' Zevran pulled him away and as he dragged him off to one side, Edmund dodged out from under his arm. Something about that move angered Alistair, he was determined not to let the sneaky bastard get away again. Alistair lunged out of Zevran's grasp and punched Edmund on the jaw. A sickening crack rent the air and Edmund was propelled into a bookcase in the corner. That seemed to bring Alistair to his senses. In all his years as a Grey Warden, he had never hit or injured a fellow warden in anger. He flung himself down in a chair, shocked at his behaviour. He saw Edmund, in pain crumpled in the remains of a bookcase, looking just as shocked as Alistair. He gagged as he thought about what his anger had made him do. Maker, what on earth was he doing? If he ever needed proof that he loved Talissa, this was it but it was the wrong sort of proof. He looked at his hand, which was starting to bruise across the knuckles and back of the hand. Zevran was trying to find out from Edmund if he knew where Talissa could be. _Redcliffe_ he heard Edmund manage to see through his mangled jaw. Why had he wasted time dragging Fergus to Denerim when she would have run home? Damn, he didn't know her half as well he thought he did.

'Alistair, Edmund thinks she'll be at Redcliffe and I'm inclined to agree with him.' Zevran touched his friend on the shoulder. Edmund had already gone to the healer.

'We need to find her, Zev. Fancy a trip to Redcliffe?'

'Tsk, walking?' Zevran shook his head.

'We can take the carriage. We should make the most of it while I still can use it.'

'Why didn't you say so in the first place, hmm? How long will it take?' Zevran asked.

'Over a day each way but we'll be away a few nights so we best get prepared. I need to speak to Fergus, tell him what just happened and ask him to look after my duties while I'm away.' Alistair stood up straighter. He had his focus back.

'Good, oh and on your way there, try not to break any more jaws, my friend.' Zevran smirked.

* * *

Serena watched her sister sleep in the old room they used to share when they were younger. The Arlessa had kindly given her time off. A family emergency she had said and as Serena had not even been ill in the five years she'd served the Arlessa's family, she agreed. Talissa was starting to cry and thrash around. She was even calling out names in her sleep, Alistair being one of them. Talissa had barely said anything to them since she came home except for the conversation with their mother so Serena knew Alistair was the man she was involved with. Yet during daylight hours, Talissa walked around as in a dream. It was obvious her sleep wasn't restful.

Serena was concerned about her sister, so when she heard her crying she shook her awake. 'Talissa, stop it please.' Serena looked at her little sister, grey circles under her eyes and tears running down her face.

'Rena, I don't know what to do anymore.' Talissa sobbed as she sat up. 'I can't give up being a Grey Warden, I don't want to but I don't know if I can face anyone at Highever again.'

Serena put an arm round her sister. 'Talissa, listen, you can't stay here. Not that we don't want you but this isn't where you belong, not anymore. You have a duty as a Grey Warden to perform and not only that but your heart is at Highever, with Alistair. If you love him, go back to him.'

'But I can't, I don't think he'd have me after this.' Talissa shook her head sadly.

'You always were the stubborn one, even when you were a brat.' Serena smiled. 'For once in your life, back down.'

* * *

Alistair took first watch that night followed by the driver, then Zevran. He sat watching into the flames, the heat of the fire turning the logs white, listening to the horses quietly whinny to each other. He was desperate to get to Redcliffe but the driver had objected as the horses wouldn't be good for much except horsemeat if they carried on.

Alistair was thinking back to a conversation he'd had earlier with Zevran.

'What if Talissa doesn't want to come back to Highever, Alistair?' Zevran said in a concerned tone of voice.

He shook his head. 'She has to, I can't think like that.'

'You are starting to sound like Edmund. Obsessed and wanting to own her. She is a person with free will, not an object to be made to bend to your control.'

'I didn't mean to sound like that. If she really doesn't want to come back to Highever, well, there's always the Orlesian Wardens.' Alistair's heart sank when he thought about it. He reached into his breastplate and pulled out his mother's locket. Since Talissa left, he'd started to wear it again, as he used to as if it would protect him against pain. He wished it would. His eyes blurred as he thought about Mireli wearing it. She treasured it almost as much as he had. For her to give it him back, there must be a good reason behind it. He kissed the locket and whispered, 'Thank you Mireli'.

* * *

It was a gorgeous late morning and Talissa was sent out of the shop by her mother to go and get some fresh air. Natalia saw the greyish tinge her daughter's face was starting to take on. She was barely sleeping, crying when she was and barely eating as she had little appetite. Talissa was glad of the opportunity to escape the worried eyes of her family and picked up an apple and a skin of water on the way out. She'd found her old clothes in a drawer and wore a long plain muted blue dress. Her other dresses or the armour made her stand out and at the moment, she just wanted to blend in.

She walked past the Chantry, nodding a greeting at the Sisters stood outside, went across the green and the bridge in front of the Blacksmiths. As she walked past the small row boats, the ground rose and she smiled in spite of the way she'd felt lately. She would come here when she was younger, if she could get away from her parents shop. Sometimes it was good to be alone and far away from the prying eyes of the people in town. The path led partway up the hill and there was a flat piece of land she used to lie down on. If she lay low enough down, no-one knew she was here. She sat down facing the lake, munching her apple and thinking. Then she realised what she'd been staring at: Redcliffe Castle. Her stomach lurched as she remembered the stories that Alistair had told her about his childhood. No matter where I go, that man seems to be there, in my thoughts. She sighed as she finished off her apple and sipped some water. The sun was beating down hot and she began to feel sleepy. Talissa lay, propped up on the hillside and fell into a much more restful sleep than she'd had in days.

_NB: Fergus's line 'No-one can feel all that, they'd explode!' is from the 5__th__ Harry Potter book. (left out Hermione's response, 'Just because you have the emotional depth of a teaspoon, Ron!')_


	12. Chapter 12

Serena was looking after her parents' shop. It had been a fairly slow morning and she was thinking about going to get a drink, when a man walked into the shop she'd not seen before. He was tall and obviously muscular, wearing leather and mail armour, with light red hair.

'Can I help you?' Serena knew most of the people who came into the shop and as she didn't recognise him she was intrigued as to who this man was.

The tall man turned to face her and seemed to stop shocked. He was struggling for the right words.

'Is there anything the matter, ser? You look like you've seen a ghost.' Serena said confused.

'You remind me of someone. Do you own the shop?' He asked.

'No I'm just helping my parents out. My mother is upstairs if you want to speak to her.'

'And Talissa, is she here?'

Serena's mouth made an 'O' as she finally understood who this man was.

'Excuse me.' Serena said to the man as she almost ran to the bottom of the stairs leading to their flat. 'Mama, there's someone here you might want to meet.'

* * *

'Ah, so the sleeping beauty awakes.'

Talissa had just woken up, not immediately noticing Alistair sat to her left. He looked tired but had a slight smile on his lips.

'Alistair, what are you doing here? I don't understand.' She brushed her hair free of grass and grouped it over one shoulder.

Alistair sat on his haunches, his hands clenched together as he spoke. 'It's like this. There was this beautiful woman that I fell in love with and when faced with me making a decision about my future, she thought she had all the answers, so she ran away. _To save me_. At least, that's what she said in her goodbye note.' She heard the edge of bitterness in Alistair's voice and she suddenly felt defensive.

'I didn't want you to give up your job. Not over me, I told you that.' Talissa narrowed her eyes angrily.

'It's not your choice to make.'.

That phrase again! She thought. Talissa heard her voice rise in tone. 'I left for you. Then you follow me halfway across Ferelden, no doubt to drag me back to Highever. Well, tough! I'm not coming back.' She stood up and started walking back down the hill towards the town.

'Talissa listen to me.' She knew Alistair was behind her but Talissa was surprised when he grabbed her arm and spun her to face him, jarring her shoulder. If he was trying to calm her down, he was going the wrong way about it.

She turned, her eyes boring into him. 'NO!' Talissa yelled. 'I told you my reasons for leaving. I did it because I love you. Can't you understand? You're better off without me.'

'That makes no sense AT ALL!' Alistair yelled. He brought his hands upto his head as if he were going to grab his hair in frustration and thought better of it.

'It does to me!' Talissa tried to lower her voice but her anger dictated the volume. 'I didn't want you to hate me every time you looked at me, to resent the fact I lost you your role. At least this way you had some good memories of the time we spent together.'

'Good memories turned bitter by the fact you ran away when things got tough. I needed you and you left.'

This calm tone of voice made Talissa feel worse than Alistair shouting at her. She watched him walking down the hill.

'Alistair...' She felt her stomach twist into knots looking at him leaving.

'What? You've made your decision clear.' He turned to face her, 'If you don't want us to be together I know where I stand, don't I?' Alistair glanced at her coldly and carried on walking down the hill.

'Please Alistair, don't do this!' She cried out. She knew she sounded pathetic but was beyond caring. He came to a stop but faced away from her and sighed as she reached for him, touching his arm.

'Talissa. You either want to be with me or you don't.' He gazed less coldly at her. 'I don't want you running away every time it gets difficult.'

'I want to be with you. I just –'

Before she had finished her words he was holding her face in his hands and was kissing her frantically. Talissa tried to pull away at first then she gave in and pressed her body against his.

When they finally pulled apart Alistair laughed 'That was one way to end an argument.' Talissa looked at him, tears in her eyes.

'I'm sorry Alistair.' She put her head in her hands and cried. Alistair put his arms round her and stroked her hair.

'I didn't mean what I said, I was just so angry with you. I thought it would be better for your career if you forgot about me. That's why I left you.' Talissa put her hand in his and they walked back up the hill and sat in their previous position, Alistair with his arm round Talissa.

'I'm sorry about the way I reacted.' Alistair paused for a moment. 'I've decided. I don't want the job of Warden Commander anymore.'

'This isn't only because of that letter is it?'

'That meeting with Anora was the final straw. I enjoyed being the Warden Commander at Highever but not being dragged to Denerim on the slightest whim. I hate the palace protocol and the fakery of court life. The queen may not have direct control over the wardens but she can certainly make things difficult if she doesn't get her own way.'

Talissa gritted her teeth, remembering her dealings with Loghain's daughter. She had not been at her best, not stood up for her and Alistair. But Talissa knew Anora had scripted their meeting and the queen certainly had the upper hand.

'Would you be upset if I was just Alistair instead of Warden Commander?'

Talissa looked at him, watching. 'For a long time, you've been Alistair to me anyway. The title doesn't change how I feel about you.' Talissa held his hand to her mouth and kissed it, running a finger over the bruises.

'What wall has been upsetting you now?'

'The writer of the letter came forward yesterday morning. I'm not proud of this but I broke his jaw.'

'Alistair!' The shock in her tone was obvious. 'Who was it?'

'Edmund. He said he did it because he loved you.'

An involuntary shiver went down her back. 'What? He wrote the letter to Anora? The bastard!'

Alistair started to laugh. 'That's what I called him too.'

'I must have been stupid not to see, after him kissing me. Then there were the jibes he took for being my friend, the 'elf-lover' names he got called when we lived in Redcliffe.' Talissa shook her head.

'Would it have made any difference if he'd told you how he felt when you lived here?'

'No besides I have the person I want to be with right here. Why would I want anyone else?' Talissa felt him kiss her hair and knew he was smiling behind her.

'By the way, I met your mother and sister in the shop.' Alistair said innocently.

'_What_! Why did you do that?' Talissa squeaked.

'Hehe, calm down. I was looking for you of course. Serena told me where you'd be. You and your sister look very much alike.'

'Oh I see, you've had your way with the younger sister, now you prefer the more mature woman instead?' she said, her eyes narrowing.

'You know that's not true.' His tone of voice turned serious. 'Come back to Highever with me. Tomorrow. I've been lost without you.'

'I feel stupid for having left the way I did. My mother was right. It wasn't my decision to make and instead of you instantly forgetting me, the way I hoped you would, I've just distracted you instead. I'm sorry Alistair. Do you forgive me for running away?'

Alistair sighed and stroked her hair. 'Do you honestly think I would be here if I didn't forgive you?'

They stayed quiet, their thoughts distracting them until Talissa asked 'So where are you staying? And is it in the stables?' She smirked and Alistair tickled her ribs until she begged for mercy.

'Oh very amusing. I thought I was the funny guy in this relationship?'

'I've got to keep you on your toes.' She grinned.

'Anyway, the Arlessa has finally relented and let me back in the castle. In fact, Zevran is probably trying to seduce her as we speak. That reminds me.' Alistair moved his arm from behind her back and pulled a sovereign ring off his little finger. She was mystified, as she'd never seen him wear a ring before.

'Put your hand out.' Alistair put the ring in the palm of her hand.

'What's this about?'

Alistair watched Talissa wrinkle her nose up, as she did when she was bewildered. 'You know tonight I'm staying in the _big_ castle, in a _big_ bed, all by myself.' He began to grin. One of her legs was showing from under her skirt. He moved the skirt further up and using a nail, he gently traced a pattern on her bare thigh, making her heart race.

'Yesss Alistair?' She imitated him, knowing exactly where he was going with this.

'I know a way into the castle, a secret entrance and you use the sovereign ring to open the door. It's in the mill. I thought you might take pity on me and join me. I could meet you in the dungeon at twelve and give you a quick guided tour of the castle.' He raised an eyebrow at her, looking hopeful.

'Give me a quick guided tour of your bedroom, you mean.' Talissa grinned and straddled his legs. He moved his hands further up her legs, under the skirt. She kissed him and their tongues met partway, then he pulled away from the kiss.

'Does that mean you won't visit me?' Alistair grinned in the infuriating way he did that made her heart race.

'You know I will. Damn it Alistair, I've missed you.'

* * *

After all her family had gone to bed, Talissa dressed quietly in her green velvet dress, cloak and boots. From habit she had a sheathed knife with her in case she ran into trouble but that was unlikely.

'And where do you think you're going?' A voice whispered in the dark.

'Where do you think?' Talissa whispered back.

'He's good looking, that man of yours. But be careful. I don't want you having a blessed event, Papa would kill him.' Serena said quietly.

'Don't worry, that won't happen.' Talissa replied, kissing her sister on the cheek.

Once outside her house, having traversed the squeaky floorboards on the stairs, Talissa walked through the town and headed up towards the mill. She felt the sovereign ring on her finger and smiled to herself.

* * *

Alistair stood in the dungeon just before twelve, waiting for Talissa. Even though he had a lamp with him, the flickering of the flames still cast shadows on the walls and floor that made him think of his childhood. Being trapped in the dungeon had been his biggest nightmare, still haunting him in the Chantry. Then he heard it: A heavy door opening in the distance and light footsteps, cloth swishing against stone steps. The door opened in front of him and in she walked, her amber eyes catching the light. In only three steps, he was across the floor and picked her up, hugging her to him.

'Maker's breath, am I glad to see you.'

Later on, they lay naked on a blanket covering the floor in front of the fire. She was propped up on a bolster while Alistair lay on his side, tracing a pattern on her bare stomach with his finger and watching her looking at him.

'I thought we'd never do this again. I had visions of being celibate for the rest of my days.' He smiled and kissed her flat stomach.

'You, celibate? That's unlikely, I'm sure you would have found someone out there for you.' She winked at him while he shook his head.

'No, I don't want anyone else. Not after you and Mireli.' The air seemed to go quiet around them at the mention of her name.

'Mireli visited me in the Fade the other night.'

'What did she tell you?' Alistair asked.

'I'm not telling you, it was girl talk,' She smirked as she ran a fingernail down the middle of his chest.

'You see that's unfair.' Alistair put his arm underneath her back and leant on her. 'You didn't tell me your dream. Oh, and I used a fingertip, you use your nails.'

'But I know what a turn on you find me using my nails on your skin.' Talissa demonstrated by moving her hands behind him and running her nails slowly down the length of his back.

She saw his eyes roll upwards and felt him arch his back. 'Damn you woman.'

Early next morning, Talissa woke up next to Alistair, feeling him breathing in her hair and his arms wrapped round her. She felt she could sleep like this all day. Then she remembered where she was, hearing the noises outside their room and it occurred to her she was going to have problems getting out of the castle.

'Alistair, we better move. I need to get home or my father will be aiming at you with his Longbow.' Talissa said, lifting his arm and getting out of bed.

'What?' Alistair said, coming to. 'Oh I ache. What did you do to me?'

'Hey, it was your idea too.' Talissa answered, finding her clothes wherever she'd dropped them last night.

'By the way, Eamon wants to meet you.' Alistair watched Talissa running around putting her clothes on. 'He wants to see who this woman is that I'm giving everything up for.'

'You did tell him I was an elf, didn't you?' She stopped, staring at him.

'I did tell him but whether it sank in. He was quite annoyed with me.'

Talissa made a groaning noise. 'Oh wonderful, this is going to be a great meeting, I can see.'

'Well, I'll come and pick you up from your parents' house after breakfast. I have something I need to do.' Alistair said, starting to get out of bed.

'Oh yes and what would that be?' Talissa said.

'Never you mind, now go!' Alistair kissed her and smacked her behind as she was at the door.

She gave him a warning look and headed out of the door.

* * *

Talissa was half way down the hallway outside Alistair's bedroom, when the door to the staircase opened behind her.

'Oh Serena, I didn't know you were back today!' It was a female voice with an Orlesian accent.

Talissa turned around and there was her sister's employer, the Arlessa. She was starting to age although she was still very beautiful. So this is the woman who forced Alistair out, Talissa thought.

Isolde looked surprised. 'You're not Serena. May I ask who you are? I wasn't aware of any extra visitors with the Grey Wardens.' She sounded annoyed and a frown marred her features.

Just then, Alistair's door opened and out he walked, wearing only his trousers. Talissa saw a bite mark on his shoulder and if she could see it, so could the Arlessa. She resisted the urge to groan aloud.

'Lady Isolde, my apologies. Talissa is also a Grey Warden. She came to, erm, visit me.' Alistair said trying to sound as convincing as he could.

Isolde looked at Alistair directly, one eyebrow raised and said 'So I see, Alistair.' She looked even more angry.

'Lady Isolde, Serena is my sister. She is due to come back to the Castle today. I do hope this incident won't make things _difficult_ for her.' Talissa kept her gaze straight and refused to blink. The situation with Anora would never happen again.

For a moment, it would seem that neither woman would back down, until Isolde said 'Of course not. Your sister is an excellent maid. And I'm sure Eamon would be _delighted_ to meet you.' The sarcasm was evident in her voice as she turned on her heel and walked back downstairs.

'Alistair you might have wanted to wear a shirt. That's a lovely set of teethmarks on your shoulder.' Talissa giggled as she traced the bruise with her finger.

'Oh great. You could have _told _me. Anyway, that's the last time I save your hide!'


	13. Chapter 13

_Thanks to the people who are following this story. Reviews are welcome! _

**Chapter 13**

Talissa walked at a fast pace to get back home. Her parents were still fairly protective of her and Serena. She supposed it came from having girls rather than boys. When she walked in the door, her father looked surprised and asked her where she had been. She said she had got up early and went for a walk. Her father seemed happy with this explanation but her mother raised an eyebrow in a look she knew so well when younger. An 'I don't believe you' look. Talissa hated lying to her parents but her mother wouldn't tell her father what she suspected. It would only upset him. She went upstairs and changed into her armour, packing her clothes and belongings to take back with her. Talissa heard voices outside and she looked out of the window, not able to see anything.

The bedroom door opened. 'Hey sis, your man is here.' Serena smirked.

'Fine I'll be down in a minute.' Talissa brushed her hair and put some make up on. 'How do I look?' Talissa asked, knowing Serena was still watching her.

'Like the cat that got the cream.' Serena still smiled. 'Come on, you don't want to be late.' Serena escorted her sister downstairs.

Talissa had a feeling that everyone knew something, except her. That feeling was compounded when she saw Alistair looking nervous and her mother smiling at her as well.

He kissed her modestly on the cheek 'Long time, no see.' He whispered. 'I'm here to see your father.'

Talissa looked at him as if he had gone mad. 'Can I ask what this is all about?'

He grinned 'You'll find out soon enough.' She watched him walk into the shop, followed by her mother.

Serena linked arms with her and they started to wander round the town green. This place was smaller than she remembered and even though she loved seeing her family again, Talissa was pleased to be leaving Redcliffe. The place didn't hold as many fond memories as it should have.

'So what are you all upto then?'

Serena laughed. 'You can ask but I'll not tell. It's nothing bad.'

'I saw your employer this morning, I don't think she likes me very much. She caught me coming out of Alistair's room, thought I was you and then Alistair came out in just his trousers. That didn't help!' Talissa saw her sister laughing.

'Well, if you will sneak out of the house and do the walk of shame through the castle, that's what you get.'

'So is there anyone for you sister?' Talissa realised she had never asked her sister in all the time she'd been back.

'There could be. He's the stable master at the castle. He's a bit older than me but I like him.' Serena seemed to be lost in her thoughts.

'We seem to like our older men.'

Talissa heard footsteps behind her. 'Sorry Serena, but I'm kidnapping your sister.' Alistair grabbed her free hand and he walked back to the shop at a brisk pace.

'Alistair? What's going on?' Talissa tried in her most plaintive voice.

Alistair ignored her, walked upto the front of the shop and sat her on a barrel outside. Luckily few other people were there, except her father and mother.

Alistair got down on one knee in front of her.

'Talissa, will you marry me?'

Talissa was in shock and knew she had to reply. Eventually she said 'Yes of course Alistair' trying not to cry.

He kissed her and produced a small box. Inside lay a small gold rope ring. He took it out, put it on her ring finger – and it dawned on him that this ring was far too big. She looked bemused and started giggling. 'How did you work out what size my finger was, Alistair?'

'I, hmm, I used my little finger?' Alistair said, abashed.

Talissa's family started to giggle too. 'Hold your hand up.' Talissa asked.

He did as he was told. Talissa held her hand next to his, pinkie to ring finger. That was when he realised how slender her fingers were in comparison to his. Alistair scratched the back of his head. 'Perhaps you can g-' He was surprised as she quickly put a finger to his lips

'Don't say I can _grow_ into it Alistair!' She kissed him on the lips. 'It's gorgeous and I love it. Altering it would be a good idea though!'

Her family were ecstatic around them. Talissa felt as if she were in shock. After her parents congratulated them both and her father assured Talissa that if Alistair made her happy that was good enough for him, both daughters got ready to leave.

Talissa and Serena kissed her parents goodbye and with Alistair volunteering to carry Talissa's bag, they walked back to Redcliffe Castle.

* * *

On arrival in the castle courtyard, Zevran was packing up the carriage ready for the journey. He smiled when he saw them and came over. His attention instant turned to Serena.

'And may I ask, who is this lovely lady?' Zevran motioned at Serena.

'Let me introduce you both. Zevran this is my older sister, Serena. Serena, this is Zevran, my weapons trainer and lecher-in-residence at Highever.' Talissa replied grinning.

'For shame, that is unfair. Truly, there are some beautiful women in your family.' Zevran kissed Serena's hand and Serena blushed. She said her goodbyes and left quickly.

Zevran watched her go. 'Why did you not tell me your sister was so pretty, Talissa?'

'My mind was elsewhere.' Talissa winked at Alistair.

'I've got some good news. We've just got engaged.' Alistair could not keep the happiness out of his voice.

'Congratulations, both of you.' Zevran shook Alistair's hand and kissed Talissa on the cheek.

'Thanks Zev but can you try to keep it a secret when we get back to Highever. We'll tell people ourselves.' Alistair asked.

* * *

As they walked through the front door, Alistair's hand was gripped by Talissa. He stopped and said 'If you can stand upto Isolde, you can certainly face Eamon. I was really proud of you facing down Isolde like that.'

'Thank you' she smiled, trying to calm down.

They found Arl Eamon in his study. He noticed Eamon was getting older, his hair whitening and his hand hands had a slight tremor to them when he held it out to shake hands. After the basic introductions and pleasantries were over, Eamon asked Alistair to leave them to talk. Once the door was closed, Eamon seemed to glare at her.

'I understand you and your family were refugees from the Alienage in Denerim. Your parents are now grocers in Redcliffe and your sister is my wife's maid. What precisely do you think you will gain by marrying my foster son?' Eamon looked at her directly.

Talissa returned the gaze, not flinching 'It's true about my heritage. I have never denied my family, nor do I want to. I don't want inherited money or properties. Instead, my reason for marrying him is simply that I love him.'

Eamon seemed to scrutinize the young woman in front of him. 'If you love him, why did you run away when he talked about giving up the position of Warden Commander?'

'I know the only reason he was being threatened with losing his job was because I'm an elf. Queen Anora admitted that. I wanted him to make the right choice without our relationship distracting him. Instead I hurt him, a choice which I'm ashamed of.' Talissa's voice dropped as did her gaze. She looked up and Eamon had a surprised look on his face.

'Thank you for being so honest with me, Talissa. I hope you will both be very happy together. After Mireli's death, I thought I would never see him smile again. It's good to see him back to his old self again.' Eamon shook Talissa's hand and walked to the door. He opened it for Alistair to come in.

'Alistair my boy, you did your best as Warden Commander and perhaps five years is time enough.' Eamon looked him straight in the eye and held him stiffly by the top of the arms.

'Thank you Eamon.' Alistair looked surprised at his change of view.

Eamon asked a servant to fetch Lady Isolde. A few minutes later, Isolde walked into the room, a smirk on her lips.

'Isolde, I hope you will join with me in wishing both Alistair and Talissa every happiness for the future. Congratulations both of you.'

'But husband, I ... of course, congratulations.' Isolde smiled a false smile. Talissa knew she'd been wrong-footed by the news.

'Thank you Lady Isolde.' Talissa replied.

* * *

That night as they stopped to make camp, Talissa and Alistair did first watch. They sat and talked quietly.

'I couldn't believe Eamon's reaction when he congratulated us.' Talissa smiled and shook her head.

Alistair put an arm round her. 'Me neither, you must have done some pretty fancy talking to convince him.'

'Are you sure you want to marry me?' Talissa sounded small and vulnerable.

'I want to marry you, I wouldn't have risked your father shooting at me with his longbow otherwise.'

She smiled 'What did he say to you?'

'He sounded relieved actually. I told your parents who my father was, I thought it only right they know.' Alistair kissed the top of her head. 'I know I'm just an ignorant shem but I love you Talissa, I honestly do. And this feels right to me.'

'You want to marry a knife-ears with a temper, you must be mad.' She smiled and kissed his mouth. 'I love you too and I want to be with you, so why wait?'

Alistair reached inside his armour, pulling it off over his head. 'I want you to have this.' He gave her his mother's locket. 'You should know that Mireli had this before you so if you don't want to take this, I understand.'

Talissa took the necklace from him and looked at it. She realised this was what Mireli had worn in the portrait. It was bashed and scratched but obviously well loved. She handed it back to Alistair.

'You don't want to have it.' Alistair looked slightly hurt.

She shook her head. 'I want to have it but I want you to put it on me.'

'Ah.' He smiled as he put the locket over her head, kissing her.

'I'll put the ring on there, before we get it altered. I don't want to lose it.'

'One more thing I wanted to ask you. I know we're not actually married but would you finally move into my room? I think it should be about big enough for your collection of clothes.' He smiled.

'I'd love to, although I'll miss sharing with Diandra. She's become a good friend to me.'

'What I want to know is what do you women find so fascinating to talk about?'

'I can't tell you that! I'd be drummed out of the girls club!'

* * *

_He knew this place: the Deep Roads. The smell of the lava, the stone and the fleshy smell he associated with the Broodmother and her tribe. He was looking down on the darkspawn amassing below, wondering if they could see him, if they knew where and what he was. He spun round and he was surrounded by darkspawn. They didn't respond to his being there but he fought nausea. Their closeness made him want to run but there was nowhere to run to. Darkspawn on one side, yawning chasm on the other._

'_Alistair, wake up!'_

_He heard Mireli behind him. Turning he saw her looking angry._

'_Mireli!'_

'_Wake up, they will attack you!'_

Alistair woke and sat up. The night seemed still and calm. Yet he could feel darkspawn nearby.

'Talissa, wake up.' She groaned but had her knives to hand just under the edge of the bedroll. Alistair knew Zevran was still on watch and he had to get to the carriage to get his sword and shield.

'Zev' he whispered loudly.

'Yes' A stealthed Zevran whispered in his ear. Zevran had also sensed the unnatural quiet.

'We're due to be attacked. Protect Talissa, I need to get my sword.' Zevran nodded his assent as he moved to where Talissa was.

Alistair was in the carriage when he heard the darkspawn attacking the camp. Alistair jumped out of the carriage with his sword and shield, grabbed the driver who was just waking up, and told him to wait in the carriage. There were eight Shrieks that he could see, attacking Talissa and Zevran, who had their backs to each other. Alistair ran up next to his friends and alternated Shield Bash on both of the creatures they were fighting. This meant the rogues could take them down much quicker. Zev had no time to use his venom but that didn't stop him from taking them down with lightening speed.

Alistair taunted the next shriek and Talissa backstabbed it. The dual combinations of stuns and attacks made short work of the last few darkspawn. Once they were finished, coated in darkspawn blood, they dragged the shriek bodies across the road and began cleaning themselves up at the stream. The driver was quite scared and they decided that rather than try and finish the night off asleep, they would hitch the horses to the carriage at first light. They found the horses in the next field and they were spooked by the darkspawn but they calmed down once the carriage driver spoke to them.

Alistair hugged a shaken Talissa. 'For your first Darkspawn you did really well. They were Shrieks, and unfortunately that's what elves turn into if they become Darkspawn.'

Her eyes went wide. 'No! They were just...monstrous'

He nodded his agreement. 'Oh and you should know. Darkspawn blood takes ages to get off your armour. Where's a Mabari hound when you need one?' Alistair said.

She laughed then, although he could feel her still shaking. 'What did happen to Mireli's dog? I saw it when I saw her in the Fade.'

'I looked after Fluff for about six months but he pined away. Refused to eat. I tried so hard to keep that dog alive but he just wanted Mireli. I knew how he felt.'

'Sorry Alistair, I didn't know.' She said, looking at him.

'Why should you? I never told you.'

* * *

They arrived back at Highever just after noon. Alistair had already told them both he was thinking of asking Fergus if he wanted to be Warden Commander, assuming he'd not allowed the castle to burn down in their absence. He wanted to speak to Fergus alone and make sure he agreed with Alistair's decision.

Talissa, went to her room and put her stuff on her bed, soon not to be her bed much longer. She'd agreed to move into Alistair's room once they'd come back from Denerim. She was staring out of the window when Diandra walked in and went upto her friend.

'What the heck did you do that for? You had us all worried, you daft cow.' Diandra said, annoyed but glad to see her back.

'And hello to you too.' Talissa said sarcastically.

Diandra gave her a hug and Talissa heard her crying. 'What's wrong? I'm back now.' Talissa said.

'That's not the point. I was worried about you. And Alistair was beside himself with worry.' Diandra replied, still holding on to her friend.

Talissa felt her throat tightening when she heard how much pain she'd caused people. 'I am sorry about that. I just thought as it was me he was losing his job over, if I was out of the picture he'd be able to make up his mind without me distracting him.'

'He needs you, you know.' Diandra said, sitting down on her bed and putting an arm on her shoulder. 'Without you he does stupid things, like breaking people's jaws.' They both smiled.

'I heard. And how is Edmund?' Talissa said.

'Better than he deserves to be. Once it's healed, he's going to be shipped off to the Anderfels, as Alistair promised. I can't believe the crap he put you both through.' Diandra said in an angry tone of voice.

'I hate to say this but I think I have to make a hospital visit. Will you come with me? I don't want to be alone with him.' Talissa pleaded with Diandra.

'I think you're mad but yes I'll come with you.'

* * *

Talissa changed her clothes and cleaned up. She wasn't looking forward to this but knew she would have to speak to Edmund before he left. She wore the blue dress she was wearing at Redcliffe and boots and they walked up to the top of the castle, where the healers worked and knocked on the door.

'Enter' a female voice replied.

'Talissa, how lovely to see you again.' Millie the healer hugged her friend. 'Did you have a good trip?'

'It went well thanks Millie. Is Edmund here?' Talissa said.

Millie's lips narrowed. 'Yes.' She pointed to the far end of the room.

Talissa moved forward and walked behind the screen.

'Edmund.'

He was surprised. He was sat in a chair next to the bed, his jaw strapped up. The break had been healed but they needed to allow time for the swelling to go down. Of all the people he expected to see before he left for the Anderfels, Talissa was not one of them.

'Talissa. How lovely to see you. And Diandra too.' He said through mostly closed lips. She looked beautiful, if tired. Her trip to Redcliffe had obviously exhausted her.

She sat on the bed close by. 'I want to know why you wrote that letter, Edmund.' Her amber eyes stared fixedly at him.

He couldn't meet her unflinching gaze for long. 'You know why Talissa.' Edmund said quietly, looking at his hands resting in his lap.

'What did you honestly think you would gain by telling the Queen? Answer me!' Talissa was very close to losing her temper with him. She'd never been this annoyed for a long time. Diandra stood next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

'I thought you would come to me, I thought you would be mine once the Commander Warden was kicked out.' Edmund closed his eyes for a second. Shame burned through him.

Her voice dropped and she leaned forward. 'That would never have happened. You lost your chance years ago. You know that, don't you?'

He nodded dumbly.

'I'm sorry you're leaving to go to the Anderfels, but you and I need to be away from each other. You didn't love me, you wanted to possess me. That's not the same thing, Edmund.' Talissa looked at him almost sadly. 'I still think naively that there is someone out there for everyone, but I'm not the person for you.'

Talissa felt terrible when she looked at him and saw a tear running down a cheek.

'Then I think it is only fair we say goodbye here and now, Talissa. You were a good friend to me in Redcliffe and I would like to think I was a good friend to you too, once.' He said, his voice beginning to crack.

'You were a good friend to me back then and I know you were teased for standing up for me and my family in Redcliffe. But I lost you as a friend when we came to Highever, before I even met Alistair.' Talissa wanted to hold his hand but couldn't do that. She didn't want him to think there was even the smallest chance of them being together.

She stood up and turned to walk away.

'Goodbye Talissa and – I hope he makes you happy.' He hesitated.

She looked at him, this wretched man and knew he would never have been right for her. 'Goodbye Edmund. I hope you find some peace within.'

Then the two women walked out of the healer's room, tears running down Talissa's face.

_NB: Thanks to Erynnar for pre-reading this and the ring suggestion. Kudos to you! :)_


	14. Chapter 14

That evening, Talissa went to Alistair's study. He'd asked her to join him after tea. In she walked to find Alistair, Fergus, Diandra and Zevran already there.

'You're always late.' Alistair said grinning as he poured her a drink

'I'm _fashionably_ late, sweetheart.' Talissa purred back, taking the drink from him.

The other three looked at each other, bemused. They were already acting like an old married couple.

'Well, you're probably wondering why I've called you into the study. There are some changes about to happen.' Alistair sipped his drink and carried on, 'Firstly, we're going to Denerim tomorrow to give the Queen my answer. I am due to step down as Warden Commander.' This didn't come as much of a surprise to anyone so Alistair ploughed on. 'And in my place, I would like Fergus to step into the role. I will speak to the Queen and as she knows and likes Fergus in some twisted way, I'm sure she will accept my decision.' Fergus smiled.

'You kept that quiet, Fergus.' Diandra looked at him surprised.

'Yes and don't forget its Warden Commander from now on, even in bed.' He said in a loud stage whisper.

The rest of them laughed. 'Hah! Like that's going to happen.' Diandra grinned.

'Secondly, I have some more news. I have asked this lovely woman,' Alistair indicated Talissa, sat next to him, 'to be my wife. And she, in her madness has accepted.' Diandra gasped. She and Fergus got up and kissed Talissa congratulations and shook Alistair's hand.

'Now you've told them, can I have my ring back?' Talissa put her hand out in front of Alistair. He reached into his pocket and turning her hand over, put the engagement ring on her finger, where it hung loose. Diandra 'oohed' over the ring as Talissa told them the story of how Alistair estimated her ring size. The group laughed, just like her family had. Fergus asked them when they would be getting married. They'd already decided the previous night, three months time at Highever. Although Eamon had offered Redcliffe as a venue, they both decided that Highever felt more like home than Redcliffe ever had to either of them.

'And where are you going for a honeymoon?' Zevran asked.

'I was thinking perhaps a trip to Orzammar, take in the sights, kill a few Darkspawn. You know the sort of thing.' Alistair smiled as Talissa nodded in agreement. It had been her idea after the run-in with the darkspawn. What was the point of being a Grey Warden if she couldn't fight darkspawn?

'Wow, you really know how to romance a girl.' Diandra grinned.

Not long after that, Zevran took his leave and left the two couples to talk. Talissa broke it to Diandra that she was moving into Alistair's room and although Diandra was sad, she her friend would move on. Before she'd left Talissa was hardly ever in her room, even keeping a change of clothes in Alistair's wardrobe. Alistair told them that he was going to take over Fergus's job as sword and shield trainer, a job Talissa knew he'd enjoy much more than Warden Commander. They left the study earlier than usual as Alistair and Talissa had the trip to Denerim the following day.

* * *

Later that night they lay in his bed talking. Neither of them were tired, though they knew they should be.

'Alistair, I know you're going to be a fight trainer, but what am I going to do? Nothing personal against Fergus, but I wouldn't want to be his aide. It wouldn't feel the same.' Talissa said softly. She's only just recognised she also would be out of a job.

'Hmm, I'm not sure. Diandra might have something for you or there might be another role in the Castle. You can always carry on training with Zevran until we find you something.' Alistair kissed her bare shoulder but she moved away from him.

'I think you should know something. Don't be angry at me but I went to see Edmund this afternoon. Diandra came with me.' Talissa had her back to him so he couldn't see her face but she sounded upset.

'Oh.' He said, lying on his back. 'May I ask why?'

'He was still a friend of mine at Redcliffe, the only friend I had who wasn't my sister. He went out of his way to protect me. I didn't understand then he was doing this because he loved me. I thought he just liked me as a friend.' Talissa replied, her throat sore from not crying. She felt guilty as surely as if she was sailing the boat to the Anderfels in the first place.

Alistair close behind her and put his arm round her waist. 'I do understand, I was just concerned that it would make things worse.'

Talissa shook her head and faced him. 'I don't think so. I told him exactly what I thought and that it would never have worked. I felt like a total bitch, but I had to say it. We wished each other well and said goodbye.' She gave into her tears and cried against him then.

'You did the right thing.'

* * *

The following morning they were on their way to Denerim, for the last time as Warden Commander and his aide. They decided to give up on the pretence of having two rooms at the Gnawed Noble and signed in as 'Mr and Mrs Theron', spelling the Royal name differently to not to cause any questions. Talissa went for a walk while Alistair went to deliver his verdict to Queen Anora. She had a letter to deliver to a gentleman by the name of Brother Genitivi, for Leliana and then she had a trip of her own to make. She knocked on the door of Brother Genitivi's house. She was about to put the letter through the letter box, when she heard someone shuffling towards the other side of the door.

'Yes, can I help you?' An elderly bald-headed man opened the door.

'Brother Genitivi, I was wondering if Leliana was still staying with you or you knew where she is?'

He squinted at her. 'And may I ask who you are?'

'I'm Talissa. I'm with the Grey Wardens and I have a letter for her.'

'Oh, why didn't you say you worked for them? A servant I presume.' Genitivi opened the door further.

She sighed. 'No, I am a Grey Warden. I currently work alongside the Warden Commander of Ferelden as his aide.'

He seemed taken aback by the news. 'Oh I'm sorry, I never thought...' Brother Genitivi looked straight at her. 'Leliana went on a trip to the Urn of Sacred Ashes about a month ago. However I will make sure she gets your message.'

'Please do. It's a joint invitation to her from myself and Alistair to come to our wedding.' She turned on her heel and walked off. She didn't want to have to explain her heritage to someone she would probably never meet again.

Now where was that dressmaker Leliana took her to?

* * *

As Alistair entered the Royal Reception rooms in the palace, the Queen and her servants seemed more subdued than usual.

'Alistair. I understand you have made your decision. Come and sit with me.' Alistair did as he was bade and sat across from her. The Ladies-in-waiting moved themselves away from them both.

'I have made my decision and it was not an easy one to make.' Alistair tried to read this woman's face and knew she was implacable.

'Love over responsibility.' Anora said simply. 'You always were a fool for the women you loved, Alistair.' She sighed.

'Actually Your Majesty, I still have my duty as a Grey Warden. That will never change.' Alistair tried to remain calm.

'And do you have anyone in mind to take over your position?'

'I do, Your Majesty. Fergus Cousland.'

'A sound choice. I'm sure he will do an excellent job. Very well, I agree to the decision.' Anora nodded her assent.

'I will inform Weisshaupt of the decision. I'm sure they will not disagree.'

'You and Talissa.' Anora said after a moment's silence. 'When are you due to get married?'

'We're due to be wed in three months time, at Highever. Your Majesty is invited, however you might find our accommodations more basic than you are used to.' Alistair said, knowing she would decline.

'That is kind of you both. I wish you all the best for the future. And I will miss our verbal sparring, Alistair. I do not have many people willing to stand up to me.' Queen Anora looked at him sadly.

Alistair felt he had to say something. 'Your father. I am sorry for the way he died. Had it been now, I would have given him the chance to take part in the Ritual. At least he might have had a chance to live longer.'

Anora shook her head. 'My father lived and died by the sword. Dying by a slow poison was not the way he would have wanted to go, I know. None of us are the same people we were then.'

Alistair stood up and bowed and took his leave.

* * *

Alistair was getting ready for dinner, when Talissa walked in, holding a parcel and a pleased look on her face.

'And where have you been Mrs Theron?' Alistair grabbed her and kissed her as she went past him.

'Never you mind. I need to get ready. I have a date with a man tonight.' She smirked.

'Oh well, let me know how it goes. I thought I would wander to The Pearl myself...' Talissa let out a squeak and hit him on the arm.

'Oww! That was mean.' Alistair said, rubbing his arm.

'Serves you right. Go down to the bar while I finish dressing. I'll be down in ten minutes, I promise.' Talissa kissed his arm and his face and pointed at the door.

'Fine I know when I'm not wanted.'

Alistair was at the bar and had just started to drink his first drink when he saw a vision in red silk out of the corner of his eye. He felt almost guilty, for looking at her, until he saw it was Talissa, in an almost identical one to her purple dress and with shoes to match. He stood up as she drew near.

'Wow, that is a great colour on you.' Alistair breathed. He resisted the urge to lead her back to the bedroom, but only just.

'Thank you. I ordered it last time we were here.'

Alistair noticed she was attracting a lot of attention from other men in the bar. He kissed her on the cheek and he led her into dinner. They talked about the day's events, about Anora's revelation and her comments. Talissa knew that her enquiries were almost being friendly.

They both sat drinking after they'd finished their dinner.

'Alistair? There's something that I have to ask you.' Talissa bit her lip.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing's wrong exactly, it's just if we could have children...' Talissa left the sentence hanging.

'You're not trying to tell me something are you?'Alistair replied quickly.

'No I'm not but if I was, would you be happy with that?' Talissa asked quietly.

'You do know that it's very rare for Grey Wardens to have children together and if they do, there can be problems due to the taint?' Alistair looked at his fiancée, trying not to see the hurt on her face.

'I know that Alistair. The thought struck me that of everything I know about you, I don't know if you want children.'

'Ah, I see. Well if you became pregnant I would love to have a child together.' Alistair reached across the table and held her hand. 'You want to be a mother, don't you?'

Talissa nodded. 'No-one ever told me that doing my duty meant sacrificing everything. I never knew until Diandra told me a few months ago that the taint made it almost impossible to conceive or stay pregnant.'

'When I went to Weisshaupt a few years ago, there was talk about only conscripting men for this reason. It might seem sexist but it's not meant like that. Many women have a strong maternal instinct and if they can't have children, it's just unfair.'

'If only men had got conscripted, I would never have met you Alistair. That not something I ever want to give up. Even if we can never have children together, I still want to be with you.'

'I'm happy to hear that.' Alistair whispered, stroking her hand with his thumb.

* * *

Later on, Talissa and Alistair lay side by side, each in their own thoughts.

'I'll miss this, our nights away in Denerim knowing there's no-one listening at the door from Highever.' Alistair said putting his arm around Talissa and pulling her close.

'Thinking about what Edmund did still gives me the creeps. I do wonder how much he heard?' Talissa said.

'A fair amount if he was right up against the door, though why you'd torture yourself when you were in love with that person, I don't know.' Alistair stroked her hair from her face.

'I have no idea. Anyway forget about him. This is our last night here, is there anything we've not already done that you fancy doing?'

'Ooo my rampant elven girlfriend.' Alistair began to kiss the side of her face and kissing the edge of her ears. 'You see that set of drawers over there...'


	15. Chapter 15

_The big day is getting close and like anyone about to get married, the nerves are kicking in! The dance scene was inspired by 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift. I'm not a huge fan of hers but this song really suited the mood. Thanks to Erynnar for beta'ing for me. You rock! :)_

Chapter 15

**3 Months later**

It was the day before her wedding and Talissa was nervously drumming her hands on the table in the Refectory. No, to say she was nervous was wrong, she was petrified. Her parents and sister had arrived the previous day and so had Leliana. And that's when everything seemed to have gone wrong. Leliana and Serena did NOT get on and insisted on disagreeing about everything.

'Well I think she should be wearing a simple hairstyle, two narrow plaits from either side of her head, with most of the hair down and perhaps a few wild flowers woven into it.' Serena said, glancing towards her sister as she ate her food.

'I don't agree, it's her wedding day and she should look _special_. She has divine hair. Talissa should wear it up Orlesian style, with a tiara and gems. And I agree about flowers but orchids and roses and oh! She will look _so_ beautiful, I promise!' Leliana was so enthusiastic that Diandra smiled at her. Talissa had visions of looking like a walking flower stall and no-one was asking her what she thought, they were too busy talking about her as if she weren't there.

The two women carried on debating how Talissa should look. Diandra glanced at Talissa, who was barely eating and looked flushed and sickly.

'Talissa, what's wrong? Diandra asked quietly.

'I need some air that's all.' She pulled herself out from behind the table and walked swiftly out of the door, leaving the three women surprised.

* * *

Talissa could feel tears prickle in her eyes before she'd even left the castle. She found her feet unconsciously walking directly to the Gardens and to the gazebo that Alistair had brought her to talk months earlier. She sat down and hoped no-one had followed her out of the castle.

It wasn't that she didn't want to marry Alistair, it was just that the more people who became involved and had ideas, the bigger it became and the less it seemed to be about their day. It was another event for people to go and get drunk at. She wished that when the wedding organisation had got on their nerves, she had taken Alistair up on his offer of running away to get married. They'd laughed about it at the time. Only it didn't feel so funny now. But she knew she would be letting her parents down. She was so involved in her own thoughts, that she never heard the footsteps approaching. A hand touched her on the shoulder and she jumped in surprise.

'Alistair, how did you know where I was?' Talissa asked.

'Diandra told me. I met her as she came out of the Refectory. I heard there was a bit of a disagreement between Leliana and Serena.' Alistair sat next to her and stroked her arm.

'I'm so sick of everyone getting involved, thinking they know better. It's our day, not theirs.' Talissa said angrily.

Alistair leaned back, putting his arm around her shoulders. 'You know what? This time tomorrow it will be all over, bar the dancing and getting drunk. Soon, it won't matter who suggested what and who disagreed with whom. I know you will look gorgeous tomorrow, no matter what you wear. You need to stand up for yourself more. It's _your_ big day and if you don't want Leliana to put singing birds in your hair then say so, don't get upset.' Alistair kissed her on the forehead and whispered. 'Show them a bit of the old Talissa that I saw when you insulted me on the first day I met you, that young woman with the fire in her eyes.'

Talissa laughed. 'Alistair Theirin, you really know how to make me smile.'

'Good because I hate it when you cry. It makes me want to cry too.' He sniffed and she giggled at him.

'I just wish we could spend tonight together, that's all. I'll miss not waking up in your arms.' Talissa kissed him on the lips.

'Well I could always bribe Zevran and you could bribe Leliana...' Alistair said

'One last night of guilty sex before marriage, that sounds good to me.' Talissa whispered.

'I swear you're more sex-obsessed than I am. I have my reputation to consider, you know.' Alistair said in a mocking tone.

'I think it's a bit late for your reputation, don't you?'

* * *

Alistair and Talissa walked back to the Castle holding hands and he saw her to her old bedroom door, chastely kissing her on the lips.

As Talissa walked into the bedroom she used to share with Diandra, she was nearly mown down by Leliana and Serena running to hug her.

'Talissa, I'm so sorry for hurting you!' Leliana said, crushing her against the door.

'Sorry sister, it's your day.' Serena said, with her arms around Talissa.

'Oww, can I move away from the door!' Talissa said, the door knob sticking in her back.

Diandra was sat on her old bed, trying not to laugh at the scene before her. Prior to Talissa's entry into the room, they had been discussing revised plans for the wedding. All of them agreed that although they all wanted her to look beautiful, it was Talissa's day and she had the final word on the way she would look. Diandra had to mediate between Serena and Leliana, making sure the over-enthusiastic bard didn't take over. Eventually, Serena and Leliana came to an understanding and even became friendlier with each other.

'We were worried about where you'd gone, Talissa.' Serena said, as they all sat on the beds.

'I needed to get away. The two of you were driving me mad!' Talissa said. 'Listen to me, all of you. It's my day and I will decide what I want to look like. I will let Leliana do my make-up, Serena, you will do my hair as your description sounded lovely, and you will all help me put my clothes on, making sure I don't have my dress tucked into my knickers.' The women giggled. 'I appreciate all of you helping me on my wedding day. You're all special to me in different ways, but if any one of you tries to take over again, I swear I'll punch you on the nose!' Talissa hugged them all one by one. It was starting to get dark and she had one more thing to do before going to bed.

* * *

She found her parents in the Refectory, having a cup of tea and a biscuit. They were staying in the castle, in what was Edmund's old room. She smiled when she saw them sat together. Talissa hoped that Alistair and her would still be as in love when it came time to go to Orzammar as her parents were. Maren saw his daughter and beamed as she sat down next to him.

'Aneth ara, da'len*. It's getting very close, are you nervous?' His facial tattoo was his only remnant of his time spent with the Dalish elves. He left to marry Natalia, a choice he would never regret. His grey eyes saw more than his few words would say but he could see how much Talissa and Alistair loved each other. He was impressed by the man of royal blood who travelled halfway across Ferelden to bring her back. When Talissa became a Grey Warden, he thought she would never marry.

'Yes papa, I've had to tell my very keen bridesmaids what each of them is doing. They keep trying to take over.' She smiled and her fingers played unconsciously with the locket round her neck.

'Where did you get that locket, Talissa?' Her father asked. He couldn't recall her wearing a necklace before.

'Alistair gave it to me. It was the only thing he had belonging to his mother.'

'Then you must certainly treasure it, da'len.' Natalia said.

'I will do Mama. Are you finding Highever comfortable?' Talissa asked her parents.

'It's a lovely place. I can see why you are so fond of it.' Natalia answered.

Maren stood up and kissed his daughter on her forehead and put a hand on her shoulder. 'Goodnight my daughter.'

'Night papa.' Talissa answered, putting her hand on his.

Natalia stayed with Talissa, finishing off her tea. Then she spoke. 'I know you love him Talissa, I have no doubt of that. Our marriage was also a love match, unusual among both communities. Your father gave his life up with the Dalish to marry me. I felt so guilty about that for such a long time but your father, he never resented me. He is a good man. And so is your Alistair.' The two women sat in their own thoughts.

'I wish we could give you grandchildren but it might never happen. We would both love to be parents.' Talissa found her voice heavy with pain as she said this.

'I understand. You mustn't punish yourself or each other for this. If it happens, then it's surely meant to be and if it doesn't at least you will have each other. Not many can say that, can they?' Natalia patted her daughter on the hand as she stood up.

'No, mama'.

'Well, I'll have to take these old bones to bed. Your father will be wondering where I've got to. Goodnight Talissa.' Natalia rose, kissing her daughter on the cheek and walked out of the Refectory.

Talissa stared out of the window for a long time, looking at the silhouette of the castle grounds through the window and the reflection of her own face, her chin propped on her hands.

'So here you are, you can't hide from me Mrs Theirin.' Alistair said, sitting next to her. He looked at her face and saw how drawn she looked. 'Come on, I've bribed Zevran into letting me sleep with you, let's go to bed. I think we both need some sleep for tomorrow.'

'I just want you to hold me as I fall asleep.' Talissa stood up and put her arm round his waist as they walked to their room.

'I think that sounds like a plan.'

* * *

Talissa was half asleep when she heard whispering outside their bedroom door next morning. It was still dark so as far as she was concerned far too early for getting up. She snuggled up to Alistair and he put his arms round her and spooned into her back. She was just about to drift back to sleep when there was a knock on the door. Before either of them could answer, Leliana and Serena were stood on her side of the bed.

'Time to go Talissa, you have to get ready.' Serena whispered.

Talissa sat up, putting Alistair's arm to one side. 'What time is it?' she yawned.

'Five o'clock.'

'What! Why are you waking me now? Forget it, I'm going back to sleep. Wake me in three hours.' Talissa lay down again, as if preparing to go to sleep.

'If that's the way you want to play it.' Leliana and Serena stood either side of the bed and yanked the bedclothes off both of them.

'Cruel women.' Alistair muttered into his pillow and lying down in nothing but his small clothes.

Laughing, they dragged Talissa bodily from the bed by her arms. As she was objecting, Alistair stood up.

'One final kiss before we get married.' Alistair stood up. Talissa heard her sister gasp and Leliana giggle as Alistair kissed her intensely. That was when she felt herself being prodded in the stomach. Once their kiss was over, he winked at her and collapsed back into bed.

'Well I suppose that answers a lot of questions about Alistair.' Leliana said as she led Talissa down the Hallway back to her bedroom.

'You have a dirty mind Leliana.' Talissa smiled nonchalantly.

'Oh don't come the innocent with me, not after what I've just seen.' Leliana laughed.

Serena said, still blushing. 'I'll not be able to look him in the face now!'

'That serves you right for waking us up so early!'

* * *

Talissa spent the morning being pampered and preened. As for the very early wake up call, Talissa thought they just wanted to make sure she wasn't spotted coming out of Alistair's room. Her mother might suspect their relationship was physical, but Talissa was sure they would not want proof. That would certainly upset her parents.

At twelve forty-five, Talissa was finally ready. She looked at herself in the full-length mirror and was startled at the elegant and attractive woman who looked back at her, so different from the angry young woman who had first come to Highever almost two years earlier. Alistair had seen something in her that she had not, not at first. The dress, in ivory silk had a boned bodice, fastened at the back with delicate ivory buttons and off the shoulder with long sleeves and a simple long silk skirt. No lace and no train was what the disappointed dressmaker had been told, although she noticed she'd managed to include a lace edging to the top of the dress.

Leliana did her make-up, dark eye shadow and red lipstick which contrasted perfectly with her mahogany hair and olive skin. Serena braided the hair from the each side of her face into a long plait at the back, weaving freshly picked wild flowers into the hair. Most of her hair was left down and curled so that the ends of her hair coiled down onto the top of the dress.

Talissa stood in front of the mirror making final adjustments to her hair and when she was ready, turned to face her friends. Smiling she asked 'What do you think?' Serena and Diandra had tears in their eyes, while Leliana smiled back at her beatifically.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Alistair was in the Great Hall, watching the people come in. There were a few people he knew apart from Grey Wardens and he smiled at those he saw. Oghren had come with Felsi, he noticed although he had no inclination to hear his views on marriage, remembering their meeting with Branka in the Deep Roads. He looked round, for a woman with greying hair. He did a double take as he saw a woman with white hair walking with a stick. _Wynne_! Although he was shocked at how quickly the mage had aged, he was pleased to see her.

As for Mireli, he knew had fate meant for them to marry, he would not be here. Talissa had asked him a few days earlier how he felt about not having had the opportunity to marry her. Alistair told Talissa that Mireli would always hold a special place in his heart as his first love but Talissa would be his best friend, his lover and wife and he would go to the Deep Roads with her. Talissa would have his heart and share his life. She would have everything he could give her.

Fergus saw his best friend looking nervous and swallowing but he looked smart, in a dark green noble's suit. The three months since Alistair had resigned as Warden Commander had been busy for Fergus but he knew that Alistair was enjoying his job as a recruit trainer. He looked younger than Fergus ever remembered him looking. He'd been honoured when Alistair had asked him to be best man, expecting Zevran to be asked instead, having known him longer.

'Nerves kicked in yet?' Fergus asked standing next to Alistair.

'They're starting to.' He took slow deep breaths, trying to ignore the sickly feeling in his stomach.

Fergus smiled at his friend and putting a hand on his shoulder told him 'You're both right for each other. You'll be good together, I have no doubt.' He squeezed Alistair's shoulder and said in a quieter voice, 'You know Mireli approves, don't you?'

'I know. Thanks Fergus, you've been a good friend to me.'

Leliana walked up to Alistair, gently kissing him on the cheek and whispered 'Your wife-to-be is ready. Are you?'

Alistair nodded, not sure he could answer without giving into tears. Leliana walked to the front, facing the audience and began to sing. He knew that meant Talissa was at the door.

'Look forward.' Fergus muttered, 'Don't turn until she's next to you.'

Only when Alistair saw the skirt of the dress out of the corner of his eye did he look at her. What he saw made his eyes go wide. She smiled at him and he reached for her hand as the Revered Mother began to speak.

* * *

After the ceremony, Alistair and Talissa walked outside for some fresh air. It was a lovely warm day. Alistair was still holding her hand, as if he thought he may lose her.

'You were right Mr Theirin' Talissa grinned at him. Nearly everyone else had gone to the Refectory to have a drink and a snack.

'That's gratifying to know.' Alistair smiled back at her, watching the way the curls cascaded over her shoulders. 'And don't forget who's always right either!'

'Hah! You wish'

He shrugged 'I tried.' Alistair stopped and put his arms round the top of her back pulling her to him. 'I was completely shocked when I saw you in the Hall.'

'Was my make-up that scary?'

'Of course not. You look amazing.' Alistair put his hands inside the curls. 'And you suit long curly hair too.'

'Thank you.'

'Do you remember when we duelled? I found you so attractive then, covered in sweat and blood and with your hair coming loose.' Alistair kissed her on the forehead.

'And I remember I was trying so hard not to stare at your chest while you were being treated.'

Alistair laughed. 'Shall I be honest? I was showing off, seeing what effect it would have on you.'

'Just like you were this morning when you kissed me in front of Serena and Leliana' Talissa giggled. 'If my sister can't look you in the face today, you know why.'

'What can I say? I'm a bad, bad man' Alistair grinned.

* * *

As they walked into the Refectory where the food was to be served, the wedding guests started clapping. Alistair and Talissa got a drink and mingled with their guests. All of the Highever Grey Wardens were there. Alistair was talking with Arl Eamon when Talissa approached.

'Ah Talissa, congratulations.' The Arl kissed her on the cheek. ' Unfortunately, Isolde couldn't make it but my brother, Teagan joined me.' The Arl motioned at a younger man who although was older than Alistair, was still attractive. 'Teagan, may I introduce you to Talissa, Alistair's wife.'

Teagan kissed her hand, a gesture she found too personal and old-fashioned.

'Delighted.' Teagan looked her straight in the eyes, 'I understand you used to live in Redcliffe before becoming a Grey Warden'

Talissa nodded. 'My parents still live there.'

Serena walked over to Talissa to ask her something when Bann Teagan asked Talissa to introduce him.

'This is my older sister, Serena.' Teagan kissed her hand also, and Talissa heard the catch in her sister's throat and the look of recognition.

'Serena, would you do me the honour of this dance?'Teagan almost bowed to Serena, an act that Talissa found amusing but thought was a sweet gesture.

'Bann Teagan I-' Serena hesitated. 'Yes I would love to dance.'

Teagan escorted her onto the dance floor.

Alistair saw Eamon smiling. 'I take it your brother knows he's dancing with his sister-in-law's maid?'

'He knows. And what Isolde doesn't know, won't hurt her.' Eamon said his excuses and walked away.

'I think the stable master is out of the picture.' Talissa said, watching her sister and Bann Teagan dance together.

'Teagan has always classed personality above breeding. He was a good friend when Isolde was making things difficult for me as a child.' Alistair watched Teagan and Serena, wondering how his wife knew that just from one dance.

Talissa squeezed Alistair's hand. 'In that case, I like him already.'

'Come with me, there's someone I want you to meet.' Alistair led the way to the corner of the room. There was an old woman with whitened hair, sat on a chair.

'Wynne?'

'Alistair? It's been a long time since I saw you.' Alistair bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

'I'm so glad you could come, Wynne.' Alistair put his hand in the small of Talissa's back. 'And this is my wife, Talissa.'

Wynne suddenly laughed. 'I assumed that was who she was, the beautiful woman wearing the white dress and all. It's lovely to meet you my dear. Leliana has told me so much about you, sang your praises quite highly in fact.'

'I've heard about you from Alistair.' Talissa shook Wynne's hand and felt a spark of electricity from her fingers. She could see why Wynne reminded Alistair of Millie the healer. They could have been sisters.

'I'm sure you have, my dear. Mind, I must warn you about Alistair's socks. They could knock out a darkspawn at twenty paces.'

'Oh I know that alright.'

'What is it about women? You barely know each other and you're already ganging up on me!' Alistair said in mock frustration and the two women laughed. Talissa realised why she had become like a surrogate mother to Alistair in the time they'd known each other. There was no-one else, no other woman in Alistair's life to fulfil that role.

Wynne hugged both of them and said in a low voice, 'Mireli was right'. She had not wanted others around them to hear.

'Now go and enjoy your day and let the old woman alone.' Her eyes sparkled as she kissed both of them on the cheek.

* * *

Alistair said his hello's and introduced Talissa. 'This is Oghren and Felsi. Sorry but I don't know your name.' Alistair said, motioning at a female dwarf in leather armour with chestnut hair and grey eyes.

'Shayle of House Cadash.'

Both Alistair and Talissa looked surprised. Talissa heard about the taciturn voice with the bent for killing birds from Alistair. 'Wynne finally helped you become a dwarf again. I'm glad for you.' Alistair said smiling.

'I see IT has finally got married.' Shayle smiled as she said this.

'You can call me by my name now Shayle.' Alistair said in exasperation.

Oghren had been patiently waiting to speak 'Aren't ya gonna introduce us properly, ya nug humper?'

'Oh yes. This is Talissa, my – wife.' Alistair was undoubtedly very proud as he said that.

'Good to meet you Oghren.'

'And you lass. This is my wife, Felsi.' The middle dwarf smiled and put a hand on her swollen belly.

'And I see congratulations are due. How long to go now?' Alistair said.

'Three months, and it can't come soon enough too!' Felsi replied.

'Oghren as a father, wonders will never cease.' Alistair smiled and put his hand on Talissa's waist.

Talissa smiled politely and looked away but her eyes were repeatedly drawn to Felsi's belly.

'Do you want to dance?' Alistair suddenly asked Talissa.

'Why not? Good to meet you all, we'll see you later.'

He led her onto the dance floor. They were both quiet, Alistair not quite sure how to broach the subject.

'They say the eyes are the mirrors of the soul. And with you that's certainly true. You can't hide from me, Tal.'

Talissa looked down. 'Am I that obvious?'

'To me. To anyone else, probably not. I saw you eyeing Felsi's stomach. You know we can always try for children. It's not impossible but it will be difficult.'

'What do you think we've been doing for the last few months?' She smiled and he noticed how her eyes caught the late afternoon light.

'Please don't let it spoil the day for you, that's all.'

'I won't. T'was just a glitch, I promise.'

He kissed her lips. 'Good. I have an idea about our honeymoon. You know we're going to Orzammar...'

* * *

'Alistair, I meant to say, there's a present for you in the stables from myself and Teagan.' Arl Eamon said to Alistair a while later.

'Let me guess, you've set my bed up out there for old times' sake.' Eamon went pale. 'Joke I promise.' Alistair added hastily.

'We brought a Mabari with us who needs a new master. Her old master died a few weeks ago. Perhaps you or Talissa could try? She's called Amy and is four years old. Anyway if you want to try tomorrow, she's in the stables.'

'Oh thanks, I'm sure Talissa will be interested as well.'

* * *

Talissa decided that their wedding had been the best day of her life. She loved watching her friends and family enjoy themselves and noticed Alistair hadn't stopped smiling all night. Just after twelve, he said he wanted some air and asked her to come with him. She agreed and they walked outside of the Castle, into the gardens and behind the Hall. Talissa left her shoes on the path and lifted the hem of the dress to stop it from getting wet on the dew sodden grass. He led her to where the light flooded onto the grass from the Hall windows and they could hear the music. He stood in front of her and bowed.

'Dance with me Talissa.' Alistair noticed her confusion.

'Here, now? But –' Alistair put a finger to her lips to quieten her, held her hands and started to dance with her as if they were on the dance floor.

'You old romantic!' Talissa whispered.

'If you can't be romantic on your own wedding day, when can you be? And less of the old!' He laughed.

She moved her head closer to his. 'I love you, Alistair. And today has been worth it.'

'It has.'

Inside the Hall, Fergus and Diandra were stood watching the newly married couple dance in the gardens.

'I always suspected he was a bit of a romantic, it must be the Chantry boy in him.' Fergus smiled.

Diandra turned to look at him. 'Why do you never do things like that?'

Fergus slipped his hands round her waist and stood behind her. 'Do you want to dance?'

'Only if you promise not to step on my feet.'

Outside when the song ended, Alistair and Talissa only had eyes for each other. He kissed her hungrily and as they kissed she began stroking the back of his neck gently with her fingernails.

'I suppose we should go back into the hall.' Talissa said after a few minutes.

'I suppose we should.' Alistair said reluctantly. 'What do you think about my suggestion for Orzammar?'

'I think the more people we have in our party, the better, though I would like to spend some time alone with my husband first.' Talissa smiled, taking his hand in hers and rubbing a finger across the wedding band.

'In that case, shall we ask people to meet us in about ten days' time at Orzammar? And we'll slowly make our way there, staying at various places on the way. I want you to lead the party in the Deep Roads.'

'WHAT! I can't, I mean, I –'

Alistair laughed as they began to walk back to the path. 'You're babbling again, my darling. Shall we go and see who's interested in killing Darkspawn?'

* * *

Oghren looked hopefully at Felsi. She rolled her eyes upwards. 'Go on you old fool but you better be back in time for the little nuglet to be born.' Felsi grinned at him. She knew he'd be worse than a small child to live with if he knew everyone else was killing darkspawn and he couldn't.

'He'll be back in time for that, I promise.' Alistair said. 'Shayle, how do you feel about a trip down there?'

'I think it sounds like a great idea Alistair. Are you leading the party?' Shayle said curiously.

'No, I'm leading it.' Talissa said.

The conversation around them seem to die. '_You're _leading the party?' Shayle repeated, as if such a thing couldn't be possible.

'That's right.' The two women stared at each other. For a moment it seemed as if the conversation in the entire hall had died, not just in their group.

'In that case I would be intrigued to see how you are as a leader. Very well, I would be honoured to be in the party.' Shayle replied. Talissa swore she almost saw her wink.

'Good.' Talissa smiled in return.

'Wynne, what about you?' Alistair said to the elder mage stood with Shayle.

Wynne laughed. 'As much as I would love to adventure with you for old times' sake I fear the exertion could see me off this time for sure. No I'll go back to the mage tower.'

Talissa smiled at her. 'That's fine Wynne.'

'But what are we going to do about a healer?' Alistair asked Talissa.

'Now you mention it, we'll have a word with Millie tomorrow. She has a new healer who she says won't shut up. Perhaps we can take him off her hands for a few weeks? I'm sure she would be glad of the quiet. Although we take him, we take his cat too. It goes everywhere with him.'

Alistair screwed his face up at the thought of a cat in the party as well but they needed a healer. No party would last long without healing in the Deep Roads.

'Fair enough. Leliana, Zev, what about you both?' Alistair said.

'I would _love_ to come although I have another trip to the Urn I have to be part of in just over two month's time. I must be back for that.' Leliana said. She would also be intrigued to see this fiery elf lead the party.

'I would love to come as well, although Fergus might not be keen on two of his trainers being away at the same time, my friend.' Zevran shrugged.

'Oh, are you planning on running out on me as well, Zevran?' Fergus said walking over with his arm round Diandra's shoulders.

'We've invited him to come to Orzammar and the offer extends to you and Di but I have a feeling the Queen might not be very happy if there was no-one to respond to her urgent messages.' Alistair grinned at him.

'True. Zev you can go. Make the most of it while I'm happy.' Fergus seemed to sway slightly.

'Drunk more like.' Diandra said. 'Thanks for the offer both of you, but I have a feeling I'll also be needed here to make sure Fergus doesn't make any rash decisions.' She shook her head and they walked off, Fergus protesting about his intoxicated state.

'That's settled then.'

'One thing though.' Leliana said. 'No Broodmothers, if we see one we run the other way.'

The men in the party looked down at their feet, while Talissa and Felsi looked confused.

'A Broodmother? What's that?' Talissa said.

'I'll tell you – but not tonight, don't want to spoil the mood.' Alistair said. 'Goodnight, we'll discuss this tomorrow before you all leave.' Alistair led her out of the hall, to cat calls and wolfwhistles from various inebriated people.

As they reached their bedroom door, Talissa was about to walk through the door when Alistair put a hand in front of her.

'Allow me.'

Alistair picked her up as she put her arms round him. He booted the door open and put her down in the bedroom.

'Why did you do that?' Talissa said, laughing.

'That, my darling, was being carried over the threshold. It's an old custom, after you get married. I take it elves don't do that?' Alistair put his arms round her waist and kissed her.

'Not that I'm aware of. Perhaps you can help me out of this dress?' Talissa turned round, lifting her hair up.

'I would be glad to.' Alistair said, slowly kissing the back of her neck. 'Eventually.'

'Bah, get unfastening buttons! ' Talissa replied pretending to be irritated.

'Oh is my fiery wife being all bossy is she? Well how about we do something we don't normally do. I'll undress you after, I promise.' Alistair said with a wicked grin.

_* 'Anath ara da'len' is basically 'Hello child'. Thanks to Sandtigress for the Dalish help and suggestions. You're a star!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Well this is the last Chapter of 'The Warden Commander'. I thought I was best to end it here as strictly speaking he's no longer the Commander. I want to say thanks to everyone who've reviewed, alerted, favourited and lurked. You have been appreciated, believe me! :). Also to Erynnar for beta-reading for the last few chapters. You're a star, hun :). _

**Chapter 16**

The next morning as Talissa and Alistair walked into the Refectory, they got knowing looks and laughter from some fellow grey warden's sat near the door. Embarrassed, Talissa hurriedly went over to where her sister was sat with Bann Teagan. She smiled as she saw the look on Teagan's face. Her sister had him rapt. Serena was talking to him very animatedly and barely noticed Talissa sit down next to her.

'Morning, both of you.' Talissa grinned.

'Good morning Talissa.' Bann Teagan smiled at her.

Alistair walked across the room to the table with a tray with two breakfasts and two coffees for them.

'Ravenous, are we?' Serena grinned slyly.

'It's a side-effect of the famous grey warden stamina, Serena.' Alistair winked at her as everyone else smiled, except for Serena who blushed red. She had been trying to embarrass her little sister and it had backfired.

Seeing Serena's embarrassment Teagan changed the subject.

'Are you going to see Amy this morning?'

'Amy?' Serena looked confused. Alistair had already told Talissa about the dog.

'It's our wedding present from Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan, a mabari hound that needs a new owner.' Alistair answered.

'But why is she called Amy? It's a very human name.' Talissa frowned at Teagan.

Teagan put his cup down and looked at her sadly. 'My brother had a knight who swore fealty to him when he first became an Arl. Ser Ellis he was called. He married a local Redcliffe woman and they had a child together, a little girl who he doted on. She died at the age of two of pneumonia but he and his wife Elanae never had any more children. When he was given a mabari as a thank you for long service, a few months after his child died, he named her Amy after his little girl. He died a few months ago and his wife couldn't afford to keep the dog.'

Talissa swallowed hard and felt Alistair's hand touch hers. He looked at his wife with concern in his eyes.

'What a sad story.' Talissa began quietly, 'In that case, I think Amy is the perfect name for her.'

'I'm glad you think so, Talissa. Shall we all have a walk to the stables after breakfast to see her?' Teagan smiled.

#=#=#

As the two couples made their way out of the Refectory, her parents walked in. Talissa promised to come back and see them before they left. Arl Eamon had offered them all a lift back to Redcliffe. It was a kind act, but something that Talissa thought had more to do with Teagan than Eamon. The two sisters fell into step together as they walked towards the stables.

'So what's going on, Serena?' Talissa muttered so only her sister could hear.

'With me and Teagan?' Serena cheeks reddened.

'Oh, so it's _Teagan_ now!' Talissa giggled at her sister.

'I've known him a while. He's always been kind to me, much kinder than any other noble I've met. I never knew he liked me until last night. We stayed up talking until dawn.' Serena smiled to herself.

'What's going to happen when you get back to Redcliffe?'

'That's what I'm not sure about.' Serena bit her bottom lip. 'I'm just a maid and I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I mean I'm not sure he would want anything more than a mistress.'

Talissa put her arm through her sister's and said gently. 'He might surprise you.'

'Perhaps.'

'Well, you have the journey back. I wouldn't be too worried, it is an overnight stay after all. Volunteer to go for water or firewood and I bet he'll follow you as your bodyguard.' The two sisters sniggered and Serena glanced back at Teagan, who smiled at her.

When Teagan smiled at Serena, he turned to Alistair and said, 'I think she's the right one, you know.'

'Pardon?' Alistair looked up at him, not sure he'd heard correctly and not sure he wanted to hear what his uncle had to say.

'Serena. I have liked her for a long time.'

'Surely it's too soon to tell just after one evening?'As soon as he'd said it, he realised it was certainly hypocritical of him. After all, he had told Talissa he loved her after only a month.

Teagan shook his head at his nephew's tactlessness. 'Sometimes in life, when you meet someone you just _know._ After all, you and Talissa haven't been together long. Don't tell me you don't understand what that's like, Alistair.'

'But Eamon and Isolde –'

Teagan smirked. 'They're hardly the best people to judge my relationship. Besides, Eamon guessed last night. As for Isolde, let's just say if I were to have my way, she would need another ladies' maid.'

They arrived at the stables and went in. Inside, some of the horses nickered a greeting. Alistair asked a stable boy who was sweeping straw up where the mabari was.

'End stall, ser. Careful, she's vicious though!'

Talissa and Alistair walked over to the cage. There in the low light, a tan and black striped mabari stood, like the proud warrior dog she was. She barked at them.

'You first, Alistair.' Talissa said.

He stood directly in front of the stall, talking to the dog. Amy whined and put her head on one side, looking befuddled.

'I'll let you.' Alistair said, moving his wife forward.

'Hey girl, how's Amy, hmm?' Talissa's voice was low, one hand flat on the bars of the cage at a height that the dog could smell her.

The dog wagged her tail and moved forward.

'I'd say that's a yes for you, Talissa. Why don't you go in with her?' Teagan sounded pleased.

They undid the bolts on the cage gate and Talissa walked in through the door and Alistair closed the gate behind her. Talissa held her hand out to the dog so she could still smell her. The dog looked up at her expectantly, wagging her tail so much she looked like she was shaking with excitement.

Talissa bent down and started to stroke her head, aware that this was a warrior dog with the ability to kill. The dog loved being fussed over and when Talissa was tickling her belly, Alistair groaned.

'Oh good, yet again the woman I'm with has a vicious dog, in case we argue.' Alistair grinned at Talissa. Amy growled at Alistair, showing her teeth.

'No Amy! Bad dog!' Amy whined at being told off by Talissa. She put her head down and moved to nuzzle Talissa's hand with her nose.

'You soft dog, yes you are!' Talissa laughed, scratching the back of her head.

'I can tell Eamon you'll take the dog?' Teagan watched Talissa fussing over the dog.

'I would be outvoted if I said no. We'll take her.' Alistair said resignedly, yet grinning.

The two couples walked back to Highever, leaving Amy in the stables.

'You like Amy then?' Alistair asked.

'Of course I do.'

'She seems taken with you anyway and she'll be useful to have when we go into the Deep Roads.'

Talissa went quiet and watched as Teagan held her sister's hand as they walked together. Although they seemed to be good together, she couldn't help but be concerned. She was sure it would cause ructions in the Guerrin family if they married.

'You don't need to worry about Serena.'

'Stop reading my mind, husband.' She wrinkled her nose up, turning to him 'How did you know what I was thinking?'

'Because I know you and I can tell you're worried about her.'

'But what is it you know and aren't telling me?'

Alistair smiled enigmatically.

#=#=#

When they got back to the castle courtyard, Eamon's carriage was almost packed. Serena and Teagan just needed to stow their bags and in a few minutes the carriage was full.

'Look after my daughter and don't let her get away with too much because of that temper.' Maren said smiling as he shook Alistair's hand.

'I won't, she has no chance of that with me!'

'Papa, you shouldn't encourage him!' Talissa kissed her parents goodbye.

'Keep in touch and look after each other.' Natalia kissed them both on the cheek.

'We will Mama.'

Serena hugged her sister. 'Take care and let me know what happens.' Talissa said, looking over her shoulder at Teagan stood nearby.

'Should anything happen and I doubt it will, yours will be the first letter I write, I promise.' Serena smiled.

'It was lovely to meet you.' Teagan said, kissing Talissa's hand. He turned to Alistair, clapping him on the arm and said, 'I'm sure you'll be very happy together. And I may one day be in such an enviable position as yourselves!'

Talissa heard this and she raised an eyebrow questioningly at Alistair. His face gave nothing away.

The group entered the carriage and Alistair and Talissa waved goodbye. As the carriage pulled off into the distance, Alistair said 'I suppose we better go and see that other group and organise our trip to Orzammar. I think that should be your job though.'

Talissa saw Alistair smiling at her. 'It should be _both_ our jobs, sweetheart. We're not in the Deep Roads yet.'

'As group leader, why don't you go and speak to Millie about that healer you told me about?' Alistair said as they walked back in through the front door to the castle.

'Fine, I'll go and do the dirty work. Don't we need permission from Fergus for another person to join our group from Highever?'

'None of the healers are Grey Wardens, so no we don't. The choice is down to Millie and I know how much she likes you. She just tells me off for corrupting you every time she sees me now!' Alistair bent to kiss his wife.

'I like being corrupted by you.' She whispered innocently.

Alistair rolled his eyes and kissed her on the nose. 'Go now, before I forget where we are.'

#=#=#

'Talissa, how lovely to see you!' Millie kissed Talissa on the cheek. 'Come and have tea with me.'

They went into Millie's office, a fire lit in the grate even though it was warm.

Millie pointed at a chair near the fire.

'Take a seat, dear.' On the wooden chair, there was a large ginger cat. 'Just shoo the cat off.' While Talissa was trying to figure out how to get the cat of the chair without hurting it, Millie lifted the back of the chair off the floor and the cat slid to the ground with an irritated 'MeRAAWLL!'

Millie walked over to the door. 'Anders, come and get your cat!' she shouted.

A tall, lithe man in blue robes came through the door, wisps of long blonde hair beginning to come out of the ponytail. He stopped short when he saw Talissa.

'I recognise you. You must be the beautiful bride from yesterday. I'm Anders.' He held his hand out and she put her hand in his, expecting a handshake. He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it gently, his twinkling blue eyes sparkling at her. 'And you are?'

'Married, Anders, so stop flirting with her or her husband will hit you into next week.' Millie interrupted and got two cups out of the cupboard next to the fireplace.

Anders winked at Talissa and let go of her hand.

'I see you met Sir Pounce-a-lot.' Anders said, as the cat wove round her legs.

'Sir _What_? Why do you call him that?' Talissa asked.

'Because it's his _name_, of course.' Anders bent down and the cat climbed up his arm and onto his shoulder. He stood and turned to her. 'I never did find out your name.'

'Talissa.'

'A gorgeous name for a gorgeous elven woman like yourself.' Anders said, watching her blush.

'Go and find some blankets to fold before you dig yourself any deeper.' Millie passed Talissa a cup of tea.

'Yes, Mistress Millie.' He smiled at Talissa and raised an eyebrow as he walked out of the room. Talissa felt herself go pink and even though she was now married, that just proved she was still susceptible to flattery. Millie closed the door behind him and they sat down next to the fire.

'That Anders, I swear he only does the 'Mistress Millie' to get a rise out of me.'

'It seems to work.' Talissa smiled.

'So what can I do for you, Talissa?' Millie asked, pushing a scrap of long grey hair out of her face as an irritated gesture.

'Alistair and I are going to Orzammar with a group of people and we need a healer. I was wondering if you can suggest anyone?' Talissa sipped her tea and watched her friend's face.

'I would suggest Kattrin, my second but you know how much I've come to rely on her. She's a good healer.'

'What about Anders?' Talissa asked. As much as she liked Kattrin she couldn't imagine her being in the Deep Roads fighting Darkspawn, not without a great deal of complaint. Anders seemed more like the adventurous sort.

Millie snorted '_Him_! He wouldn't know one end of a staff from another.'

'Funny, I remember a time not so long ago you said that about Kattrin too.' Talissa grinned at her friend.

Millie smiled at the younger woman in return 'Point taken. He has a chequered past, does Anders and although he claims to have good healing skills, I'm yet to see them.'

'Well we could test him before we leave, see if he can heal as well as he says or if it's all bluff?'

A knock on the door and Anders walked in. 'Millie, there's a casualty from the training field, shall I patch them up?'

'No, I'll – Hold on, yes but I'll watch.'

Millie came back a few minutes later, surprised.

'Wonder of wonders, the man can heal. He's yours to borrow. How long would he be away for?'

'About a month. He can travel down to Orzammar with Zevran in about a week's time. We've yet to thrash out the finer details but –' A cough made both the women turn around.

'Is there something I should know about?' Anders asked, as he walked in through the door.

Talissa smiled as Millie shook her head. 'Your hearing is far too acute for your own good, my lad.'

Millie walked out of the room, leaving them alone.

'Aww, she called me cute!' Anders said sarcastically.

'Acute and she meant your hearing.'

'Ah well, she's not the woman I would want to be called cute by.' Talissa felt distinctly uncomfortable as Anders watched her get up off her seat and walk in front of the fire.

'I'm due to go to Orzammar with my husband for a darkspawn bash in the Deep Roads. There's a group of us going and we need a healer.'

'_That's_ your honeymoon?' He smirked.

'It was my suggestion. What do you think? You'd be away from here for about a month and away from Millie too.' She added as an aside, grinning.

His whistle was long and low and he said 'Where can I sign up?'

#=#=#

When Talissa and Anders went to the Refectory to see the rest of the group, Alistair was already tucking into an early lunch while Shayle, Oghren, Leliana and Zevran were having a discussion about where to go and when to meet up. The conversation stopped short when Talissa and Anders came upto the table.

'This is Anders. He's the healer I told you about, Alistair.'

Alistair's eyes narrowed slightly and he stood up to shake his hand.

'Good to meet you and congratulations on your marriage to this exquisite woman.' Anders looked at Alistair and he seemed determined to fill the conversational gap between them. When Anders said 'exquisite woman', Alistair drained his mana.

'Oh. A Templar.' The stopped conversation at the table became a frozen tableau, all waiting for Alistair to say something.

'An ex-templar. But my abilities are still there if I need them. So my wife has told you about our trip into the Deep Roads?' Alistair said, not lingering too long on the implied threat.

'Erm, yes.' Anders said, warily. Talissa rolled her eyes at the two men acting like idiots.

'In that case, you'll need to know the rest of the party.'

Alistair put his hand on Zevran's shoulder.' Zevran, you might already know. He's an ex-assassin with the Crows and the rogue trainer here at Highever.' Zevran nodded at Anders, a lascivious smile on his face.

'Leliana is a bard and archer.' Anders nodded in her direction and the red-head returned his attention with a smile.

'Charmed.' Anders said, his eyebrow raising at the pretty bard. Alistair coughed and pointed at the dwarf.

'Oghren fights two-handed and seems to fight better drunk.' The dwarf got up and shook his hand.

'So _you're _the skirt wearing sparkle-fingers I drank under the table last night.' Oghren's voice was gruff and he seemed none the worse for his previous night's entertainment.

'That would be me.' Anders vaguely remembered him. He shook his hand and gave the dwarf an ice burn.

'Why you nug-humping-' Felsi grabbed his arm and pulled him down in his seat.

Alistair moved Anders away from Oghren before there was a fight and over to Shayle, who was regarding the mage with interest. 'Shayle is a sword and shield fighter and she used to be a golem when I previously knew her.' Alistair watched the mage's eyes go round in surprise.

'Really, I mean that must have been –'

'I'm an ex-templar, who fights sword and shield and a grey warden as well.' Alistair interrupted, staring at the mage.

'And my wife, who you've already met is another rogue, a duellist and she will be the group leader. She's the other grey warden in the party.'

'_You're _the leader? I thought Alistair would lead.' Anders blustered.

'That's what everyone says. Do you still want to join the party?' Talissa asked Anders, giving a warning look to Alistair.

'As long as you keep the Templar from using his powers on me, we'll get along just fine.' Anders gave Alistair a wary look.

'If you keep your hands off my wife I won't need to use my powers on you, will I?'

That was enough of the two men bickering for Talissa.

'Alistair, stop. If you waste your templar skills on acting like an Anderfels cave man, you'll be sleeping with Amy – the dog.' Alistair looked surprised and as Talissa turned to face Anders, there was giggling from Felsi and Leliana.

'Anders, what Millie said was right. I'm married so forget trying to flirt with me. There are other women in the party.' The giggling stopped when Leliana realised she was mainly talking about her.

'Now, shake hands and no magic or arm wrestling bravado from either of you.' Quietened, the two men shook hands cautiously.

#=#=#

The group was due to meet at the Tapsters Tavern in Orzammar in ten days time. Zevran and Anders were to borrow the carriage to get as far across to the Frostback Mountains as they could. Once they had sorted out the finer details, Wynne, Felsi, Oghren, Leliana and Shale took the carriage that Alistair had arranged for them to go back to Highever town. From there, they were making their own way back to their homes. They said their goodbyes, Wynne's goodbyes to Alistair and Talissa being particularly poignant as they weren't sure when or if they'd see her again.

When they had waved everyone else off, Alistair hugged Talissa to him.

'Is this your way of saying sorry?' Talissa asked, her voice filled with humour.

'Sorry for what?' He looked at her, sounding bemused.

'Sorry for acting like an over-protective man. I'm expecting to be grabbed by the hair and dragged back to the home cave any second.'

'He was practically _drooling_ over you.'

'And you didn't do the same thing when you first realised you liked me?' Talissa put her arms round his neck and kissed him.

'That was different.' He returned her kiss, pressing himself to her. They kissed like this until they heard a cough.

'That's what we give you bedrooms for. You might want to go there.' Fergus said, looking hungover but amused all the same.

'Yes, Warden Commander,'

'Sorry, Warden Commander.'

Their laughter hit the air as they walked along the passageway.

_I'm still writing my Teagan fic (Distraction:The Truth) and I will continue with this story but under a different name. If you put me on author alert, you'll see it when it comes up ;)._


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